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Therell shares some advice for new high school and college students. Good luck to everyone this school year!

A couple months ago I graduated from community college.  I wanted to talk a little about my college experience, so as Mario would say, here we go!

I took many classes throughout my four years of college, and there are only two that stand out as my favorites.  Those classes would be Public Speaking and General Psychology 2.  The environment in those classes were very good, from my fellow classmates to the professors; it was a good experience all around.

About half of my time at college was in person while the other half was online due to COVID.  While I enjoyed being in person very much as I am someone who craves social interaction, the downside was that my grades weren’t the best.  I had to retake classes a couple times and there were classes that I barely passed.  However, the move to online classes helped out my grades tremendously.  I earned a lot more A’s and it brought my GPA up quite a bit.

During the in-person portion of my time at college, I made a lot of connections.  I got along with nearly everyone that I met and I made some good memories with them.  Unfortunately, when COVID hit, I fell out of contact with all of them.  

Other positives about my college experience would be that there were a lot of support services to help me pass my classes.  If I didn’t have those support services, I may not have passed those classes that I mentioned in which I barely passed.  It was also pretty affordable; I don’t have any student loans to pay back.

Now I want to talk about some of the benefits of a community college.  For one, you can have a pretty flexible schedule.  I always scheduled my classes when it was convenient for me, and it always worked out. 

You can also live at home if you’d like, which is what I did.  Or, you can live close to campus.  Since I lived at home, I took public transportation to get to school; the train and then a bus.  I didn’t mind this at all as I looked forward to going to (most of) my classes so the train and bus rides were a breeze.

Lastly, as mentioned before, it is quite affordable.  And, you can transfer your credits to a 4 year school.

Overall, I would give my college experience a 7/10, which is much higher than what I would give my elementary, middle, and high school experiences.  Even though I mostly enjoyed my time at college, I probably would not do it all again, as I feel I am done with school (for now at least), and am ready to enter the world of working.

Time management is something that I have always struggled with. I tend to take on more than I can handle at once and time certainly doesn’t help in that matter.

Having good time management skills allows you to give yourself a break when you’re becoming worn down. We need these skills to survive. Without them, we’d find ourselves struggling much more. Poor time management skills can lead to trouble sleeping, increased stress and anxiety but for some it can lead to depression. Developing these skills can allow you to overcome these obstacles and can even lead to a more positive attitude.

Recently, I have really struggled with managing my time. Between two jobs and going back to school, it’s overwhelming but I’m managing as best as I can. My jobs are easy to manage but school can be pretty tough to juggle on top. I find myself trying to deal with everything at once instead of taking the time to work on each task.

I spent last week deciding whether it was more important to get my project done or tasks for work. Honestly, I felt like I had to make a choice. I didn’t think I could manage the time very well (this was me overthinking). It was a struggle trying to balance both. I put my project first, but because of this, I lost a lot of sleep trying to finish up my work tasks. Thankfully, I began this week with a better mind set and a plan, now I feel much better.

The best advice I can give you is to learn to manage your time. Remember to give yourself a break when you need it. Find time in your day to just breathe. You absolutely deserve it. Having good time management skills will get you through life, I promise!

What are you doing to better manage your time?

Read Jessica Schrader’s article Developing Time Management Skills to learn how to find more time in your day!

Check out this post about Time Management here on TurningPointCT!

I can totally relate to this quote, because often times I have found myself wanting to accomplish so many things yet I sit there wondering why I can’t get ANYTHING done. When reflecting back on why I think that was, I can only think of one common factor when this has occurred each time- I had been limiting my own success and achievements. At the end of the day, we are the only ones who are in charge of how far we will go and how hard we will work, but in order to first start the process of seriously kicking ass in life, we must commit to lifting our foot and putting in the proper work! It isn’t easy, and some days will be better than others. With that being said, there will be days that you will want to quit, or may feel like the entire world is against you. What I have learned through my journey is that we don’t ever have to quit, as much as our minds want us to, this is never the answer. We can feel better if we slow our pace, deciding to take things a little slower. Whether it be taking less classes during a semester at school, handling less sports at a time, or anything that you can find relevant to your personal situation, the point is that you can still move forward even if you are moving at a slower pace. Choose to begin the process of lifting your foot today and fight to kick some life ass! 🙂

We have a new story on our stories page!

