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As a survivor of suicide, sometimes it’s hard for me to not think about it again…and again. In the past, I’ve thought about what I did wrong that failed my attempts and what I could have done to succeed (what my other alternatives were).
Today, I am focusing more on what I am doing to better myself so when I do have suicidal thoughts, I don’t act on them. It’s a very difficult thing to do, but it is possible!
I have also tried thinking more about what my purpose is here on Earth. Now that I’ve been through this, it’s my turn to give back to prevent this from happening to someone else.
I came across this amazing blogger (Dese’Rae L.Stage) who shared her story about going through a very difficult time while staying in an abusive relationship. When Dese’Rae’s depression consumed her, she hit rock bottom and attempted suicide. After her failed attempt this is what she did: “I’ve collected the stories and portraits of attempt survivors across the country, people just like you and me, and I’m finding that the louder I yell, and the more people I convince to yell with me, the more we inch toward breaking down those walls of stigma and shame, and the easier it becomes to just live through this.”
Out of all of the survivors, the person who I felt connected to and who expressed very similar thoughts of survival was Tile Celeste.
She talks about her rethinking process after her attempt. She needed to figure out what part of her was worth holding onto. She says: “I started figuring out who I wanted to save: the Tile that I didn’t want to be gone.”
Which person do you feel most connected to? Who stood out?
Check out the project here: Live Through This
or here ->>>>> http://www.refinery29.com/2015/09/82628/live-through-this-suicide-attempt-survivors#slide
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I forgot to add:
For more information on the project, people, etc. here’s the main website: http://livethroughthis.org/
So far as of March 2015, she did 117 interviews!
Hey Val! Thanks for sharing. I was peeking around at the site, and was really impressed and inspired by her work. Thank you for opening up and allowing us to be a part of your journey.
Inspirational! Thanks for sharing Valerie.
Valerie,
Thank you so much for sharing the link to this article, I was so interested in it I shared it on our Join Rise Be page as well! Often times I find myself in the same situation as you, where because I have attempted suicide in the past I find myself dwelling on what I could have done differently or what I could have changed. I am doing much better controlling my suicidal thoughts when they do come around nowadays though, for my job and the amount of support and level of stability I have in my life now is great.
When reviewing the article I could not just pick one person that resonated with me, for many of the individual stories had parts that I could identify with. I can recall one of the women feeling she had to hide her identity because of her strict religious upbringing. I can relate to this because I too have just begun to wholeheartedly be me 100% of the time after having to hide for a really long time. I can also relate to many other stories as well though. Thank you again for sharing this post.
Luz