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The holiday season may be tough for some people for a variety of reasons. For some, it may be a constant reminder of negative, perhaps traumatic events that have occurred in their past around specific dates. For others, it may be uncomfortable to be forced into situations or not-so-familiar environments with family that they only see on special occasions. For me personally, I both love and have a difficult time with the holiday season. I love the colored lights and decor, I love giving presents and seeing the joy on my family’s faces and I love the great food we eat and the wonderful memories created when we get to spend time together. Nevertheless I have lost a couple of people that have been close to me at one point or another in my life during this season, and although I find peace knowing that they are in a better place, it hurts me to know that I can’t spend time with them anymore and see them continue to grow into awesome individuals.
On December 26th, 2012, God called home my childhood best friend. She was an awesome person, a cool person to hang out with, a great singer, a compassionate soul. I will always remember sitting in the cafeteria in elementary school and laughing at her as she drank her chocolate milk out of the carton with it turned sideways. Back then I thought I was cool and whenever we would get dissed by the “cool kids”, my phrase of choice was “you freakin’ asteroid”. Although I did keep in touch with her over the years, we did grow apart and were no longer best friends like we used to be when we were in elementary school. Her death was not easier due to this though, as guilt settled in and I definitely wished I had spent more time reaching out and talking to her as we got older. R.I.P. C.M.D
On December 31st, 2015, God called home another one of my best friends. Man was this hard to swallow. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I can still recall as clear as day when I was on her Facebook profile and was a little confused as I saw so many people posting R.I.P. on her timeline. I didn’t understand why they were doing that, I had just spoken to her, and we had agreed to cancel our weekend plans of going to Walmart because she had decided on spending time with her sister instead. Everything seemed fine, although underneath it all I know not everything was. S.E.K. was the funniest, most random, best softball player, most determined and strong individual I have ever met in my entire life. I will forever be grateful of our weekly car rides to and from groups, our detox sessions at Sweet Frog afterwards that helped us unwind, our random conversations, our trips to Charming Charlie’s to purchase gifts for other people because the Lord knows neither of us would be caught dead buying something in there for ourselves. I definitely miss her more than words can explain, and every time our song comes on the radio or Pandora, I honestly feel like she is with me. R.I.P. S.E.K.
Are there any reasons why the holidays are especially tough for any of you?
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Thank you for sharing your experience Luz I heard you when you said you love the holidays and you have a tough time with them.
The holidays are especially tough for me because on July 25th, 1999 my mother passed away. Although it has been 18 years it has not gotten any easier. I still long for my mother even now more than ever. Both my brothers and I all have children now and we all wish that our mother was alive to see and spend time with our grandkids. Even though I miss my mother more than anything being a mother makes it more bearable for me.
Cheniece,
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences as well. Loosing a loved one is definitely a very,very hard thing to deal with, and thinking about the fact that they are no longer here can be painstaking at times. I honor your bravery in sharing this piece of you as well, because sometimes even though it still hurts us, talking about it a little at a time will help heal old wounds. I wish you much luck as you continue forward on your healing journey, one step at a time. 🙂
Thank you Cheniece and Luz for sharing your stories. I’m sorry both of you had to go through that. At least now they’re in a better place and God is taking care of them. Even though it wasn’t during the holiday I did lose my cousin when I was in high school. He suffered from mental illness as he got older. He always used to take me out on his boat when I was a kid he also took me and my brother to sporting events. One day when I was a senior in high school me and my family got a phone call saying he committed suicide at his house. We were all devastated when we heard the news. Till this day I still think about if there was anything I can do to prevent that from happening. But at least now his soul is at peace.