“I became aware of my possible depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder in high school…Once I allowed myself to be vulnerable with the universe, and more specifically my therapist, I noticed gradual changes in my psyche…”

Click this link to read more of Marco’s story

Hey guys! April is stress awareness month.
Stress is something we all cope with, some of us cope more effectively than others, and some us us have more manageable amounts of stress than others.
So, lets check in!
On a scale of 1-5 (1 being not stressed and 5 being losing it stressed) how stressed are you?? What’s going on?
And on a scale of 1-5 (1 being coping really badly, and 5 being coping super well) how well are you coping?? What are you doing?

I’ll go first.
On a scale of 1-5, I am teetering between a 4 and a 5. I have a lot of days that feel unmanageable.
My stress levels make sense to me in the context of my life right now. I just moved a few months ago (still not unpacked), I am full time at school (almost done for the summer!!), working 2 part time jobs, and of course, motherhood- which doesn’t stress me out itself, it’s feeling like I am missing out on my child’s life that is stressful. But, then I have amazing days, like yesterday, I took a mental health day and stayed home from school after staying up until 4 am doing homework. Why? Because I needed to. And I didn’t feel bad.
How well am I coping? I would say between a 2 & 3. More days I’m a 2. I’m not falling back into all my old coping skills, but I’m not on top of myself and using coping skills or self care the way I know I should. But, then I have better days and remember it’s not the worst thing I’ve lived through and it’s not forever!

So, after all that, how about you guys?? This is your chance to check in with yourself and let a little steam out if you’re feeling stressed!
Also, I found this really cool site. So, if you are feeling really stressed and are having a hard time, check this out.

Guys, check out this awesome video!

“From award-winning documentary filmmaker Arthur Cauty, comes Faces of Mental Health, a short film which challenges stigma and encourages open conversation around mental illness and suicide in young people.

Students in Bristol were offered a space to open up and share their thoughts and personal experiences of mental illness and suicide, with a view to encouraging people of all ages and backgrounds across the country and around the World to step forward and speak out.”

It’s on vimeo, and definitely worth a watch and a share!!

Check out the video here on vimeo

Hi everyone! We have a new April Feature up!

On Saturday April 6th Eliza, Ally, and 10 teens from Norwalk and Fairfield completed an escape room at The Panic Room in Norwalk! It was really fun, and we finished with a few minutes to spare!! Stay tuned to see what next months free wellness activity for SMART Teen Norwalk will be!!

Until then, check out our feature here! 

February 17th is Random Acts of Kindness Day! That’s this Sunday!

In celebration of this day I wanted to share a video and ask a question.

The video is on Youtube, here Random Acts Of Kindness

And this is my question: what was on time that kindness had a profound affect on you? It could have been something kind you did or something kind someone else did for you.

A couple weeks ago when I was surveying for the Youth Count I walked out of Dunkin Donuts to see an adult man sitting outside asking for change. Having been in his shoes not so long ago my heart ached for him, I wanted him to understand that he was understood and cared about. I wanted him to feel as though the weight of the world was not on his shoulders. That he was important, valuable. Anyways, I ended up going back and fourth in my head about what to do for a few minutes while I was inside. When I went to left I sat down next to him. I told him that I didn’t have any change and that I was sorry, but that I had been in his shoes before and I wanted him to know that I cared about him, even though I didn’t know him. We talked for a few minutes, and I felt so, so connected to him. I felt as though he did not frequently have experiences of being treated humanely by others. He looked deeply into my eyes and said thank you before I left, and it just struck me so much. It made me both happy and sad. But I know that we both had an affect on each other that day. That’s what kindness is to me! An exchange, a moment when caring for another person makes you feel just as loved. It’s a special thing.
So, how about you guys?

