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Feeling Left out

So I struggle with this..majorly. I struggle with feeling left out, even when I’m not being intentionally “left out”. So when it really happens, I am even more hurt. I take it extremely personally, how can I not?

Saturday there was a surprise party for one of my friends 30th birthday. I out of everyone was the only one not invited. It wasn’t small, it wasn’t just a family gathering, I was not invited. I don’t know why, and I eventually said something to my friend about it. Before that, for days, I lived in shame, embarrassment, self hatred, pity. My mind has wondered over and over what I’ve done wrong. I immediately put it on myself and how theres something wrong with me.

Regardess of the details, its the way it made me feel its the way I wanted to disappear and leave everything behind. My feelings were so hurt. I felt betrayed. I felt unloved and like everyone was making fun of me. Its so hard…

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