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Temper Tantrum

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Why?…”

I repeated this in the downpour yesterday

Walking from practice hadn’t been an issue before now

This was different

I was saddened but so FUCKING angry

I could do nothing but scream

I was incapacitated

From the exasperation of my lungs

Which pushed words I never said

The harm that I have engraved on my arms and legs every hateful thought I had thought in my bed

Before I go to sleep

it’s so hard to fucking eat

these healed scars are starting to bleed

but no one has asked me

are you have alright

how are you feeling

can you sleep at night

how are the voices that you’re hearing this in the downpour

I think of every restricting thing

Then I scream more

I think of all conflicting thing

Then I scream more

I think of all self convicting things

Then I scream more

My lips are sore

My lungs have torn

But I’m numb to the physical feeling I’ve just endured

I let the last of my shouts sound

Now I’m at my house

It’s back to silence I rest my lisps

And wring clothes out.


One Reply to “Temper Tantrum”

  1. egbumblebee says:

    Ugh, this really really sits with me. Especially, “i was saddened but so fucking angry” such a simple way to describe something that has felt indescribable to me.
    Hope you’re doing ok 🙂


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