Hey guys! It’s 2019!
Pretty cool, kinda.

Some people seem to really care about New Years, it signifies a time to reflect and commit to change. Other people think it’s BS. And some don’t really care too much!

However you feel about New Years, it’s always good to reflect on time that’s passed and recognize strides that you have made.
My favorite quote when I was in the midst of a lot of struggles was,

“I may not be where I want to be but thank God I’m not where I used to be”

We don’t have to leap from ditches to mountain tops to recognize our power and strength. And sometimes it’s not even steps that deserve recognition, sometimes it’s staying right where you are, because it can be really hard to not fall backward, and good enough is good enough.

This New Years Eve, I laid in bed next to Willow while she slept and realized the changes that occurred over the past year. I thought about the pain, fear, and excitement I felt, and how hopeless I was at times. I realized how far I have come by looking back for a few moments. And it felt good, and it made me feel proud of myself. And I didn’t feel bad saying that.

So, what are you guys proud of from 2018?

I’m proud of myself for starting school, taking the leap to “real” employment and beginning the process of getting off of disability and SSI, moving, admitting to myself and a few friends that I was depressed, sticking with my path even when it was scary and painful and uncertain, trying every day to be a good mom, working hard, getting certified as a SMART recovery facilitator, Recovery Coach, and a Recovery Support Specialist, starting the path to getting my licence, and beginning to throw away things that I don’t need.

Let’s congratulate each other on our success in being here, even when it’s really hard work.

Hey guys!
New Years is almost here! Isn’t that crazy?! It’s almost 2019!
That means winter break is coming!! Maybe it’s even started for you already!

So, what’s your favorite thing to do on winter break? What are you looking forward to?

I won’t be back in school until the end of January, so I’m looking forward to SLEEP!! I’m also looking forward to taking some time off with Willow, and doing a few nerdy holiday things before Christmas. Hopefully we get one nice snow day, too!

How about you guys?

What are your top three favorite songs right now?

Within the last week or so, I’ve become obsessed with a few “new” songs (new to me haha) and so I’ve gone through the ritual of replacing my go-to songs with some new “obsessions”.

Right now I’m listening to…
1. Idle Town by Conan Gray click here

2. Crush by Tessa Violet click here

3. When The Party’s Over by Billie Ellish click here

I’m sure a lot of you have seen or heard about Jamel Myles.

He is the nine year old boy from Colorado who committed suicide after coming out and being tormented by bullies. He had been bullied the year prior by the same kids, however this year, it took only four days of suffering at school for Jamel to decide to end his own life to escape the pain. He had just come out to his family and friends over the summer, and his mom said that he was happy to come out to his classmates, because he was proud of himself. Instead, Jamel was told to kill himself by his bullies.

The fact that a child could be so tormented that he decides he does not want to be alive anymore is heartbreaking. It’s sickening and tragic and horrific. And it brings me to a level of pain for two reasons.

When I was twelve, I tried to commit suicide multiple times. The most serious was in a psychiatric hospital, where in my bathroom at 2 am I hung myself with a pair of pants and woke up in a emergency room.

As a person who has struggled with mental illness for all of my adolescence and for a great deal of my childhood- I understand that pain. I understand the urge to end your life. I have felt the pain that Jamel was in. I feel the fear of death, dulled by a overwhelming desire to escape a pain I did not understand would one day feel so far away.
And as a mother, who fears above all else, that my daughter will one day struggle with the same things I have- I cannot begin to imagine the pain and deep, unbearable despair his mom, Leia must be experiencing. Truly, I cannot even try to imagine it without feeling as though I may burst into tears. While I understand the pain and desperation that fueled Jamel’s suicide, as a mom and an adult- I know what often drives suicide is a need to escape a pain that will not last forever. And that the impulse to escape overrides fear of death, love of your family, and any other logic or feeling that could stop you from ending your life. But when your young- especially as young as nine- pain seems like it is inescapable.

