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When Your Roommate is being a B#@&!

What do you do if your roommate is a jerk? You have to live with this person for the rest of the school year and they totally suck. It can be really stressful knowing you have to see someone you know isn’t your favorite and more than that reside in the same small room that is your dorm. My friend called me the other day upset about some comments her roommate made, which were not nice in any way. But the problem with confrontation in this situation is you don’t want to cause more tension when you know it would be better just to let it go so the living situation doesn’t get uncomfortable. Sometimes he or she will end up being your best friend and other times that is simply not the case. How are you feeling about your roommate?

4 Replies to “When Your Roommate is being a B#@&!”

  1. Sara says:

    This is a tough one. In situations like this, I can see how it can be easy to feel stuck. I’m at home right now and my current roommate is my family. My sister can really push me over the edge sometimes and sometimes we are all good. Living with people can sometimes be iffy. I think it depends on how much their behavior is bothering you. If it is really bothering you, I think you should say something. There is no reason you should have to suffer in silence! You deserve to live in a good environment especially when you have school to worry about. I feel like it would be like one less thing to worry about.

  2. Valerie says:

    When I went to visit my friend at school last semester, I was quite surprised when I saw her living space.

    She was originally living in a double with a roommate/friend she made her Sophomore year. However, during the second semester of her Junior year, her living situation went sour. Her roommate made it so difficult for her to live in the same dorm, that she ended up moving out and slept on an air mattress in another friend’s single. It was a tight living space, but they made it work and she survived the semester.

    Hopefully, your friend does not have to deal with a situation like that! I think the best way to handle these situations is to discuss what’s going on when everyone is more calm and that might mean someone crashing in someone else’s dorm for a few nights or trying to be in the dorm when the other isn’t. If it is too unbearable and unsolvable to fix verbally, I would recommend she discuss this with a campus staff member and arrangements can be made for moving into a different dorm.
    No one should be dealing with a situation like that though. Students pay to live in those dorms, they shouldn’t have to pay to suffer.

  3. Sara says:

    Wow it seems like to a lot of people living with other people can be stressful!!

  4. RaiC says:

    Roomates can be great or can completely suck!

    I had to deal with both situations, but I realized my best way on handling things was to talk about stuff. It’s all about setting ground rules and making sure that the shared space is respected & tolerable. AT one point, I stuck to the silence & literally kept all of my things on my side. I hid snacks, my remote, and left things a certain way when I left the room so I would know if something was changed or missing. I was def petty about the situation but I know that I can come off a bit aggressive or careless when im frustrated or annoyed, so I kept to myself until I had enough, and found the voice and tone to say things. Fortunate for me, our dorm was huge & I did not have to see her as often bc she went off campus a lot. It was my excuse for not talking and it later bit me in the butt when she did things that I did not like.. so it just makes more sense to speak on things before they get to that point.

    Coming into college and being a young adult, means stepping out of the comfort zone most time and dealing with things that we would otherwise not want to, so this is something that I had to work on. The most uncomfortable thing for me is to not speak up on things that are bothering me and its honestly not fair to your friend who has to let things go, just for peace sake. If she doesn’t feel comfy talking directly to her roomate, especially if she’s already upset, maybe she can talk to her RA… afterall that is what they are there for. I was one in college and roommate conflict is very common so her RA shouldn’t be surprised. I usually would recommend a room swap with someone on the floor if the situation gets too tough or I would mediate to figure out the issue. Sometimes its simple.. personalities just dont work together and sometimes its ridiculous.. all stemming from a time a roommate used a swiffer without the other’s permission.

    Tell your friend to stay positive

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