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Lauren’s Story: Breaking Free From my Abusive Dad

What have you struggled with? When did it become too much?

I struggle with my relationship with my father but it took a turning point when he started being abusive. He hit me in the back of my head and one time saw me naked in the shower, despite me telling him don’t come in, and stared at my body and specifically one part of my body. He also has a temper and is unpredictable. He often made statements saying I can make your life hard or as he said it,” a living hell”. He once pinning my little sister to the wall choking her and when I intervened by  jumping on his back he threw me into an exercising machine. Afterwards he told us we should be lucky our stepmother stopped him or he would have hurt us and if I tried to basically defend myself from him I would regret it. Whenever he calls I start shaking uncontrollably and loose my appetite. I’m scared for me and my sisters well being and wish I could stay with my mom.

What kind of support did you get at first? Did it work?

The only support I had was my sisters. We weren’t with my mom, the courts didn’t even bother talking to us, our own attorney had an attitude with us and the night we were taken from my mom she had my sister in a choke hold, my sister’s face turning red, over a phone that my sister put in her shirt that the attorney dug in my sister’s shirt to take, and my therapists eventually stopped talking to me, saying she couldn’t help me.

Were there any turning points where things really started to change for the better?

The only turning point is when he kicked me and my sister out and now me and my little sister live with my mom we he said our mom could have us back and now my mom is going to the courts so we can be with her. There is a paper where my mom and him make an agreement were we can visit both of them my mom is willing to sign it but he refuses despite us telling him it would be better.

What’s your life like now? What have you been able to accomplish, and what are you working towards?

My life now is bitter sweet in a way. I live with my mom now and since I left my father, my depression has decreased greatly but, still when I get calls or text from my father I start to shake uncontrollably and loose my appetite and even sometimes use the bathroom more. Having to wonder what will happen being back to that house and when it would happen and what will I do and how I can protect my little sister from our abusive dad.

What would you say to people who are having a tough time? What’s helped you that you wish you had known earlier

For anybody that has a situation similar to me, my advice would be is to focus on your future and imagine a life where your only stress is minor bills and what to eat for dinner or what to wear. Where all your fears have vanished, and know soon once you hit 18 you’ll be free.

Focus on your future and imagine a life where your only stress is minor bills and what to eat for dinner or what to wear. Soon you'll be free.

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