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Around the age of 12 I started having a difficult time controlling my overwhelming emotions and racing thoughts. I started constantly being admitted to hospitals, I lived in an endless cycle of depression, mania, and the brief intervals of feeling okay.
In my second year of college, I experienced my most intense episode of psychosis, I missed out on the semester and my mental health was at its worst. Once I began to recover from this, I decided I no longer wanted to live this way, as a slave to my ever-changing and destructive moods and states of mind.
I’ve seen a therapist since the age of 12, but the constant hospital visits caused my treatment team to be inconsistent. The therapy helped a bit, but it didn’t make a true difference until I consciously decided to allow it to help me.
Once I decided I wanted to change, I let go of all the negative people in my life, which helped so much. I was able to get back in school, the medication they prescribed me was the first one I’ve tried that actually helped calm my racing thoughts, ease my anxiety and minimize my depression.
My life is great! I plan on getting my Associate’s Degree this year, then transferring to a four year college. I have a couple of self-published poetry books, my relationship with my family is a lot stronger and my relationship with myself is better than I could have ever imagined,
To anybody having a hard time. I would say, a difficult time isn’t the last destination, and you are never alone. Reach out and you’ll find there’s people who care and want you to be okay. It does get better, and don’t allow anyone or anything to dim your shine.
I lived in an endless cycle of depression, mania, and the brief intervals of feeling okay.
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