Winter is upon us! As the weather gets colder, many activities have to move indoors. Check out our self-care tips for the winter season!

Read a Book

Since we will have to spend more time indoors during winters, one thing you can you is catch up on reading. Reading can help get your creative juices flowing as you immerse yourself into the story you are following.

Bundle Up

When going outdoors, it is important to dress appropriately for the weather. You don’t want to get sick!

Just recently, I went for a walk, and underestimated the weather. While I was wearing jeans and a hoodie, it wasn’t enough; I was quite cold.

Grab, your jacket, hat, and gloves, and you’ll be even more prepared for the extra cool air.

Hot Cocoa

The oldest tradition in the book! Make yourself a nice, hot cup of cocoa, and sip away. If you like marshmallows, throw some in the cup for extra flavor!

Send a Card

Some people get very lonely when the cold season traps them inside. Send a card to a loved one to let them know you’re thinking of them!

Fireplace

After making yourself a cup of hot cocoa, sit by the fireplace for extra warmth. If you don’t have a fireplace in your house, crank up your heaters. Not too much, though, to avoid a high electric bill lol. Another alternative is taking a warm or hot shower.

Movie Night

Finally, get cozy and watch your favorite movies. If you can’t make it to a theater, streaming services have a plethora of films you can check out. If you don’t stream, YouTube is a great alternative!

It finally happened; I was involved in my first car accident.  The dreaded event happened on the highway while I was traveling to meet up with some friends.  An almost fun time turned into a day full of trauma.

The Car Accident

Basically, whoever was at the front of the lane I was in slammed on their brakes, causing a chain reaction of brake slamming.  Unfortunately I wasn’t able to stop in time because of this, resulting in a collision.  I wasn’t following them closely as I always try to keep as much space in between cars as possible.  It was simply the unexpectedness of it and my reaction time not being good enough. Even though it happened within seconds, time seemed to slow down as my car got closer to theirs. I felt my life flash before my eyes. 

After the impact, I had a plethora of thoughts as I tried to collect myself enough to move into the breakdown lane. My first thought was how much stress this would cause my mom.  She already has way too much stress on her plate, and now this situation is going to add more.  Then I thought about the other driver, hoping they were okay.  Lastly, I feared that I would get arrested.

I called my mom, sobbing, and told her what happened.  Even though I kept apologizing, her sole focus was making sure I was okay and guiding me through the situation. Police then arrived and escorted myself and the other driver to a parking lot off the highway. We were fortunately right next to an exit, so little driving was needed.  I gave them the necessary information and waited while they ran it.  I was still having an emotional breakdown while also still being on the phone with my mom.

The other driver seemed okay, and we were both cleared to go home. I stayed in the parking lot for a while longer as I wasn’t yet ready to drive again.  Eventually I was able to drive home despite not being okay emotionally.

Scary & Annoying

It was both a scary and annoying life event. I had just started feeling 100% comfortable with driving on the highway.  As comfortable as someone can be with all the craziness that can happen. It took a long time to build my confidence behind the wheel, and now it would come to a halt.  Fortunately, though, it didn’t do too much damage to my self esteem. I was back on the road within a week or two.  However, I haven’t been back on that same route yet, but I’m hoping to overcome that fear soon.

The Aftermath

Due to the accident, my mom and I had to say goodbye to our 2006 Toyota Highlander. Initially, the only visible damage appeared to be on the front bumper, but there was also interior damage to the engine. This resulted in the car being considered a total loss. I think the age of the car played a factor, though. If it wasn’t so old, the mechanics may have felt that it would have been worth it to do repairs.

Despite being an older car, it still served us very well.  There were things that needed to be fixed every now and then of course. Regardless, it probably could have lasted us several more years. Therefore, it was a hard goodbye. Not only was it my mom’s favorite car, but it was also in the majority of my life.

We used a modern rental car for a couple of weeks, and it was a huge transition.  The upgraded technology was annoying to get used to, which I feel old saying lol. The only good thing about it was that it prepared us for the new car we now have, which is the same model, just a different year.

Please remain vigilant on the road at all times! I don’t want any of you to experience what I went through! ~ T

A semicolon is used when an author could have chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.

High School

People say your high school years are some of the best years of your life. They are filled with Friday night football games, junior prom, and pep rallies – core memories that are made during this time. My high school years, however, were some of the worst years. Instead of making lifelong memories with friends, I was held hostage to my bed, plagued with intense depression and anxiety.

I didn’t leave the house much in high school. I spent 4 years completing school online, barely getting by. Some days were extremely dark; I couldn’t speak to anyone, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t imagine waking up the next day to the life I was living. Thankfully, I found help and began therapy. I would be lying if I said my first counseling sessions were productive. In reality, I spent the first few hour sessions crying, unable to get a word out. Very slowly, I gained the strength to open up to my therapist. I began to put in the work to take back control of my life. The work I have done in therapy was hard and long, and even still today, ongoing.

