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I’ve been going through a lot of personal changes and I have been hyperaware of other’s reactions towards me, particularly people I’m close to, like my family, therapist, and friends. I cut my hair and dyed it, and I’ve come out to a few people about preferring he/him pronouns. This has all been making me anxious and confused, yet somehow I’ve been a lot happier with myself. Yesterday I looked in the mirror and I actually recognized myself. I can’t even recall the last time that’s happened.
I’ve noticed my therapist and a couple acquaintances acting differently around me , however it is possible that I am simply perceiving their behavior incorrectly. Or maybe it isn’t a negative thing, maybe they’re trying to get accustomed to my identity??? Either way, I’ve been a lot more comfortable and happier with myself, and the way other’s react to me is a reflection of where they’re at and as long as I know who I am that’s what matters. At least, that’s what I tell myself. It’s been weird, but I know it’ll get better 🙂
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Hey Amily,
Thank you for sharing and expressing your thinking. I think the same exact way and usually make choices based on my perception of how others close to me feel. It comes from uncertainty and fear that I am not or won’t be accepted for me.
What I struggle with most is challenging my thoughts early enough before I cause damage to myself or others.
Thanks again Amily
Amily, I’m so happy that you are coming to a place of real self acceptance, that’s amazing. Learning to love myself despite what someone what think of me was hard at first. And although it’s still hard at times, I know at the end of the day I like who I am today.
You have this in control Amily, way to go! I tend to overthink a lot too, but people will come around if you let them.
Keep being you, let the glitters glow! I find your words really encouraging, it’ll definitely get better!