I am so, so sad for Jamel and his family.

And I am so hurt that bully is so prevalent that it brought a child to end his life, after only four days back at school.

R.I.P. Jamel

Check out this 21 day anxiety challenge from popsugar! What better time to practice new ways to cope? With school starting, lets commit to our self care! Whos going to take the challenge with me?

So, most people are going to be starting school THIS week!!
Still, we know Summer won’t really end right away either- with Labor Day and warm nights still to look forward to- it also may be nice to look forward to a routine again, or maybe not.
The beginning of a new school year is kind of like New Years- we all have goals, hopes, and plans- maybe to study more, be happier, or stress less.

What are your goals for this school year?

I’d like to manage my time well, keep ahead of my anxiety and manage it well, practice self care, keep a good perspective- this is not the end of the world, the way I do does not define me, nothing is “un-do-able”. And of course, I’d like to do well in my classes. (Abnormal psychology and mindfulness in literature)

Let’s talk about our goals!!

August is almost over… HOW?!

It’s almost time to kiss Summer goodbye, and say hello to wonderful, amazing Fall!
I love the Summer, but I love the Fall so much.
Still, even though I love the Fall, and I’m no longer in High School, the end of Summer gives me a knot in my stomach… I get so nervous and anxious, no doubt because school was so anxiety provoking for me as a child and teenager, and Fall often meant depression, anxiety, hospitals… a lot of pain.
With time, my love for Fall is beginning to come back into the forefront when I realize Summer is nearly over- but I still cannot escape the dull lull of anxiety that sits within my and grows bigger as leaves begin to change and nights become long.
It’s also kind of sad!

So, how do you guys feel? Are you happy/sad/nervous/etc? What does Fall mean to you and what are your plans this Fall?
If you struggle with this time of year, what specifically do you struggle with? What makes it better?

We are here for you all during this seasonal transition and transition back to school!

Watch vloggers Fatima, Ashley, and Bryanna (FAB), who are students at Brien McMahon High School. Fatima and Bryanna are at The Chill Out Lounge, TurningPointCT.org’s activity room at Norwalk High School’s Week of Wellness. We had stations of different sensory items and activities to “chill out”! Enjoy!

And, thank you Fatima and Bryanna for sharing your vlog with us! Welcome to TurningPointCT.org!

If you want to talk to them, leave feedback, or start a conversation here is their forum post! 

I am a perfectionist.

Many people may believe that perfectionism is a good quality to have. Yet those who live with unrealistic standards and crippling anxiety understand the plight of someone who sets standards they cannot possibly reach, and the sorrow of the continuous failure and disappointment they must deal with when they believe everything must always be perfect. This is what it feels like to be a perfectionist…

When I was a little girl, I had so many ideas about what my life was supposed to be like. I thought everything had to be perfect; especially me. I had a carefully arranged and thoroughly thought out plan of what perfect was. When things deviated from that, I fell apart.
As I got older, it became harder and harder to live up to the expectations I had created for myself. People rarely lived up to my ideals. Slowly, this began to break me.
It was strange, the way I fell apart; in many ways, my demise was self-created. Yet, even with a sense of recognition, I could not stop myself. It was a cycle that I had made with my own two hands, stepped in willingly, but could not find the strength to jump out of. My brain had begun to betray me at a young age and has not stopped since.

I remember being in Elementary school, and deciding quite concretely what it took to be ‘successful’, which was synonymous with being ‘good enough’.

I had to get good grades, which meant I had to get all A’s because being good enough wasn’t good enough and in order to succeed, I had to be the best. When I graduated High School with my perfect grades, I had to go to college. But not just college; I had to go to Harvard. I had to follow the expectations I had set, and thrive within the pressure cooker I had built around myself. If I faltered in even small ways, it was a massive, unforgivable failure on my part. And worse than failure was being a disappointment, which was, by all means, the absolute worst thing I could do.