Today

If you told 16 year old me, the girl who didn’t want to keep living, who missed out on high school because of her mental health – that I am thriving in college, she would not believe you. Sometimes it is still difficult for me to recognize and celebrate the many accomplishments I’ve gathered since that extremely dark time in my life. But I am being mindful to self-reflect and recognize how much progress I have made every single day. 

Being on the other side of the couch has truly brought things into perspective. When I entered the role of Marketing Intern at Positive Directions, I felt so many emotions that are still difficult for me to put into words; bittersweet and proud come to mind. Being in the counseling environment as an employee and not a client is a feeling I can’t describe. I feel so incredibly lucky to have this opportunity.

Looking Back

Looking back, I can now say that I don’t recognize high school me. But I am grateful for her, and immensely proud of her; I would not change a thing. She gave me the passion and drive to one day pursue a career where I have the ability to help people, exactly like I was helped. 

This is your sign to keep going and to stay alive. There is a light at the end of the tunnel; I know because I’ve reached it.

A semicolon is used when an author could have chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.

~ Juliana

After sharing several videos of advice from other students, I wanted to offer my own advice that will apply to any student, no matter what grade you’re in. College students too! My pieces of advice comes from things that I wish I did more when I was in school.

1. Study

I think it is extremely important to set aside some time to study for your classes. Not only that, but not saving your homework for the last minute.

In both high school and college, studying was a rare occasion for me. So much so, that I failed some classes and had to retake them (college) or move to a lower level of the subject (high school). My time in school would have gone so much more smoothly if I studied more.

Do your homework! Please do not save it for later. Your life will be so much easier if you complete it sooner rather than later. That 11:59 PM deadline is a real killer.

2. Get Enough Sleep

Do not follow in my footsteps of going to bed late on a school night. If you have to wake up early to get to school on time, you will be miserable if you go to bed late. One night in high school, I remember going to bed at 2 AM and waking up at 6 AM for the next school day. I’m not sure how I made it through the day; it was definitely extremely difficult.

I would recommend going to bed by 11 PM the latest if you have to get up at 5 or 6 AM. Had I done that more, getting through the school day would have been so much easier.

3. Join Clubs

I’ve had social anxiety all my life. It has kept me from doing a lot of things that I’m sure would have helped me feel less lonely. Joining school clubs is something my social anxiety prevented me from doing. I wish I had been more capable of pushing myself to defeat my social anxiety in those moments.

In middle school, I actually did manage to participate in after school activities, but conflicts with other students killed my most of my motivation to continue doing that in high school. In my sophomore year of high school, I only joined one club and I was the only student who consistently went. By college, I refused to join any clubs, despite being invited to a few.

4. Prepare The Night Before

As mentioned above, I would often go to bed very late, therefore making me slower in the morning. The misery was heightened by having to get everything ready for the day. Things like packing my bag with my folders, getting a lunch together, and picking out an outfit could have been done the night before.

Doing these things the night before would have saved me so much time in the morning. Heck, even taking a shower the previous night would have saved me like 30 minutes since I wouldn’t have spend time drying off and stuff.

The moral of the story is: DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES I DID! 😂

~ T

Don’t Be A Bully Month was in August, but the overall idea applies all year ’round. As a new school year kicks off, let us remind each other to a be a friend, and not a bully. Bullying is not okay; we need to lift each other up and not put each other down.

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Every day we are given various tasks to complete whether that be at work, home, school, etc. We all have schedules that we have to follow but what people are often lacking despite having a schedule is having a routine. Routines are practices that we regularly follow and can set in place for ourselves rather than the schedules we conform to every day.

Routines are really important because they help reduce stress and the uncertainty that we may face during the day. Having practices that we do every day allows for more feelings of control and security rather than waiting for the unexpected. Here are some ways that you can incorporate routines into your life.

Meals

Meal prepping or writing out a meal planning calendar can be very beneficial in establishing a routine and diminishing the stress of what to buy at the grocery store and what to eat each day. Meal prepping is a really great way to do this especially if you are on the go. Planning also allows you to make healthier choices because you won’t have to make quick decisions and you will already have the ingredients to make a meal rather than go out to eat.

Sleep

Having a wind-down routine can greatly improve your quality of sleep which in turn reduces stress levels. Creating a routine that sets your space up for sleep will allow you to start to calm down before bed and signal to your brain that you need to go to sleep. Some different things that you can incorporate into your nightly activities are reading a book, creating a skincare routine, drinking calming tea, and reducing screen time.

Mornings

The morning is such a crucial time of day because your mornings set you up for the rest of the day. Having a good morning routine will allow you to start your day on the right foot and bring you into the rest of your day with calm energy. Different practices that you can add to your morning to create a routine are doing a workout or stretching, meditating, getting fresh air, and journaling.

The mental health benefits of routine can apply to everyone, but specifically, people going through addiction recovery can greatly benefit from having a routine. Planning allows people to feel more in control and slow down the decision-making process. Routines allow us to fill our day with productive thoughts and actions which allow for fewer stressors, preventing a potential relapse.

