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Home Let’s Talk Coping With This Thing Called Life Finding Light in the Darkness

This topic contains 10 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by Rai Rai 3 years, 10 months ago.

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  • #3412
    Valerie
    Valerie
    Participant

    Are you a person who connects more with the light or the darkness?
    Depending on my mood, sometimes it’s hard for me to see the light, but after reading this beautiful article, I have seen a different perspective on how they balance each other out quite well.
    When I think of darkness, I instantly choose the words “sad, lonely, doldrums, etc.,” which are all depressing words! In contrast, when I think of light, I choose the words “happy, faith, hope, etc.” Choosing between the two, I would think most people would (hopefully) go for the light, but for me, I am grateful for the darkness because if I hadn’t gone through the darkness, I would not have known how rewarding it is to capture the light.

    In this article, Dr. Diana Raab shares her story and I want to share how she found light in the darkness.

    “In addition, it’s important to be mindful of the signals that life offers you. Be confident in your ability to balance the light and the dark, and know that the darkness does not have to overpower everything in your life.”
    Moon and tree

    Finding Light in the Darkness

  • #3476
    Sara
    Sara
    Participant

    I love the suggestions they said for keeping a balance! Here they are below…

    -Be grateful and express gratitude.
    -Be patient with yourself.
    -Reach out to others.
    -Choose your battles carefully.
    -Have courage.
    -Be vigilant in all aspects of your life.
    -Have the confidence to say, “I am better than that.”
    -Get support and help from friends and healers.
    -Be aware of your resistance to change.
    -Be fearless about banishing negativity from your life.

    What do you think?

  • #3489
    Rai
    Rai
    Keymaster

    I have such an issue with the idea of light vs dark… it’s more than just about mood with me. I start to immediately think of the war on race and this idea about good vs. evil. Light always being something good and dark always being something bad or negative(evil), so I’ve been working on trying to think differently but when it’s everywhere all the time, it’s really hard to fight it. I’m really appreciative of this post and for the suggestions for keeping balance in “finding the light”, or your way out of a tough time.

    These especially stick out to me because I am always struggling with these,
    -Choose your battles carefully. (Always feel like every battle is worth fighting, when in all actuality, they’re not)
    -Be vigilant in all aspects of your life. (I have to make sense of everything in life. I have to “stay woke”)
    -Have the confidence to say, “I am better than that.” ( Sometimes I honestly need to take this into account but I’ve been struggling with the idea of “being better” than something since so many people have said that I always think I’m better than them or the things they do b/c of the decisions that I make/have made in the past)

    Def gives me something to think about and work on.

  • #3492
    Valerie
    Valerie
    Participant

    Rai, I think it’s interesting that you find light and dark similar to war on race and good vs. evil.
    I honestly never thought of it that way (war on race) because I don’t ever picture being light skinned a positive or “better” thing. (Especially because I burn badly especially during the summer). I definitely understand where you’re coming from though.It makes me sad to think of the discrimination still prevalent in our world when it comes to race…everyone should be equal.

    As for the good vs. evil, I’ve always wondered who chose light to be good and darkness to be evil? I wonder if we changed it around, what would people do…would they acclimate better to the darkness? We wouldn’t know what light was unless it was once dark.

    I think when it says “being better than that” it could mean, you are better than going for the negative or someone who isn’t worth fighting against should be left at bay (kind of like choose your battles).

    I think you have a very interesting opinion on this article. It makes me happy to see what you’ve taken from it. Thank you, Sara for posting the suggestions for staying balanced too!

    What does anyone else think? What helps you stay balanced?

  • #3493
    Rai
    Rai
    Keymaster

    You’ve probably never thought about it that way because fortunately, you may have never had to lol There’s always been this huge issue with light vs dark skin growing up for me… I’m not sure when it began or with who, but I know that it grew to be a problem amongst the Black slaves and amongst African tribes (the Hutus & Tutsi’s). Slave owners helped to create this conflict amongst the slaves, putting them against one another, as the lighter slaves were allowed to do house work, giving special privileges and were treated better than those with darker complexions. The dark skinned slaves did a majority, if not all, of the rigid, inhumane work and were mistreated far worse than the lighter counterparts. I’m sure you can see how this created a rift in relationships and in the black community as a whole– dark skin slaves believed that light skinned slaves were “sellouts” and eventually grew to dislike them, all to no fault of their own smh. Slave owners created a divide and a class separation based on color and appearance. Since then, that slave owner mentality has seemed to be embedded into a lot of African-American’s heads.. still til this day. They still perpetuate the dumb idealogy that was intentionally planted in their heads to separate the slaves and to keep them weak. All day on social media I see .. light skin vs dark skin memes and what not. Always hear my friends with darker complexions be called “pretty for a dark skinned women”, instead of just pretty. It’s just all ignorance and as much as I would love for my people to get that it isnt all fun and games.. and that they need to see the bigger picture in discriminating between light vs dark, they have to learn on their own. I just got comfortable in my own skin when I turned 16, so I hope people realize that this “battle” between light vs dark is all man made and shouldn’t affect the way we see one another.

    As far as the Hutus & Tutsis… its the same dynamic. Two African tribes fighting one another over class warfare and appearances. It wasn’t until the 1994 Rwandan genocide did the history between the two reach an all time high, with thousands of people being murdered, women raped, and refugees hiding out in nearby areas.It’s just so damn sad and ridiculous.