Unfortunately, the world did not follow the standards I expected it to, and I felt powerless to change it. I could not stop my mom from dropping me off to school late every single day, yet I still cried like a baby and yelled that I would never go to college if I couldn’t get to second grade on time. People would put things back in the ‘wrong’ place, and I would crumble. I, like everyone in the world, would lose control constantly. Yet, unlike the rest of my peers, I seemed unable to swallow this and move forward without first falling to the floor in a puddle of tears, or hitting my head against a wall, or screaming and screaming until my little lungs cracked and burned.
As I got older, I began to reason that if things were imperfect, out of my control, or lower than my standards, that rather than accepting the loss of control and disappointment, I would willingly fail. Willingly handing over my power was easier than having it fall from my grip, despite my efforts.

Now, I am no longer a little girl.

I still struggle with the expectation of perfection I unconsciously set for myself. Yet, consciously I fight the notion and try to set new standards.
If I ever spoke to Willow the way I used to speak to myself, my heart would shatter into a million pieces. If she ever spoke to or thought of herself in the way I used to think of myself, I don’t believe I could carry the sadness that would veil my heart. So instead of teaching her to love herself, I will learn how to love myself. She will watch her mom be kind and forgiving to herself, see how she accepts the ebbs and flows of life, and witness her open her palms to the universe to receive what is handed to her. And with time, she too will do the same.

My mom and me in my Great Aunts’ house in Jacksonville, FL.

Me, in my favorite hat

My anxiety due to the high standards I constantly set for myself peaked in my freshman year of High School

My beautiful daughter, who is and will always be perfect simply for being herself

What is your dream job? Remember in elementary school when someone asked what you wanted to be and nothing held you back? Lawyer, astronaut, president, doctor, princess, firefighter; anything seemed possible at that time in our lives.
All throughout middle school and the beginning of high school, I used to dream about being a pediatric oncologist. Then, I slowly but surely stopped believing in myself. I convinced myself that that was not possible. I told myself I wasn’t smart enough, didn’t have enough time or money for school, wasn’t good at school, etc.
So, what is you REAL dream job? Is it still your goal? If not, why?
What’s holding you back from reaching your dreams?

This is the first moment in the last 24(ish) hours that I’ve sat down and actually formed a thought. In between putting on my “socialization doesn’t scare me” costume, Christmas shopping, wrapping Christmas gifts, and studying for a giant test that I have to take tomorrow, I haven’t had a true moment to myself to reflect on my week and my peaks and pits.

So here it goes.

This week (month/year) hasn’t been easy. I’ve been swimming through an ocean of stress, which stems from my school anxiety, my lack of organization, the weather changing. I haven’t been my best me. There are all kinds of changes happening in my life right now and I am struggling to find any kind of constant. This is an everlasting cycle that has occurred for 23 years. I stress, I search for a constant, I find a constant, I get attached to my constant, something gets in the way of that constant, I stress. It repeats. On and on.
I have a mountain of homework that I can’t find any motivation to do.

I am almost done with classes in my Master’s program. This is terrifying. I don’t know how to not be a student. I may not be the best, but all my life, I have always been a student. My identity is changing and I don’t know the best way to deal with that.

My peaks:
I am going to start by getting out of bed every day, rather than hiding like I usually do. I am going to dance twice this week, which is making my heart happy just to think about. There is one month until Christmas, my favorite holiday. Almost all of my Christmas shopping is done.

This week, Eliza said to me, “You are going to be the best teacher.”. I bought Sophia and I Ugly Christmas Sweaters and we are going to be the hit of Christmas Eve. I’ve spent time with family that I don’t get to see often, and I was reminded of how proud I am of my last name. I’ve held three babies this week. I am going to see my favorite nephew man tomorrow afternoon. The butterflies I get just by seeing your face.

This coming week, I am going to focus more on my peaks than my pits. And to you, my reader, I encourage you to focus more energy on your peaks than your pits. Because the peaks will always outweigh the pits. And as always, if you need help finding a peak, I will happily give you one of mine. Remember how important you are in this world. Remember that you are here for a reason, that you are strong and powerful. Remember how much this world needs you in it.