Creating routines that work for you is the first step to establishing this new practice. There are many different ways to create routines and ways that you can help yourself stick to them.

Write them down

Writing out your routines can hold you accountable and allow you to see where they fit into your current daily schedule and tasks. Some different ways to do this could be getting an hourly planner that allows you to write out your day or make a to-do list of the different things you want to incorporate into your daily routine.

Create manageable routines

Routines are only beneficial if they make sense for you. If the mornings are super busy, then make a small list of things that you can do in the morning. This can be as simple as writing out the order in which you would like to do your current tasks like brushing your teeth, then making breakfast, then getting dressed. This will allow you to have the order of your routine consistent without adding anything new. 

Making small changes

Fully changing the way you currently do things can be very overwhelming if you want to add and change your current routine. Start with small changes and slowly incorporate all the different things you want to change in your day. For example, if you want to change your nightly routine to minimize screen time and prioritize winding down, do not fully change the way you go to bed now. Start with dimming your lighting earlier in the night and decreasing your screen time from an hour to thirty minutes. Small changes are sustainable and lead to big differences over time.

Prioritizing our mental health is so important and a great way to do this is through establishing routines. Determine what you want your routine to be, make changes if necessary, start slow, and you will be on your way to having a more calm and consistent day. 

~ Alexa S.

Back to school can be a very stressful time. As a student, it can be very overwhelming to have new classes, teachers, classmates, and more. It is an adjustment to begin a new school year even if you are in the same school with the same people year after year. It is important to set yourself up for success at the beginning of the school year and push through the challenges that come with starting a new year. Although the start of the school year can be nerve-wracking it can also be new and exciting. Students have the opportunity to make new friends, learn from new teachers about new topics, and start fresh. Navigating this change brings up so many different feelings, so here are some different ways to manage the start of a new school year.

1. Planning/Organizing

Preparing for the start of a new school year will allow you to go into the year organized and ready. Some different ways to do this are to get a planner and start filling in the planner with information from your syllabi. In addition to having a planner, it can be very useful to color code your subjects. For example, you can make your notebook and folder for science the color green and when you are adding science assignments to the planner, also write that in green. This can help coordinate your subjects and keep everything consistent.

2. Keep an open mind

When starting a new school year it can be easy to find yourself wishing for familiarity and consistency. Remind yourself that you were in this same position last year and were able to adjust. Keep an open mind about new teachers, classmates, and class subjects. Allowing things to come to you as they are without preconceived notions will give you a positive experience and an easy transition.

3. Remain confident

Everyone walks into the wrong class on the first day. It is normal to get lost or confused in the first couple of weeks of school. Classes are harder and that comes with uncertainty. In these moments remain confident and continue to push through. It takes time to achieve success and staying strong will help you to accomplish all your goals. Always remember to be kind to yourself and remember that adjustment is temporary and shortly routines will be established.

4. Ask for help

Asking for help is so important during times of transition. Seeking support gives us strength and allows us to feel less alone. Ask for guidance whether that be from a teacher, classmate, parent, or a professional. Talking through difficult situations and gaining skills equips you to deal with future challenges and make future transitions easier.

~ Alexa

College life is all about balance. Balancing classes, social life, clubs, and spending time with friends. For me, the hardest thing to balance is being healthy. Healthy has a different meaning to everyone, but I tend to focus on eating/drinking, exercising, and mental health when thinking about my overall health. College has proved to be a challenge when trying to balance my life, especially these three different aspects. There are so many different things going on in our daily lives that make it hard to focus on all aspects of our health, so I am here to tell you the small things that I try to do to achieve this balance.

Balanced Meals

Eating a balanced diet is so important because we need to fuel our bodies with the proper foods to keep going throughout the day, but it is almost impossible to resist eating all of the amazing food around us. As I have been trying to navigate my diet in college, I have found a couple of ways that work for me in maintaining balance. First, I love going out to dinner and it is one of my favorite ways to treat myself and spend time with my friends.

Freshman and Sophomore year I really wanted a change of pace from the dining hall, and now that I am a Junior, I can get too lazy to cook some nights. When I don’t feel like cooking or I just want a change of pace, I go out and order what I want, simple as that. However, I do not make a habit of going out every night. I go out when I want or need to and try to pick a healthier option!

In addition, I love sweets and eating dessert after I make dinner. Something that I like to do is put chocolate on my fruit and freeze it. I also love the cookie brand Sweet Loren’s because they are gluten and dairy-free, have a lot less sugar, and clean ingredients. Creating and maintaining a balanced diet is hard and I am still trying to figure out different methods that work for me, but I have started feeling better physically and mentally as a result of small changes I have made in my diet.

Balancing Exercise

Exercising is crucial for college students because it not only strengthens our bodies but also improves our concentration and performance on assignments. I have found it very hard to make sure that I have time in my day to exercise because we have so many different responsibilities and sometimes exercising is put on the back burner. I find that the best way to get exercise is moving your body in a way that makes you happy, not that necessarily burns calories. If I am excited about exercising I am happy to make the time in my day.

