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There are many factors that play a huge role on Confidence and Self Esteem. There is the aspect of Social anxiety which many people experience. You can be out with friends or in public. If a sore subject comes up during conversation, it can definitely alter your mood. Body expressions can change as well, and it becomes noticeable. Over the years I learned a critical part which hinders and can effect confidence and self esteem. Growing up, if there is a lack of consistency in your life, trauma or not, your social skills aren’t developed at the same pace as everyone else. Especially if you are constantly moving, in different environment, and don’t have the opportunity to form friend friend ships and relationships. It goes a long way down the road where you are around people your age. That was a big struggle for me. Because of living in different environments and moving to different DCF placements as an adolescent. By the time I was 18 and no longer in DCF, when I got a job after high school, I wasn’t anywhere close to people my age regarding social skills. I was made fun of and laughed at a lot for social awkwardness. That can either lead to isolation, or not wanting to be put in those social situations again. Also being bullied and made fun of hurts your confidence and self esteem. Then those social situations become uncomfortable. But to develop that confidence and self esteem, you have to keep putting yourself out there. It can be hard, uncomfortable, and anxiety producing, but it helps over time. This is coming from someone who was nonverbal growing up, has PTSD, was bullied, and also experienced everything I mentioned above, and more. Ive always had the drive and motivation to be healthy and get better. You have to confront the problem and step outside your comfort zone or else those barriers can never be broken. One thing I am working on now is how I carry myself, and body posture. Many people tell me, “you have accomplished so much and done so many incredible things. Hold your head high” One of my closest friends Johnathan who passed away November 17th of 2019 knew thats one thing I struggled with. He told me over and over “Keep your head up, you are a badass and a walking power house.” He told me other positive affirmations to tell myself over and over. Thats what I’ve done and continue to do. But it still takes work and practice. As does everything else in life.
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