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I’ve been getting jealous of other people’s happiness lately. When I go on twitter, or instagram, or facebook, I see everyone putting out pictures of them having a great time. Meanwhile, I’m sitting at home on my computer, by myself, and feeling so desperately lonely. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, and I know I shouldn’t take these images as they are – since I know that people pump themselves up on social media to seem better than they really are – but I can’t help it sometimes.
Has anyone else done this?
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9 Replies to “Jealous…”
I’ve definitely been there! It’s so easy to fall into that hole of comparing myself to other people. But just because they look good on Instagram or whatever doesn’t always mean that they are having that great of a time or even that happy about what they’ve been doing. Because sometimes in reality you wouldn’t really want to be in their position (even if it looks better than what you’ve got going on).
Exactly…it’s like LOGICALLY I know that, but emotionally I still feel that I am a huge loser. But that’s when I have to remind myself that my feelings are not facts!
Yesss it’s also like I know this to be true. I remind myself that it’s true. And then I forget again. But the more you remind yourself, the more you remember to actually live by that.
I think this is pretty typical for a lot of us Isabel… I’m sorry you are feeling this way though. Just remember that on social media, people are posting their highlights or exaggerating their accomplishments, or showing their best photos, etc. I am guilty of this myself for sure. if I had a 100% honest facebook, I would have a lot of fearful thoughts or insecurities for status updates. Except for the chronic complainers, most people just want to discuss the glamorous stuff!
Believe me, I am guilty of comparing myself to other people too. But no one has it all. When I start to feel low, I try and list a few qualities I appreciate about myself to turn it around. Or go for a quick walk – something to distract from the negative self talk.
Social media is a joke! 9 times out of 10, people are def exaggerating. A lot of people and things are not what they appear to be. I remember when I finally started hanging out with a group of girls who seemed so popular and outgoing on social media. They were always going to the livest of events and always looked like they were having so much fun! After 7 years of friendship now, I can definitely say that it was allllll a front. lol They literally post photos in outfits that they’ve never worn outside and make some of the most dull of moments seem like they’re having so much fun.
I’ve done it before but its honestly too much work trying to only highlight the extra fun and all of the vacations. im a real person who just sits on the couch most of the time and watches Netflix.
Isabel, being jealous is so normal. I know I get a lil upset sometimes, wishing that I was out on a yacht somewhere with my hair blowing in the wind. Don’t let social media get to ya, everyone who commented on this thread is so right!
Everyone always says that technology is the best thing. And it really is cool and helpful but at the same time I feel like it makes everything happen so fast and we forget that it’s important to look up from your phone and see the world around you. It feels good sometimes to just enjoy the moment instead of feeling the need to document it on social media.
Thanks all of you for your posts. I definitely feel less like a total loser!! I am currently trying to cut back on my social media intake, and when I catch myself comparing myself to others, I just remember that they all have their own problems, and nothing is as perfect as it seems!
Technology is def taking over, and not so much in a great way if there isn’t any balance. How can you really enjoy something if you’re trying to capture every second of it on social media.. That’s such a good point.
I’m glad that you’re not feeling that way anymore Isabel.
Hi Isabel, you are definitely not the only one who feels bad about themselves after looking at other people’s pics on social media! This discussion has been on my mind the lsat couple of days and this morning someone showed me an article about exactly this topic in the NY Times. They were talking about a study on how Facebook and Instagram affect people. They included a lot of photos of celebrities which you probably don’t wanna look at! Here’s how the article ends:
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General in February measured the emotional effects of Facebook use, finding that passively using the platform (scrolling through your feed and looking at people’s posts the way you would on Instagram) enhances envy, which in turn makes people feel worse over all.
Ethan Kross, 35, a researcher on the study and an associate professor and director at the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory at the University of Michigan, said: “There’s a tendency to curate the way we appear online. Constantly seeing all these positive developments in people’s lives is not necessarily good for one’s emotional well-being.”
But it’s not all bad. Maureen Dahl, 22, a client-services technician, experienced deep vacation envy this summer after she was hit by a car in May and all her planned trips were derailed. Ms. Dahl suffered a fractured femur, tibia and pelvis and a torn meniscus. It was six weeks before she was able to move around on her own using crutches and three months before she could drive again.
Ms. Dahl, who this summer has been checking Instagram 15 to 20 times a day, and follows the Kardashians as well as some of the members of the TV show “The Real Housewives of New York City,” explained the upside of seeing all the trips showing up on her feed: “It’s definitely motivated me to get better and push myself to do things that I might not have been comfortable with.”
Instead of wallowing in her immobility, Ms. Dahl has looked closer to her home base, Saratoga Springs, N.Y., and found ways to capture the excitement she sees in the virtual world by spending time downtown or heading to the city’s racecourse.
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Her instincts reflect a finding of the Facebook study and one other that has been linked to it. “What we find is that interacting with other people directly, face-to-face or talking to someone on the phone, has the exact opposite effect on how people feel,” Dr. Kross said. “It’s an improvement of well-being.”
The cure for Instagram-induced vacation envy, it seems, is a return to pleasures IRL (In Real Life).”