My favorite way of exercising is walking. I think the best part about walking is getting to be outside and getting away from being in a classroom or the library. I love the change of scenery and getting to appreciate how beautiful nature is. Another way I like to work out is through workout videos. In my Freshman year of college, I was terrified of the gym. Although I warmed up to going to the gym and really like doing group fitness classes like cycling, I still like to do workout videos from the comfort of my room. My favorite workout platform is Peloton because I found that I like the classes, music, and instructors better than other things I have tried in the past, but there are so many different options online.

My suggestion is to try different things and see what works for you whether that be an app or a fitness instructor on YouTube. Working exercise into our daily schedules is so important and there are so many easy ways to get some sort of exercise every day, keeping us moving and healthy.

Mental Health Balance

Lastly, mental health is really important and often we forget about checking in with ourselves. Sometimes I feel like my schedule is in control of me rather than me controlling it, which leaves me with little time for myself. Although it is great to keep busy, it can get to be too much too quickly. I didn’t start to take time for myself until recently and I have noticed such an improvement in my mental health since.

Something that I love to do as I mentioned above is walking, and when I’m walking I always listen to my favorite podcast. This distracts me from thinking about all the tasks I have to do later, dwelling on drama, or how I should start studying for my next test. I forget about myself for a little bit and focus on what other people have to think and talk about.

Another thing that has made a difference in my mood is writing down three good things that happened to me that day before I go to bed. This can be as big as getting an A on a test, to as small as my coffee being particularly good that day. I end my day with positivity and reflecting on what has gone right for me in the last 24 hours rather than going to bed thinking about what went wrong. This has made me appreciate the little things in life and put me into a positive mindset.

These small changes that I have made in my life have improved my mental health and brought me into a happier state of mind.

Balance

Balance is hard to achieve in college, but with these changes I have made in my life, I hope you are able to see how small actions can lead to big changes. Creating changes in our physical and mental health will allow us to be better students and give us the motivation to do all the things that we need to get done in a day. As you progress through the semester, I hope you can take some of my tips and start to determine what works for you in achieving a balanced and healthy life in college.

– Alexa S.

Welcome to summer! When we think of summer we often think about having a break and being able to relax from the pressure of daily life. Although that is true, it has also been found that cortisol, our stress hormone, is higher in the summer months than in the winter months. In the summer our daily schedules often change in addition to the added stressor of heat. This is why it is crucial to maintain our mental health in the summer months, and here are some ways that you can do that!

1. Exercise

Exercising is so important not only for physical health, but also for mental health too. Just 30 minutes of exercise a day can make such a large impact on stress and overall well being. The best exercises to do to lower cortisol levels are low impact workouts like walking, pilates, and yoga.

2. Go Outside

The best part of the summer is that we can finally get outside after being indoors in the winter. Being in green spaces greatly helps in lowering cortisol levels which is why it is so important to be in nature. A great activity to do is taking a walk in a park or on a trail which will really help in relaxing and decompressing.

3. Sleep

Summer is a great time to catch up on sleep because of the change in daily schedule and not having to wake up early for school. Not only does getting 7-9 hours of sleep lower cortisol levels, but creating an atmosphere and time to wind down before bed is crucial in lowering stress levels. The best way to do this is to limit screen time before bed and wind down by reading a book or doing self care activities like skin care and warm baths.

4. Do Things That Make You Happy

Having free time in the summer gives us an opportunity to do the different things that we can get too busy to do during the year. Spending time with friends and family, playing games, going on adventures, etc, all help in reducing stress and filling our days with fun rather than work.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is a great way to reduce cortisol levels and manage everyday stressors. There are many different ways to practice mindfulness like journaling, mediation, and more. There are guided meditations online and on music platforms like Spotify and Apple music. If guided meditation is not for you, deep breathing is always a good practice that you can do anywhere at any time. A popular deep breathing exercise is 4-7-8 in which you breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and breathe out for 8 seconds.

6. Seek Professional Help If You Need

If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, or need to talk to someone, consider seeking professional help. Professionals will be able to help with navigating stressful situations and giving different techniques to help you manage whatever you are struggling with.

– Alexa S.

In my last post about my self care checklist, I went a little more in depth into writing and why it’s my favorite activity from my list. Today’s highlighted activity is listening to music.

Like most people, I like listening to music. It can induce a plethora of moods depending on the lyrics, beat, flow, etc. I will either feel calm and peaceful, or get a little sad (especially if it’s a song by Juice WRLD where he talks about his depression and addiction).

I have a playlist mostly dedicated to music from the early to mid 2010s, which is currently my favorite era of music. I have the songs ordered from “least” favorite to most favorite, saving the best for last.

