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I have struggled with my husband's PTSD and the journey this disorder encompasses. I had lost myself along the way.
I have struggled with my husband’s PTSD and the journey this disorder encompasses. Struggles include the symptoms, verbal, mental, and emotional abuse, substance abuse, and keeping our family together.
He found a qualified therapist and medical providers who has helped him tremendously over the last two years. But I had lost myself along the way. Best described as me going on auto-pilot as his caregiver and being chained down to the roller coaster ride. Eventually, I found my own trauma focused therapist who helped me work through a lot of issues. She also taught me tools that I could use to care for myself, and better care for my husband. Because of her, my marriage is stronger than ever and we are both enjoying symptom remission and recovery for both he and I.
The turning point that was truly pivotal was me gaining the strength through therapy to give my husband the choice to take accountability for his substance abuse and self-destructive behavior or I would have no choice but to leave. I cannot control what others do or how they behave but I realized that I did have control over what I would allow in my, and my children’s lives. It was not an easy thing to do but I made the choice and meant it.
My life is completely different now. I am not living in fear anymore or feel like I am walking on eggshells. I used to experience severe panic attacks every time I would drive home from work and get closer to our home in fear of what may in store for me when I walked through the front door. Now I have peace in my heart and my family is happy, stable, and enriched with a love filled home.
Life can be very tough no matter what challenges you are facing. Keep positive and don’t give up. There are so many resources available. I would advise you to research everything you can about your situation and create a support system for yourself. This could be finding a new friend or leaning on family as support. Don’t do what I did for over a year and keep it all inside, only to suffer in silence. Doing so creates toxicity deep down and can cause your problems to get worse. Find a therapist that specializes in what your needs are. It’s never too late to begin therapy. Read other blogs revolving around your concerns. www.ptsdwifey.com is my blog that discusses PTSD and what the family goes through. It also gives help, hope, and enlightenment.
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