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So semester one has finally come to its long anticipated end. I can finally relax and breath.
A sigh of relief from every night I stayed up to make sure that I get every ounce from this experience.
A sigh if relief from the perilous hurry to the bus stop to make sure that I make it to class in time (especially now that the snow is here).
A sigh of relief from having to pack my knapsack every morning. And a sigh of relief for a month long break from school, effective yesterday. ooohhhh Ahhhh!!!
This semester was an interesting one. I started the term with much worry. Full time school and technically, full time work. I was just making a full transition into my second job after a week long break at the end of August. And with class registrations, book rental, orientation, academic counseling and tuition deadlines… there was a lot going on.
On the very first day, halfway through getting acquainted with the new school, classroom, syllabus and grading system, I went home needing to complete a 5 page long essay – ‘Times New Romans’, font size: 12, double space, a citation page, a cover page – in one day, the professor didn’t mind that we were just getting to know each other. That was enough to keep me up after the first night. I ended my first week, contemplating the next week, the next month and how far through the semester I would actually make it.
I kept hearing my counselor in my head saying,
“If you feel you need to drop a class, don’t feel afraid to do so.”
But h*ll no, I wasn’t going to drop a class; I never have and I promised I never will. What ever it would take, I will finish the semester with 15 credits.
Four weeks in, the bells started ringing for midterms. Could this be the moment I finally heed to my counselor? H*ll no, Five classes I said, five classes it is and that’s exactly how it was. 5 exams + assignments, but I did it. I knew I would make it to the end of the semester and yes I did.
Still, one thing that I was especially worried about was my mental state. I never stopped thinking about how I felt inside could play out in the way I performed. It was a constant bother. And there are times when I hit a brick wall and I said
“No I cant!”
But the next day I was up and at it again. I never gave up! I never skipped an appointment with my doctor and I maintained connection with the right people. My counselors, always says,
“Work hard, but don’t loose track of your self,”
And the depth of these words have become a life lesson. It’s really crucial that regardless of the challenges that erupt throughout your journey, make sure that your life means something and as Viktor Frankl would agree,
“Suffering without meaning is despair.”
And I will expound on this great philosopher some more in the future.
But to end this week and as I drift towards the end of this year, I am feeling accomplished. If there is nothing else in my life that I can be proud of, it is that I am extremely proud that I made the right decision and went back to school.
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