For me, having headphones on whilst listening to the songs makes the experience 10x more enjoyable. I like not having to worry about the volume being too loud, hearing the ad-libs more clearly, and feeling more of the bass.

Added with all of the above, listening to the music on my playlist can also motivate me to continue writing lyrics for my own songs.

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By the way, does anyone else dance and sing along to songs while looking in the mirror? Sometimes I get very animated doing so, like I’m performing on stage 😂.

I recently made a post sharing my self care checklist. I then made a video about one of the activities on the list: writing, which you can check out below. Now, I want to go a little more in depth about writing.

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. Stories, lyrics, you name it. Though it’s always been a constant in my life, I never fully realized it was a passion until I took a creative writing class in my senior year of high school. In this class, we would often share songs to help inspire us to write a poem. The writing never felt difficult, the words always came easy to me. My classmates also gave me positive feedback, which felt nice.

After high school, my poems transitions back into lyrics, and eventually I started making music. Speaking of my music, check out my most recent song here!

I am also still writing stories, some original ideas, and others are my own version of existing TV shows. For one of my original stories, I am hoping to share it with the world one day.

I just thoroughly enjoy utilizing my creativity to, well, create some word magic. For the stories, it’s very helpful to immerse myself in the fictional world I’ve created and tell a, hopefully, good story. Writing song lyrics is very therapeutic for me, as it let’s me get out whatever is bothering me. My favorite music artist, Juice WRLD (RIP), wrote a lot of songs dedicated to his depression, anxiety, addiction, etc; I’d say he’s my biggest inspiration to write about my mental health struggles as well.

I hope I never run out of ideas to jot down, because it is very enjoyable!

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~ T

A couple of weeks ago, I became inspired to create a self care checklist after seeing other people’s on social media. Some things on my list were easier to think than others; I hadn’t really thought about some of these as self care activities before. Anyway, this is what I came up with!

• Writing
• Watching YouTube videos
• Listening to my favorite songs
• Boxing
• Eating my comfort snacks
• Sitting in silence
• Hanging out with my cat
• Brushing my teeth

Be on the lookout in the coming weeks for some Reels where I plan go a little more in depth on each activity!

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What are some things you would put on your self care checklist?

-T

Check out some Reels we recently posted on our Instagram. Use them as a pick-me-up whenever you’re feeling down. 🧡🩷🩵

And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram!

What If The Rest of This Year…?

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It Gets Easier You Know

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What Makes You Happy?

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Hi everyone! Please enjoy our Reels from the past couple of weeks from Therell (2) and Quinn (1)!

Quinn – The Finch App

Quinn shares a Reel for a blog post they wrote about the Finch app, which helps encourage you to practice self care. Read their blog post HERE!

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Therell – Mental Health Awareness Chat

Both of Therell’s Reels are from a mental health discussion he did with Paige Reynolds and Joshua Perez from Child First Greater Bridgeport. Therell split the discussion into 4 parts. Check out parts 1 and 2 on our YouTube channel; PART ONE | PART TWO.

The first Reel introduces Paige and Josh. In the second Reel, Therell asks Josh about the Star Wars video game(s) Jedi: Fallen Order & Jedi: Survivor.

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Thank you for watching! Watch our previous Reels HERE!

Check out our latest Reels from the past week!

Sarah’s Reel

Sarah gives us some tips on how to make friends when you have social anxiety.

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Therell’s Reel

Therell reminds us to celebrate our accomplishments, no matter how big or small they are.

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Watch the previous week’s Reels here!

Happy April, everyone! Please enjoy our final March Reel from Dez!

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Miss the previous Reels? Find them here!

Celebrating Yule was my companion’s idea; which is who I celebrated with! Yule is a celebration of the winter solstice (the longest night of the years) and the return of the sun. Before celebrating Yule, I honestly sat and thought about cultural relevancy. I asked myself: How does the celebration of the winter solstice and return of the sun tie into my African and Native Indigenous background? There was a natural understanding that my Celtic, Nordic and Viking ancestors celebrated the winter solstice and the return of the sun. I didn’t want to make my other ancestors feel left out of this celebration! I came to understand that the traditions of Christmas came from other cultures.

What I Did to Prepare/Celebrate Components of Yule

Leading up to the winter solstice, I sought to find congruences in cultural celebration to make my ancestors feel welcome, not excluded. I then decorated the place with lights, garlands, ornaments, and plants. I also welcomed a new plant child; Gaia.

There were other things that were included and will be included in the continuation of the celebration:

• Pine cones, pine, and sticks to make protection talismans. Respectfully hand picked and provided by nature.
• Yellow, White, Black, & Burgundy Candles
  • Yellow – Represents the Sun (Lit the day of Winter Solstice) for joy and/or clearing mental blockages.
  • White – Lit on the 24th at sun down to bring harmony, truth and new beginnings. It tells fortune and future.
  • Black – Lit on the 31st of December to banish any negative energy remaining.
  • Burgundy – Intuitively lit to bring strength, determination, courage and willpower.

What Else Did I Do?

