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I was sexually abused by my step father for 9 years. Starting from when I was 11 years old and continued until I was 20 years old. My biggest struggle was that because he took me in, I had to do what he said. Nothing is free in this world, and you have to pay a price to eat, buy clothes, go out and have fun. So I started working at age 14, but even then he would find a way to make me do what he wanted. He was two different people. In the day he was a father, to my brothers and sisters and me. But at night he was this person that would tell me, he is a man and I am a woman and that’s what adults do . I started paying rent and buying my own things just so it could stop and it did for a few months but then one night he got drunk and came into my room, I was 20 years old. That night I left his house. He was my father and my own father hurt me…. There was no turning back, I was to afraid to tell my brothers and sisters. And when I was leaving he said he would kill himself if I told them…. I never said a word to my family.
I didn’t have support I turned my back on all my family. Shortly after that I found a church that helped me to cope with my anger and sadness without asking so many questions. It helped me to forgive him and move on. I went back to my family, and my step dad asked me to forgive him.
After I reconnected with my family, I felt less lost and I felt a sense of peace. I knew I was stronger and I felt stronger. I found a person that accepted me and worked with me through my issues . At that point I felt like things were looking up.
I am happily married and I am pregnant. I couldn’t be happier to start my new family with a man that loves me and I him. I graduated Cal State Fullerton with my BA in Criminology. I work with at risks students and I love it. I am working towards being a great mother to my kid and raise him with what I never had.
I would tell them to never give up. You choose your future, And no one deserves to take away your happiness. What helped me was to forgive. I wish I knew that what was happening to me and what I was doing with my Step dad was wrong and that I didn’t have to do it or stay quiet. I wish I told someone, Even if they wouldn’t have believed me. As a child you don’t owe anything to anyone and no one has the right to take your child hood that way. Speak out!
I found a church that helped me to cope with my anger and sadness without asking so many questions. It helped me to forgive him and move on.
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