Does anybody go to school AND work? Full time or part time for both? I am always amazed at how people can balance both. I really want to go back to school this semster- but with a new part time job I wonder if I could make it work? How do those of you who do this make it work? What are three tips for somebody struggling through this or wanting to begin both?

It was another hard week. It moved slowly yet quickly, and I struggled to catch up with myself almost every step of the way.
I met with my psychiatrist on Tuesday. We talked about starting medication again. It was a continuance of an ongoing conversation; one I will probably never stop having with my providers.
When I got pregnant I was taking a handful of different medications. Each did something different, and supposedly they held hands and worked together to safely guide me through my days. I didn’t really know how they made me feel. It was hard to tell if they helped or not, and which ones worked: or if only one worked and the rest simply hid behind one another. When I decided to keep Willow it was clear that I had to come off of all my medications.
So, for the first time in nearly ten years I was raw. I had had periods of not being medicated in the past, but these were short-lived and unsupervised.
Being pregnant and un-medicated was Hell. Not just for me, but for everyone around me. When I reached a peak of suffering, I ‘gave in’. I know, really, I was only doing what was best for me and Willow; the stress I was under was worse than what any medication could have probably done to her. The relief I felt from only a little bit of Zoloft was almost miraculous. For the first time in almost 7 months, I finally began to enjoy my pregnancy.
After giving birth, I was on a cloud; I was incredible, strong, and resilient, I was a powerful woman, and needed nothing. I was in awe of my perfect, precious baby. Seeing her in person made her seem so much more fragile. How could I take medication while breastfeeding, not knowing the potential risk? Besides, I felt amazing. So once again, I stopped taking my medication because I thought it was what was best for my daughter. Almost nine months later, I am still not taking any medication.
But I wonder sometimes. Is this really the right thing? I know I could feel better than I do, that taking a small dose of something would probably lift me up a little, relieve me of some of my anxiety; of the obsessive thoughts and worrying I have about Willow. But what would it do to her? Her brain is still developing-what would messing with her serotonin levels do to her? Once I start down that road of thoughts- I have to shut myself down. Instantly, I begin to worry, to panic. I get a headache and my eyes feel heavy. The unknown is too much for me. Maybe the stress I feel every day is worse for Willow than an antidepressant creeping into my breastmilk. Maybe it’s fine. But what about the vast grey area of the unknown? The area where I’m falling and falling, and reaching for something to grab hold of- but can never quite grasp? That space is too frightening for me. As scary as life is sometimes for me right now, that area is much more terrifying. So my doctor and I decided that right now I’m ok without medication, I’m not as good as I can be, but I’m ok. I’m in a place where having control over whether or not I take the medication is ok. And that feels good to know. Still, some days I’m unsure.
Am I being the best mom I can be? Am I damaging my amazing daughter? How much of my anxiety is she picking up on, and what is it doing to her?

Yesterday, I cried in front of a stranger. I didn’t mean to; The tears had been building for a few minutes- but I kept catching them. Snatching them and stuffing them down as quickly as I could. But as I sat in front of a guidance counselor at NCC, talking about school, and time, and energy; things I don’t currently have enough of; I could do little to hold back my intense sadness. I cried for a moment, then moved on; embarrassed of how crazy and out of control I must have looked to her. I knew she was probably judging me. Thinking about what a poor, uneducated, helpless young mother I must be. My poor child.

As I sat in the cold waiting for my bus, with Willow sleeping on my chest, my sadness grew. I thought of my life. The life I had before my pregnancy, and the life I was supposed to live; or at least the one I expected to live. Not the part of succumbing to my mental illness, but the fantasy and hope I had, that one day, I would get better. I imagined going to school, having some fun, making money. Building myself up so that one day, I would be able to grow up and have a family. Then I thought about how none of that was possible anymore, at least not how I had wished it would be.