The night of the Winter Solstice, my companion and I went to a cleansing meditation in Unionville, CT. Meditating and having my energy field cleansed felt amazing. This experience made me understand why meditation is really important. Further into the celebration, my companion and I planned what flavor the Yule log was going to be (gingerbread). That is something that we are going to do soon! I can’t forget about the fairy house! I would show my fairy house but I like to respect their wishes/privacy. Just think mushroom and cabin in the woods!

– Dez 🙂

You should appreciate where you are in life, even if it’s not where you want to be just yet. Where you are now matters just as much as where you want to be. I know it can be difficult to acknowledge the small things when you’re worrying about the bigger picture but sometimes, you just have to enjoy the ride.

Many people want to be something more and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s totally natural! Unfortunately, the biggest mistake people make is getting frustrated when they feel stuck like they’re not going to get anywhere in life. Don’t look at it like that, you have to try to learn from and appreciate it for what it is.

Life isn’t just some destination that we’re trying to get to, living our lives in an experience. We can’t spend every moment trying to get the bigger picture. Doing that causes us to lose sight of where we are now. Where we are now is important too, it’s a key part of getting to the bigger picture. If we’re not living our lives for experience and fulfillment then what are we even doing?

I look back on my life now and I’m thankful for those moments of frustration. Those moments taught me perseverance, strength and how to appreciate my journey a little more. They were the stepping stones I needed to grow. I didn’t appreciate those moments until long after because I didn’t know how important they would be to my journey through life. Now, I am glad to be where I am. I’m not exactly where I want to be right now but I am one step closer to it. For that I’m thankful.

Read I’m Thankful for my Journey with Mental Illness from Still I Run, Runners For Mental Health Awareness!

Check out Sasha’s post My Thoughts On Trauma right here on TurningPointCT.org! 🙂

Self-care Sunday is all about plants and what it’s like to be a crazy plant lady! I know that most people hear the phrase “self-care” and think that it means spa stuff but that’s not true! Self-care is all about taking care of yourself, no matter how you choose to do that. There are so many forms of self-care to utilize and it doesn’t stop at the pampering. I’ve previously shared that I like to bake as a form of self-care but one of my top favorite things is taking care of my plants.

For those of you who don’t know I love plants. Honestly, I’m kind of obsessed with them and I am definitely a crazy plant lady. It all began with one plant and because of that plant, my life changed. This plant was a little cactus that a friend had given to me as a gift. It was a cute little prickly thing and I fell in love with it immediately. Having something to take care of made me feel good. Unfortunately, my poor little cactus met its demise after my dog knocked it out of the window.

Plants are a really good form of self-care. Taking care of them creates a routine and gives you a little bit of purpose when you’re feeling down. A plant, much like a person, requires attention, love and care. Taking care of one can teach you a lot about those things. Especially when it comes to yourself. If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to yourself can do.

Now that I’m older and have my own space, I’ve grown my plant collection bigger than I ever thought it could be. I love my little plants. They give me purpose and have taught me so much about taking care of myself. Nurturing them and being able to watch them all grow is a wonder because I helped them get there. It’s just such an amazing process and I got to be a part of it. Because of these plants, I’ve learned to take better care of myself. They are a reminder that a little love and care can really go a long way because that’s really all it takes.

Be kind to yourself the way that you are kind to plants and others because you deserve that kind of care too. I want you to water yourself with kind words, love and care because like plants, you need that too. I promise that will help you grow into the wonderful, beautiful person you want to be. You have to remember that it all starts with you.

Want to have your own plants for self-care? Here are 5 Easy Houseplants That Double As Self-care Reminders! 🙂

Check out Psychology Today’s article 11 Ways Plants Enhance Your Mental and Emotional Health.

Read my post How Life Feels Is More Important Than How It Looks right here on TurningPointCT.org! 🙂

Have a great week!

Sometimes, we find ourselves chasing after the things that we think we want instead of what we need. When you spend too much time focusing on the wrong things, you tend to lose sight of the things that might be right for you. We have to stop chasing the wrong things if we’re going to grow.

There may be things in your life that you’re chasing that are no longer benefiting you. You have to stop chasing those things so that the things you need to grow have a chance to catch up to you. This also means that you have to be patient.

I know sometimes you don’t want to wait for the right things to find you, but trying to force something to be right isn’t any better. It is much better in the long run to be patient.

“When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.”

Lolly Daskal

You can read The Importance of Being Patient from Forbes, really great read!

You also check out my post Practicing Self-Love On A Bad Day to learn why it’s important to love yourself a little more on the hard days.

@turningpointct.org sometimes, you gotta put yourself first💯 your mental health is a priority!! #mentalhealth #selfcare #igottaputmefirst #mentalhealthtiktok #fyp #fypシ ♬ I gotta put ME first – Citiboii SRT

Self-care alone is such a critical part of dealing with mental health. I will continue to stress this to you because without self-care, trying to cope with your mental health would be so hard. Self-care isn’t just face masks or bubble baths, it’s whatever you need it to be.

