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I was in a relationship for over 3 years, we went in different directions and grew apart, but are remaining friends now. Recently, I have started to date again and actually am with someone now after a few months of wanting to just do self care and self love, and get past some of the hurt and grief from the past relationship. I have noticed how hard it is not to compare person to person. Even if it’s just small things. Someone said to me the other day that we need to start looking at every relationship (even friendships) as a totally different one. What happened in one isn’t what is going to happen in another. I wish that I had this mind frame a long time ago. I think it could have saved some of my friendships and past dating experiences. With that being said.. easier said then done. It’s hard to look past those things that are stuck in your head.
Does anyone have this problem too? Any tips to get past the comparing part?
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Torry,
I can totally relate to what you are experiencing. Due to the fact that I have gone through hard times in past relationships, I have been fearful of getting into new ones and when I start to I automatically think that everyone is the same and will have the same, negative characteristics as those in the past. I like the idea of treating each new relationship as a totally new one, that way we give the new people we come in contact with the opportunity to show us their true selves without us automatically jumping to conclusions. Nevertheless, I feel like this is waaay easier said than done and I won’t just forget everything that my past relationships have taught me in regards to red flags, warning signs, etc. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Hi Luz,
Thanks for sharing! Exactly how I feel! I am trying to do this new mind frame of everyone is different, but it has surely been a challenge!