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My friend relapsed and I had no idea. I had been away for like two weeks and totally sucked at keeping in touch with friends and everything. The last time I had talked to him he wasn’t in that mindset of “I need to use”. Or so I thought. In recovery the biggest thing is honesty, without it that addiction can get the best of you and for him it did. He had gotten hurt and wasn’t honest with the doctor about being an addict… He came clean to everyone that he’d been taking pills (not as prescribed) which turned into also drinking for like 2 1/2 wks. I had no idea. He has three days clean now and I’m so happy he’s back, it’s just such a sucky situation. It really is a perfect example though that if you don’t ask for help a lot of times people don’t know what’s wrong or that you even need that extra support. It’s his journey and I hope he will figure it out because he really is such a good guy.
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5 Replies to “My friend relapsed…”
I’ve been there and it definitely sucks seeing your friend struggle. I like how you talked about the need for honesty in your recovery because it’s so true. Once you remove the drugs and alcohol from the equation you are left with these feelings and all the reasons you picked up. You have to be honest because when you bottle things up it doesn’t help the problem in any way. You hear a lot that your disease is doing push ups in the parking lot outside and as corny as it sounds it’s really true. You have to put some work into it, be honest, and try to do the best you can (with no expectations of doing this perfectly). Stick with it Sam!
Falling into old behaviors is normal. Relapsing can be a part of the journey to recovery, and I realized that the journey is almost never perfect.
I def feel for you and your friend. Do not blame yourself for not being there. Some things we just cannot control but I can def tell that you are a great friend and person, showing so much support, concern, and empathy. I completely agree with you, you are 100% right about honesty being the biggest thing in recovery. If one cannot be true to his or himself about their struggles, then I think it can continue to spiral out of control.
Im dealing with a friend right now that just went into a inpatient program. He will be there for 30 days and I am hoping that he can figure it out. It may not be today or tomorrow, but I have so much faith in him that he will be able to face this thing head on and will be able to stay sober. It took a while for him to admit to anything.. in fact, he didn’t.. not until everything came crashing down on him and his friends and fam were very close to making him seek assistance. I am just happy that he’s making a step towards recovery, so im hoping for the best.. we all are.
Relapse can be hard and seeing someone deal with addiction in general is hard. Vee Ruiz, it’s awesome your friend is getting help. Everyone hits their own bottom, and hopefully this is his and he accepts the help he needs.
Just checking in. This has really taught me that he needs to figure it out and when he’s ready I’m here. He has been clean for like a week now and I’m happy for him but at the same time no expectations. He knows where the help it. It was a hard lesson but you can really care about someone and have to let them find the strength to turn things around.
You are really great friend for being there for him. I struggle with the same stuff because I am one to say I am being supportive… then realize that I actually am enabling them rather then supporting them. In a past relationship I did this and it was so incredibly hard for me to get out of. One week can be huge for them… but… you are right about no expectations. To me, expecting just lead into disappoint them, You can still be there and be supportive. There is more help out there then some people know, and I just came back from the Unite to Face Addiction Rally where everyone is ending this silence. Hang in there!!