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The cool breeze of a summer night was blowing on my face and through my hair as I was riding in the car with my best friend. I felt his hand touch mine and I immediately felt a calmness soothe the clamor I had in my mind. I sat back and allowed all of my senses to experience the relaxing state of mind I was in. I thought to myself, “This is the perfect moment. I’m going to let go of anything that’s out of my control, let go of anything that may be bothering me, and just be. Just enjoy this very moment that I’m experiencing.”
Reflecting on that moment, made me realize how often I allow myself to get caught up in the stress of the day and of life and often leads me to miss out on experiencing the current situation that I’m in.
In my active addiction days, I wasn’t able to enjoy moments or take things a day at a time. I was constantly on the go and constantly anxious about what was currently happening and going to happen next. I was so focused on getting my drug and I missed out on opportunities where I could have had joy and peace. While using, the only time that I took to “enjoy the moment”, was that moment that I was getting high. Sometimes even then, I wasn’t able to fully “enjoy” it because there were so many consequences that followed the high.
Recovery has taught me to live one day at a time, but sometimes, just a second at a time. It has taught me to not allow the feeling of being overwhelmed consume my every thought and action. Instead, I get organized and tackle one thing at a time. “Easy does it” is another slogan that helps me in my recovery and everyday life. I take a moment to breathe and pray before starting my assignments.
I’ve noticed that a lot of time I’m an over-thinker. I get anxiety when I lack control of a situation and I always think that the worst case scenario is going to absolutely happen. This type of behavior is dangerous for me and is a perfect situation for The Monkey to take full advantage of. So instead of over-thinking and becoming anxious about the circumstance, I change my perspective of the situation.
But most importantly, I turn it over to God.
“Let go, let God,” is another slogan I’ve learned since being in recovery and it has helped me tremendously in ANY situation or feeling that I face. I allow my faith to conquer my fear and I surrender whatever I’m struggling with to God. When I do this, I’m able to actually enjoy whatever moment I’m in, good or bad. I’m given a peace because whatever I’m going through, it’s in God’s hands, which are the best hands for it to be in. “Staying in the now” gives me gratitude that I’m able to just sit back, take it easy, and enjoy the very moment I’m in.
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