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How My Relationship With My Parents Has Changed As An Adult

Like most teens, I didn’t have the best relationship with my parents. I wanted to be independent and to make my own decisions. But of course, I had parents who were looking out for me trying to make sure I didn’t mess up. Teenage me just thought they were trying to make my life suck.

As I’ve gotten older, my relationship with my parents has changed for the better. Teenage me never thought it was possible. But, I’ve come to realize that they do care about me. I’ve also realized that they’ve always had my best interest at heart. They did the best they could, especially when I was being a rebellious brat (due to unaddressed mental health struggles). And, I’ve come to terms with the fact that they are human with their own issues, just like every other person.

I used to never really feel like I could talk to them, but as I’ve gotten older, I have a good relationship where I can talk to them. I used to hide a lot of parts of myself from them because I was terrified of disappointing them. I’m happy to report that I have no filters around them and they really do accept me for who I am. I’m sure sometimes they wish I might have a bit more of a filter, but they never try to shut me down for being me. I can talk about funny things with them and more serious things, and it’s so nice to be able to go to them with those more serious things.

So, What’s Helped My Relationship With My Parents?

I think one thing that has helped me personally was living out of their house. When I started to live away from them, I thought I’d be one of those people who moved out of my parents’ house and never went back. But, quite the opposite is true. I find myself going over pretty regularly, especially now that they live just 3 miles from me.

My dad knows I’m into birds and lighthouses and if he comes across one, he’ll always send pictures my way. It’s nice to know he thinks of me when he sees stuff I like. I’ll send him my photos I take when I think he’ll like them. I text my mom all the time just about random stuff. Both of my parents are really funny and, for the most part, they get my sense of humor.

Teenage me would never have believed that I could be chill with my parents and actually want to talk to them and hangout with them. But honestly, I’m thankful to have gotten to a place where I have a good relationship with my parents. Sure, sometimes they can still get on my nerves, but those times are so few and far between.

Another thing that’s really helped me is accepting them for who they are. When they’re having a bad day, I meet them where they’re at, just as I would any other person. I also do not hold any mistakes they might have made in the past against them. I sure as hell made a lot of mistakes while I was under their roof. But, they stuck by me, even when they didn’t agree with my choices.

-Kailey