I couldn’t sit in a dorm room with my peers and do homework, and smoke weed, and go to class; couldn’t save up for silly vacations or go on road trips; I had to rush back “home” to make my 6 o’clock curfew. I had to give my daughter a bath and put her to bed; take community college courses one by one, while working, and raising Willow. I have to throw aside my selfish wants and needs and drudge forward for the well-being of my child.

In that moment, I regretted becoming a mother. Not because I hate it, or because I don’t love Willow with every force within me; but because I wasn’t ready for motherhood. And I had to sit with the sadness of knowing I had committed to a life-long task I wasn’t prepared to take on. Knowing that I can’t turn back, or press pause, or share the weight of Willows life with anyone but myself. And again, I cried. In front of many strangers. Except this time I couldn’t wonder what they must have been thinking because I was too full of sorrow.

When I got on the bus I called my brother. He and I went through Hell and back with one another. The Hell I’m referring to is our childhood. But he had a separate burden to bear. One that I had the privilege of ignoring. That burden was watching me self-destruct. Nonetheless, he never once left my side; even though I accused him of doing so many times, even though I tried to push him away and lock him out, and even though at many times, I was a horrible sister.
He made me feel better. Not just because he spoke in an Australian accent and made fun of Trump. He and I are proof that even the most traumatic and damaging childhoods do not have to ruin a person. That despite prolonged suffering, a hurt child can still grow into an intelligent and kind adult.
And that reminded me of another thing, although I’m “not where I (want) to be, (at least) I’m not where I used to be” (Joyce Meyer). In the past years, I have grown tremendously. I remember in my adolescence, one of my best friends told me, in a very serious but loving way, that she felt certain one day I would kill myself. That was not the last time somebody told me they were prepared to mourn my death. And I knew, too, that one day I would die, and I felt certain it would be by suicide.
That girl is no longer me, I know she still lives deeply inside, sad, and scared, but she no longer greets me in the mirror. I have made progress in my life I would have never imagined possible, and come to a place I dreamed of several years ago. So while I know where I want to go, and know there is a long way to go until I get there, I find peace in the knowledge that I can look back and see the tremendous mountain I have managed to make it up. I know that it won’t be long before I can look down again, and bask at the progress I made. That will make me a better woman, and a better mother. And although my life won’t ever be perfect, it can be good, and I won’t stop until it is.

Willow Bear thanks you for reading this week!

I’m SO excited to be going back to college!

But since it’s been 7 years.. I was hoping you guys could help..

I love school supply shopping (basically anything with a cat on it, I’ll buy it and find a use for it), but I remember when I was in college seven years ago, I ended up purchasing a bunch of supplies that I ended up not needing, especially because SO much is online now-a-days.

So I’m wondering, what are the essentials that I could get, besides a notebook and a pen? I have my laptop which will be a huge help, but I’m also the type of person that loves writing things down. Should I wait until classes start to feel out what I should get, then do my shopping? Maybe it’s my eagerness and love for shopping that’s causing me to be impatient lol

What are YOU doing to prep for the back to school season?

I know I’m not the only one shopping for clothes too! (I also am focusing more on bags and accessories lol)

That was quick… one month feels like one week.

But for now, nothing beats the feeling of getting back to the classroom. I’m really curious about what this semester will bring. Last semester ended just how I would have wanted it to. But with just a day to last from the classroom scuffle, I’m sweating my way back to school. Text books, ID’s, Schedules and what not, this small transition feels like an entire application process in itself.

Anyways, I’m good with my registrations, I just need to step foot into my first class of Spring 2017. The good thing is that I am finally going to be studying economics, back to business! I miss this course 🙁

🙂 And no other time in history has economics been more relevant. 🙂 …Well I am just exaggerating but to talk a little bit about my passion for this course – there is definitely more than sitting in the classroom constructing graphs and debating theories… its a measure of the breath we breathe to the projections that we make beyond our galaxy. And that’s why I love school so much and especially economics, problem solving keeps my adrenaline flowing.

