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sorry i havent been around in awhile. i have been fighting a lot with different people to get things i need to help me with my illnesses. so my school would not accept my hamster and for the first few weeks i thought it was because they just didnt want him to be there. i find out it was my doctors fault and she had been avoiding my calls and it was making me very annoyed i learned that she told them i didnt need it when i made it very clear that this is something that i need. so now i am back at school i have a new doctor and i am going to work on getting my hamster in my room at school for the mean time he is living with my boyfriend in his condo and having a great time.
another thing that has happened since being diagnosed with panic disorder is that i had my worst panic attack in a year. i was at my cousins wedding and those of you who have panic disorder being around alot of people isnt really the best type of situation to be in. so i am sitting there and then all of a sudden i start to feel nauseous and shaky. my skin started to get really hot and i couldnt breath. i knew i needed to get out of the situation so i got up because it was communion and i fainted. all i remember and standing up and after that i remember nothing till i got to the back of the church. i cried for about 2 hours just in shock that it just happened. all i could do was say how i ruined the wedding and how it was all my fault. knowing a panic attack could be triggered by almost anything is really scary i hate thinking that something like this could happen again today is my first day of class and i am ready to start school again and post every week i will post another one later today talking about my plans for the year but this one was just a quick update on what was going on in my life.

3 Replies to “update”

  1. victoriad says:

    I hope everything works out with your hamster and that your new doctor will understand more of who you are as a person. Having your hamster seems really important to you and I admire your fight to have him with you because a pet can make worlds of difference. I also really admire your strength to start this new school year. Having panic attacks aren’t easy and knowing that anything can trigger them without fully understanding why can be difficult; I believe that you will get through your panic attacks with the help of your strength and ambition.

  2. RaiC says:

    Hey Kelly,

    I def hope everything works out with your hamster. Having it around really means a lot to you, so I hope your doctor can make it happen. It’s really annoying that you found out that your DR. was going behind your back.. maybe she doesn’t truly understand how much having the hamster helps relieve a lot of your anxiety. Maybe it would be a good idea to sit down and talk to her. Also, don’t blame yourself and say that your ruined the wedding. Your panic attack was unplanned and this is a first for you, considering you’ve just been diagnosed. Try not to be so hard on yourself.. especially about things that you can’t control. I’m certain that your safety is everyone’s priority & when you fainted, everyone rushed to your aid. I hope that you’re ok! At least now you kind of know what to expect and you can prepare for when you feel an attack coming on. It’s a learning process so dont beat yourself up over it. I hope your first day went well! Cant wait to hear about it.

  3. Kevin A. says:

    Hey Kelly,

    That’s not good. I’m really sorry to hear about the panic attack you had but I hope you are doing much better now. How has it been, now that you are back in school?

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