Media Room

poison

i watched a pigeon die today
i was already late to work
when i spotted her
she sat on the
burning hot pavement
of an empty parking lot
she looked
confused
she looked
damaged
she looked
beautiful
her feathers were painted
white with a hint of light brown
i watched her from a distance
motionless
she was having trouble moving her legs
and wings
and so was i
i took a deep breath
walked towards her
and thought to myself
i felt anxious
i wanted to help
but
i didnt know what to do
with 4 different sized bags
wrapped around my body
i knelt down before her
her head slowly spun around
and around
her eyes filled with the most
lifeless hue of orange
i have ever seen
rolled up into her head
pointer finger extended
i caressed her body
after a few seconds
of emptiness
my body urged me to
do more
be more
like a child looking
for a hand to hold
she fell into
my palms
innocently
i brought her to a patch of shade
and set her down
as i noticed her condition
exponentially worsen
fear consumed my body
i phoned a coworker
relayed the situation
and as this was going on
i watched the pigeon
crawl back into the
scorching hot sunlight
absolutely dumbfounded
and at a loss for words
i asked my coworker to text me
the animal control number
before abruptly ending the call
i knelt before her
once again
and like deja vuu
she fell into
my palms
except this time
i felt sick to my stomach
i was quick to place her into the shade
because i knew deep in my heart
that this was
the beginning of the end
at the same time i received the text
she began convulsing
i was horrified
i didnt want to watch
but i did
her body flung around
aggressively
and with every toss and turn
she spewed a brown liquid from her body
i felt overwhelmed
nauseous
angry
heartbroken
all at the same damn time
i wanted to scream and yell
but nothing came out
only tears
i remember covering my eyes
and turning away a few times but
it didnt feel right leaving her
to suffer alone
the pain must have been
unbearable
i can’t imagine
after what seemed like an
eternity
the convulsing stopped
i watched the energy drain from
from her delicate body
what is life
without death
in a weird way i feel like
shes still alive
someway
somehow
energy is forever flowing
its shapeless
formless
some might say her life
came to an end
but i like to think
that this
was just
the
beginning