Anyways back to the excitement, so I have some goals set for this semester. To point out a few:

1) I want to join a club

2) I also need to attend more on-campus events – From what I saw last semester, Norwalk Community College has had the benefit of hosting some great speakers and moderating really great discussions on topical issues.

3) And I want to finish this semester with all the classes that I have registered for.

These are all realistic goals and I’m very sure, achievable. I’m ready for it, so wish me well guys :).

So semester one has finally come to its long anticipated end. I can finally relax and breath.

A sigh of relief from every night I stayed up to make sure that I get every ounce from this experience.

A sigh if relief from the perilous hurry to the bus stop to make sure that I make it to class in time (especially now that the snow is here).

A sigh of relief from having to pack my knapsack every morning. And a sigh of relief for a month long break from school, effective yesterday. ooohhhh Ahhhh!!!

This semester was an interesting one. I started the term with much worry. Full time school and technically, full time work. I was just making a full transition into my second job after a week long break at the end of August. And with class registrations, book rental, orientation, academic counseling and tuition deadlines… there was a lot going on.

On the very first day, halfway through getting acquainted with the new school, classroom, syllabus and grading system, I went home needing to complete a 5 page long essay – ‘Times New Romans’, font size: 12, double space, a citation page, a cover page – in one day, the professor didn’t mind that we were just getting to know each other. That was enough to keep me up after the first night. I ended my first week, contemplating the next week, the next month and how far through the semester I would actually make it.

I kept hearing my counselor in my head saying,

“If you feel you need to drop a class, don’t feel afraid to do so.”

But h*ll no, I wasn’t going to drop a class; I never have and I promised I never will. What ever it would take, I will finish the semester with 15 credits.
Four weeks in, the bells started ringing for midterms. Could this be the moment I finally heed to my counselor? H*ll no, Five classes I said, five classes it is and that’s exactly how it was. 5 exams + assignments, but I did it. I knew I would make it to the end of the semester and yes I did.

Still, one thing that I was especially worried about was my mental state. I never stopped thinking about how I felt inside could play out in the way I performed. It was a constant bother. And there are times when I hit a brick wall and I said

“No I cant!”

But the next day I was up and at it again. I never gave up! I never skipped an appointment with my doctor and I maintained connection with the right people. My counselors, always says,

“Work hard, but don’t loose track of your self,”

And the depth of these words have become a life lesson. It’s really crucial that regardless of the challenges that erupt throughout your journey, make sure that your life means something and as Viktor Frankl would agree,

“Suffering without meaning is despair.”

And I will expound on this great philosopher some more in the future.

But to end this week and as I drift towards the end of this year, I am feeling accomplished. If there is nothing else in my life that I can be proud of, it is that I am extremely proud that I made the right decision and went back to school.

Introducing Our Newest Blogger: Kelly! – Learn more about Kelly and join her in discussion as she talks about life in college and dealing with anxiety, depression and OCD in her blog, “Daily Life as a College Student.”

She recently shared her inspiring story, which you can find HERE or at https://turningpointct.org/story/kelly-r/. In her story, Kelly tells us about her past and some of her future plans as she sets out to complete college and help other young adults who are struggling with mental illness.

“From getting through a panic attack to resisting the urge to do more than she really should, Kelly has been forthright about her everyday college experience and all the challenges that comes with being a passionate and dedicated student.”

Back to school seems to be the hot topic right now because everyone is finally settling in for the beginning of the school year.
When I was in high school, we were given planners to write down homework, but I used it for so much more. In college, we had them too, but I do know not all schools offer them for free.
If your school does not give out academic planners, I recommend investing in one. I am a person who needs to write everything down to function, so having the planner kept me on track.
Teachers are often posting assignments online and sometimes it can be a little chaotic if we don’t have access to the internet or if the teacher changes the due date for the project.

I loved having a planner too because I could set small goals each day to accomplish a certain amount of the work that needed to get done over the course of a month. Also, it was a great reminder if there is a club going on or an event planned far in advance…it can be marked up.

What are some other tools you are using to help you stay on track?