Self-care is especially important during and even after the holidays. In fact, the holiday season can be physically and emotionally exhausting for some people. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m definitely one of them. I absolutely love the holidays, but I always find myself feeling blue when they’re over.

The holidays can lead to stress and isolation for some people because it’s overwhelming. Having to see all your family at once can be a lot. Figuring out what kind of gifts you’ll be getting your loved ones can create a lot of stress and anxiety. The holiday season in itself can stress you out. While giving gifts and spending time with loved ones is great, it can take a lot out of you. Take a break from the shopping and stress, go ice skating or take a walk through your favorite lighted park. During the holidays please remember that what you want and need matters too!

While the holidays themselves can be stressful and draining, after the holidays can be pretty sucky too. All the cheer you had may have left with holiday season. This can leave you feeling blue and all but cheery. For most, it’s back to reality after the holiday season. People will be returning to work or school after getting used to having time to yourself. Don’t let it get you down. You should try to return to your normal self-care routine and maybe even a little extra to give yourself the boost that you need!

Please remember to take care of yourself this holiday season!

Check out the Health Coach Institute’s article 20 Tips For Holiday Self-Care!

You can read my post about having a split holiday right here on TurningPointCT! 🙂

Happy Self-care Sunday! One of my favorite self-care things to do is face masks! I love face masks because they’re a great way to unwind while also refreshing your pores and keeping your skin clean!

My favorite mask right now is Formula 10.0.6’s “Pores Be Pure” mask! It’s a mud mask that’s got strawberry, rosemary and yarrow in it. The strawberry and rosemary helps to eliminate any impurities on your skin while the yarrow clarifies your skin! I use this mask 3 times a week and it really helps me de-stress!

What are some of your favorite self-care things to do?

Post written by Ella Moore

I think that the beauty of human relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, familial relationships, etc…) is that completely different individuals can come together and their unique strengths and weaknesses balance out in a way that they become stronger together than apart. We instinctively crave this since humans are social creatures and this desire for connection and relationships is literally written into our DNA. However, the implicit exchange for intimacy is vulnerability, so the stakes for getting hurt from the relationship than from a stranger are much higher. So what can we do if someone we trusted hurts us, either unintentionally or intentionally? What if this person does not want to resolve the situation or cannot be reasoned with?

I recently ran into this experience where someone else’s mental health triggered my own mental health and it caused the breakdown of a friendship and I got hurt in the crossfire. This situation was incredibly reminiscent of a similar experience of getting hurt by someone close to me in high school, with the fundamental fear and trigger being perceived rejection. Both times I was unable to receive closure or accountability from the other person and this sends me reeling! I hyper-fixate on it for months, even years after it, and during the time I didn’t have as many healthy coping skills at my disposal, I would lash out to make them feel bad for the pain they have caused and to get a reaction. Now I know this is only giving that person what they want, which is to know that they have caused pain and internal/external chaos, I don’t like to give into this urge as easily as I did when I was 16. I wanted to take an active role in processing this so I can move on from it in a healthy way and not let it derail my recovery, but I was at a loss as to how to start to heal from it

At around the same time as the second incident, I coincidentally started seeing a therapist again for the first time in a few years. I lamented to her about the situation and the pain it caused and the way I was still so hung up on it, and she offered her first solution in such simple terms that I felt compelled to share them with you all too.

She compared an emotional wound to a physical one and gave me some basic steps based on this concept to help myself heal from an event or person that caused emotional pain:

1. Assess the seriousness of the “injury”

• Like physical injuries, emotional injuries can need more professional treatment and there is no shame in that!

• I sought out extra guidance from my therapist and my psychiatrist, and I even reached out to the Crisis Text Line (TEXT 741741) because it was something I didn’t feel equipped to deal with on my own.

** If you feel able to address the “injury” by yourself, the following steps can provide a guide for heal from an emotional wound **

2. Remove the thing causing the pain, like the thorn or a splinter, so it can stop doing any more harm.

• Remove the person (permanently or temporarily) or remove yourself from the environment that is causing harm (permanently or temporarily)
  • If you don’t remove the “thorn”, it has the potential to get infected or become a more serious injury than the initial jab.
• Enforce boundaries to restrict access to you:
  • “I need to take a week or so to process this so I am going to block you until then, I hope you can respect this.”
  • “I feel hurt by X action. I need you to respect that I need some physical distance from you for X until I feel better/safe/understood.”

3. Wash out/clean the wound

• Taking out the “thorn” is a good first step, but without washing out the pain and taking the appropriate self-care steps the wound will not heal properly and could turn into a painful emotional scar.
• Unprocessed “bad” feelings can lead to resentment and general fatigue.
  • It is better to cleanse yourself of as much as you can so it doesn’t fester like a real wound would.

