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I think we’ve all had those days where our emotions have totally been too much for us. The kind of days where we didn’t want to be around everyone and would much rather be under the covers all day, or the types of days where every little thing sets us off and we don’t even know way. Either way, emotions are a part of what make us humans, and although some of them can be hard to deal with, when we have good days and get to experience positive emotions, it balances out.
TurningPointCT.org was developed by young people in Connecticut who are in recovery from mental health and substance use issues. We know what it’s like to feel alone, stressed, worried, sad, and angry. We’ve lived through the ups and downs of self-harm, drugs and alcohol, and the struggle to find help.
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Yes! These days can be SO hard to deal with. Currently I’m extremely aware of my “unwanted” emotions and am trying to maneuver how best to cope with them!
Yes! These days can be SO hard to deal with. Currently I’m extremely aware of my “unwanted” emotions and am trying to maneuver how best to cope with them!
Hey Arianna! Looks like you tried replying to this post but it came through our email instead and got a little lost! I want to apologize for our late reply as I’ve been thinking about you since your first post! Hoping you are doing alright and so happy you’ve found us for some support!
“I harmed myself that was my addiction it makes me feel something I used to feel numb and pain is easy to feel so I harm myself the scars are worse people look at me like I’m a freak and they ask questions they whisper to kids about how crazy I am”
Wow, I can definitely relate to this. Self harm is undoubtedly an addiction. It’s very hard to resist urges and very hard to overcome. But it’s so so possible. I promise you that. Throughout my journey with self-harm, I used a lot of different ways to try to overcome it. Do you have any other tools to help you cope? Or is self harm your most used coping skill at the moment?
And about the scars: as another person who lives with multiple very visible and pretty shocking scars, i know the feeling of people staring and whispering. It’s like a punch to the gut at times. But with time you will learn to forgive yourself and live with your scars as a reminder of how strong you are and what you’ve overcome. They don’t separate you from your peers, but are just a visual representation of the struggles you have experienced. You are not alone.
Sending lots of positive thoughts and love your way xx
My brother has scars from self harm and I’ve seen people ask him about them. Over time he’s decided jsut to say “I hurt myself.” Sometimes they pick up on the fact that it was on purpose and other times they don’t, but they usually stop asking. I saw a really cool posting on buzzfeed of tattoos that people got over their scars to help them move away from the negativity. Check it out: tattoos over scars from self-harm
https://www.buzzfeed.com/sallytamarkin/beautiful-tattoos-683?utm_term=.tw8xAmWGp#.stdmN0wBY
I used to self harm as well, and for a while after I stopped I used to be too embarrassed to wear short sleeves in public (even in the summer) because I would be scared of what people would think about them when they saw them. Now, as I work in the field and support those who are going through similar things, I have a different outlook on it and I see it as something that used to be a part of me, that I went through and that I used to do in order to cope due to the harsh realities of my life but I understand that it is not who I am now and that it is very possible- (hard)- but possible to overcome. In addition, I have gotten several tattoos to begin covering up my self-harm scars.
I love “cover-up” tattoos. When I was 19, my brother joined the Navy. I wanted to get a tattoo A.) for him because I was so proud he was achieving a life-long goal of joining the military (He literally started studying for his ASVAB in Middle School) and B.) because I wanted to try to start to cover up some of my self-harm scars.
The tattoo was actually something that helped me not cut. I had to work really hard to find a shop who would tattoo over my “new” (not really new, just still red, raised and visible) scars. And every time I wanted to self harm before getting the tattoo, I remembered I was doing a big thing for myself- that I couldn’t get it if I cut again and I really wanted to get it. Then, once I got it, I was so happy and proud of myself- and my tattoo was so pretty that I helped me continue to not cut for a very long period of time!
Sometimes I think I want to cover the scars on my arms, and other times I feel as though they are a part of me.
I used to feel so sad when I looked at them, I’d wonder what I’d look like without them, and think I will never know what my actual arms look like- without scars. Now, they remind me how much I have gone through and overcome. It may sound corny, but they are badges I’ve been given for surviving.