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Something is missing. What is it? Where has it gone?
Somewhere early on in life, I developed a sense of self-doubt and a lack of confidence in doing things. I felt like I would just live day to day, month to month, going through the motions and acting as if nothing really mattered in the end. I felt like even though I could be on a positive wave of emotions, it could never last and eventually I would get back to being down again, hating the world and everything in it. “Nothing good ever lasts”, I would tell myself. I can even remember attempting to end my life because I had the ultimate conviction that the depressive cycle would forever keep repeating itself and I would never be truly happy.
Over the course of my work experiences, hard work, lots of writing, developing long lasting connections, learning to open up and ask for help, and taking a long time to analyze the purpose for my life, I can honestly state that those feelings are no longer present. They’re gone. I know what I’m supposed to do, I know how I’m supposed to do it. My job here is to use all those negative, sketchy, painful experiences to impact all those who are going through the same things right now. Many people feel stuck and unmotivated, just like I once did. Nevertheless, if no one is out there portraying a living, breathing example of how great life can be without the limitations that doctors, or maybe even sometimes we set on ourselves, what’s going to help them break out of those walls that are keeping them confined? That’s where I come in. Although I know a lot of the things I’ve been through have really sucked, I would never be where I am and who I am without each and every one of those experiences. I am eternally grateful that I have been able to grow and am now able to give back to others in a way that I know would have been 10 times more beneficial to me growing up than the traditional mental health system.
Can any of you relate to any part of this?
What has once been part of your life that is no longer present? Do you want take it back?
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TurningPointCT.org was developed by young people in Connecticut who are in recovery from mental health and substance use issues. We know what it’s like to feel alone, stressed, worried, sad, and angry. We’ve lived through the ups and downs of self-harm, drugs and alcohol, and the struggle to find help.
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