• Let all of the “bad” emotions (there are no bad emotions, just unwanted feelings) flow out:
  • Be angry, be mad, cry, scream, vent, b**ch, grieve, or whatever you are feeling that you may be judging yourself for.
  • (As long as it is not hurting yourself or others)

4. Bandage / protect the wound

• Even after you have taken care of the initial injury, the healing process can still be interrupted or impacted by the actions of others.
  • It’s important to keep the wound clean from any toxic people or stressful situations that can worsen the initial injury.

• Practice a lot more self-care and self-compassion during this time to prevent any internal damage and provide a buffer for any outside influence that could make the pain worse.

5. Let time start to repair the intensity of the pain

• It won’t ever fully go away, at least not cognitively because we can remember it happening and we can remember the pain it brought us in the moment.
• HOWEVER, it does not need to continue being painful after we have extracted all of the healthy lessons we can learn from something like this
  • “This person is reacting more to their internal sense of chaos than anything I have done to deserve or warrant being treated badly,” “I deserve to be treated with respect,” “I need X from a relationship with someone to feel safe” … etc…
• Slowly but surely the pain does dull and hopefully the conflict can be resolved, but even if it doesn’t you know that you have the strength and tools to get through it.

This formula is not guaranteed to provide a complete fix every time, however it does provide the framework to start some healthy healing.

This post was an excerpt from our spring newsletter. For more content like this, check out the newsletter!

Join Ella, the Turning Point CT Project Coordinator, on her mission to make choices that benefit her mental health! Follow along and share your own story on Instagram, TikTok or YouTube by using the hashtag #TurningPointMoment

If you want to find out more about her mission, visit her blog HERE !

Click HERE to talk about it in the forum !

In Celebration of National Poetry Month, I am happy to share this poem. It was written with two people in mind. Typically, two lovers but in this context, its seeks to describe the relationship between the poet and the reader.

-Kevin

Brian talks about his experience at the recent Speaker Series, by CTSTRONG, which featured motivational speaker and talk show host, Constance Lane Arnold. The event was held on Friday, September 9th, in Cromwell, Connecticut. This was a special young adult conference aimed at helping to transform young adult leaders through self-care, relationship maintenance, setting professional boundaries, and more!

“As I take my seat at one of the banquet tables in the Crown Room of the Radisson Hotel in Cromwell, I’m not sure what to expect from the day’s events.  I’ve heard the speaker – Constance Lane Arnold – more than once before, on her Think, Believe and Manifest! radio program, always enjoying her show and finding myself a little more inspired after listening than before.

Understanding the Power of Caring for Self.  Focusing and Getting Clear About What You Desire.  Identifying Action Steps and Setting Intentions.  These are just a few of the topics that comprised the day’s agenda.    

She stressed the importance of boundaries, and about who we choose to spend our time with and how we engage with them. 

Those in attendance at the event expressed their struggle coping with trials and tribulations in their personal lives.  Constance discussed how the key is to not rely on external sources for your happiness, energy, fulfillment, etc.  She described certain unhealthy coping strategies as self-medication. “Medication is anything external that is used to help ease problems”. Constance also discussed how the key is to not rely on external sources for your hapiness, energy, fulfillment, etc.  

In addition to discussing the importance of mindfulness and changing your your paradigm, Constance also spoked about other practical ways to practice self care to improve life satisfaction.  “Be open to connections” she said, meaning develop healthy and enriching relationships with others, because that’s how we grow and develop.” —  Brian 

“Everyone’s journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Jamaicans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.”

This is a quote by the very historic American writer and playwright, James Baldwin… In the quote, I replaced the term, ‘Americans’ with ‘Jamaicans’.
Baldwin in my opinion was first and foremost a human being BUT in his time, he was merely BLACK and GAY. The sociopolitical stigma and prejudice that encompassed the topic of color and sexuality forced him to migrate to France in the 1940s. Though still evolving, France was one of the more liberal countries at the time (and currently is).

Referencing back to the quote above, bear in mind that 20th century America represented the ‘Egypt’ of Baldwin’s lifetime and it does make you wonder what life was really like in America in the 1940s.

Still yet, we can look to Jamaican society for a firsthand experience.

On the other hand, America today, for people like myself represents the ‘Canaan’ of what France was for Baldwin in the 1940s.

A man without roots, without a country to call home. James Baldwin used his experience to unveil what it looks like beyond being BLACK,
beyond being GAY and even more, beyond being an IMMIGRANT, a line of thought that is still unfathomable to many people in our lifetime;
in this day and age.

Baldwin superseded labels – in my opinion, Baldwin was neither BLACK nor GAY, nor was he an immigrant,
he was a human being who was denied his rights.

I’ve been inspired by James Baldwin.

What does prejudice look like in America from the perspective of a French lifestyle?
What does hope look like in France from the perspective of an American lifestyle?
These are questions Baldwin may have possibly asked himself.

The following poem is by Warsaw Shire [the poet behind Beyoncé’s recent album] – she explains what she thinks of home amidst prejudice and fighting shame.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6t78c_5aR4