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Similar to many others, the holidays for me were bittersweet. Although I made many great memories with loved ones and had a good time celebrating, it marked the one-year anniversary of one of my best friend’s suicide. For the past year, I had felt like I had done little to nothing to remember her, not even having gone to her tombstone yet. I guess it’s true that people process things differently, but I simply do not want to feel like I am forgetting her because of the fact that her manner of death was covered up because of what seems to be shame. Her entire life stemmed from advocating for young adults who struggled with mental health challenges and her family is completely blocking out that part of her. I don’t know if I am still angry or more numb than anything else, but I do miss her dearly. I am glad the holidays are over and this won’t be front and center for me until the holiday season comes back around.
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I’m sorry for your Loss Luz. Losing someone is never easy but I do hope that you find comfort and joy in the memories that you two shared. The way that we all process things are def different and sometimes it takes time… time to come to terms with things and to be able to deal with it. I hope you find the strength and take some time to visit her. Although you say that you havent done much to remember her, I think you actually have. You’ve been a huge advocate, just like she seemed to be, for young adults struggling. You carry a piece of her within you, so every thing you do, commemorates her.
If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. I lost a friend to suicide as well and believe me, I still have such a hard time coming to terms with it. For a very long time I was also angry but in the end, harboring anger isn’t healthy. I had to really dig deep and look at things from a different perspective. Im praying for you!
Rai,
Thank you for your kind words. It’s definitely good to know that I am not alone and also knowing that I can get past my current feelings. I had never looked at the work I do on an everyday basis as a way of commemorating her, and now that I think about it my work seems so much more meaningful. Also, the memories that we share do help me get by on a day to day basis, and are something that I will forever hold on to.
Thanks,
Luz
Anytime. I’m glad that I can help you to look at things differently and see it from a different perspective. When dealing with something or living through it, it’s so easy to be overcome by it or even distracted by it. The work that you do is very important and every person that you have helped or even have attempted to, is worth it.
Keep your head up and hold on to the good things <3