    I always thought about that with good vs evil as well ! It probably was in the bible somewhere?

    Yes, I will look at the “being better than that” with that perspective, it makes more sense. I always break things down, sometimes too deep that I overthink them lol Thanks for that Val!

  • #3495
    Valerie
    Valerie
    Participant

    I am glad you are comfortable in your own skin now especially because you’re absolutely beautiful! Inside and out, you’ve got great confidence and an amazing soul.

    And maybe that’s where the light also comes from…our spirit.

    I don’t see people as being “white” or “black” because my family on my mother’s side are 100% Sicilian and every one of them has a different skin tone. My mom and grandmother have the olive tone, whereas I have an uncle who is extremely dark and other uncles have a medium complexion. (I guess that’s why I never understood what the color “nude” was supposed to be). As for me, I’m peaches and cream and I don’t look Italian at all! lol!
    I had a conversation last night with my mom about this because so many people get in the mindset that if you are “black” you are “African American” which is totally not true. We can’t assume anything. Some families have a mixed family or they are just naturally born darker. Just like our hair color, no one is exactly the same. 🙂 Unfortunately, not everyone does think like this and I hope we can change that.

    I really appreciate your authenticity, Rai. I know from history it’s been a cruel world and even people who are born in the same family envy someone who is lighter skinned because they are treated better.

    For now, keep being awesome and spread that positive light from your soul because it sure as hell makes me feel better. 😉

  • #3497
    Rai
    Rai
    Keymaster

    Look who’s talking! You are beautiful inside and out as well! Thank you so much for those kind words, I’m blushing. You’re so sweet!

    I agree with you completely. Our spirit is definitely a part of our light. The more positive and lively we are, the more it shines.

    We need more people in this world like you! You’re so understanding and you get it. All races and ethnicity are never one in the same… complexions vary and people are so narrow minded sometimes and stuck on stereotypes of whats suppose to be, that they start to judge and aren’t as accepting of the differences that I would hope they would be in this day and age. I come from a family just like that… we are all over the place when it comes to our appearances and skin tone. That doesnt make us any less related or accepting of one another so I always wish that people would do the same. Ive had that convo soooo many times about black and African American heritage. Some people dont mind intertwining the two while others are very sensitive to the differences and prefer to be called one or the other.

    You know what they say about those assumptions lol People are just making a**es of themselves lol but hey, they’ll learn on their own time.

    Oh Val, you are everything! You’ve been nothing but true to yourself and I really respect that. Thank you for your openness! This convo just made me feel better. Thanks for opening up the door to this… High fiveeeee

  • #3498
    Michael
    Michael
    Participant

    Hi Val and Rai – this is such an interesting topic. As some of you may know, I used to work full time in the cosmetic industry. I freelance right now, and this brings to mind the abundance of products for lighter skins tones, yet little options for foundation, etc for darker skin tones. Although, in all honesty, companies have gotten much better. It also brings to mind marketing. You always see white models in most of the ads, with very little latin, asian or african american representation…

    But back to the original topic… I tend to connect with the beginning and end of the day – that is, sunrise and sunset. I also love starry nights! It feels very magical and mysterious at night, and I find I can sometimes focus better at night. I personally find midday boring and ordinary (although I’ll take a sunny midday over wintery blah weather…)

  • #3501
    Valerie
    Valerie
    Participant

    Michael,
    I totally agree with the night – I have a love of stars and watching the sky at night. It’s very peaceful and it helps me appreciate all that the darkness has to offer. I also have a connection with the moon, so it is exciting to see the moon even during the day time!

    The best time for me when it’s considered light outside is during sunset. I guess it’s because the sky is smeared with beautiful shades of red, orange, pink, etc. It’s almost like a welcoming to the darkness (a great transition).

    I am trying my best not to associate darkness as depression because this time of year the darkness appears earlier. This is my opportunity to embrace and balance the darkness and the light like Dr. Diana Raab said in the article. 🙂

  • #3505
    Avatar
    ShyGuy4eva
    Participant

    I find this post so relatable. I realized this aspect of light/darkness equilibrium this year. I appreciate the life lessons I learned from the darkness to embrace the beauty in its entirety within the light. I believe hardship is the most effective way to strengthen the soul. If I hadn’t went through the trauma and abuse that I have been through in my past, I wouldn’t ever have been able to be as grateful of the light now. Gotta have both and to control both sides as well.

  • #3507
    Rai
    Rai
    Keymaster

    My friends and family with darker complexions def have a hard time finding their right foundation match! At one point, there were very few lines who even carried make up for darker skin tones. Cosmetics is evolving and I do agree that they are doing a better job at being inclusive and incorporating everyone. The media is also making some changes… I am starting to see more variations in complexions covering magazines and walking down runways. It’s not as much as I’d like to see, but progress is there. They’ve also made a dark skinned Princess (Princess Tiana)! I was so excited to see that… She’s so beautiful!

    Haha, Michael, you’re so romantic. lol We should all lay out on the grass once the weather permits it in a few months and gaze up at the stars. I see that in our near future.

    ShyGuy! I couldn’t have said that better myself. There def has to be some balance with the light & darkness and i think one does have to grow to appreciate their darkness in order to really be grateful for the light. It’s really a process and it does take a while to get there. Im glad you shared that!

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