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I recently got back to school and am expecting my roommate to move back in on sunday. I am excited but nervous to face a problem that we never really got to talk about last semester. Towards the end of last semester I thought I saw cuts on my roommates wrist, but I wasn’t completely sure. I did not want to falsely accuse her of something because of the way I know she is. If i see anything on her wrist this time I want to talk to her about it. Any ideas on how to approach this situation? I know from experience someone shockingly finding out and being angry makes things worse. I want her to understand that I am here for her and that getting help is not a bad thing.
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That’s a tough one. I know when I was approached about my own struggles I got super defensive and automatically felt like I was being called out or like attacked. I think it’s really important to come from a place of, I’m here to listen in a supportive way. And it’s so important to be validating, “I know this is hard and I know that you’re stronger than this.” I think saying something is always better than saying nothing.
I hid my cutting for a really long time and when someone saw they didn’t know what to do. They were uncomfortable and acting weird because they were worried but didn’t know how to approach the situation. I was so ashamed about it and their reaction made it worse. I wish that someone told me that they were sorry I was in that much pain that I felt I had to do that. Or like I might not get it, but like Sara said, I can be here for you and listen.
Thanks so much Sam and Sara! I am much more comfortable approaching her now. I just worry that if I talk to her about it she might become less open and try and hide them. I have been keeping an eye out for her and I am going to continue to be there for her even with the million of activities I have going on.