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Bullying, self harm, depression.
Early in childhood, I had low self esteem. I remember being a shy awkward kid, always been smart. People teased me. My parents always put in my head that I was the prettiest & I could do anything I put my mind to, but others would treat me unfairly. I got picked on by the ‘popular’ people, most of them were not the best looking & people would still try to get with them all the time. When I got older, I moved out of state to a new home with my family & I made new friends & started misbehaving. I hung out with the wrong crowd & I got beat up in front of a group of girls, I was skipping school. My parents put me on medication and I started gaining weight, I felt more bad about myself. I got hospitalized in a center about 8 times. The first time I cut myself was when I was about 12, I think. I was also hearing voices at one point too. I was out of control, I have had about 3 or 4 therapists. I got made fun of by so many people even my own family members were putting me down. Sometimes my own parents would say stuff. Things changed for me when one day I turned to God & started praying. I started taking care of myself, having the courage to know, I deserve better than what ‘society’ puts me out to be. I am beautiful & I deserve the best.
I have had therapy for years but none of it ever worked. Things started to change when I helped myself. Prayer, affirmations, worked. My therapist now is helpful but after all it is all about the mindset at the end of the day. You have to help yourself & make sure your needs are met. Your responsible for your own happiness & life.
Realizing that I deserve better than the treatment I get from the people around me. I should not tolerate being mistreated. I deserve the best & I am blessed. Never lower my self worth & have high standards. Put God first.
I am currently in college working towards my degree in Diagnostic Medical Sonography. I am maintaining a more healthier lifestyle so I could be in shape/fit. I want to try out for Playboy in the future or maybe Suicidegirls (adult lifestyle brand). It has always been one of my dreams to be one of those girls. They all are beautiful.
Never give up because life is beautiful & so are you! Dreams do come true & you could accomplish anything you want, trust me. Have faith & believe in yourself.
Things started to change when I helped myself. I should not tolerate being mistreated.
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