Throughout my life, I have had many people come and go from my circle. The only people who have never left my side no matter what have been both of my parents. Having endured a very tough period in my life where my mental health challenges were at the center of my life and my treatment was everything that surrounded me, I look at the song from a different perspective. Sometimes, when we go through things in life, they may be too hard to handle or we may just not know how to deal with all of the bullshit life has dealt us so we just explode one day. That may lead us to do things that to the “normal” world may see as crazy, unnatural, insane even, but if you were in our shoes, if you would have dealt with half of the things we have, maybe you wouldn’t feel the same way.
This post isn’t about pointing the finger and blaming though. This post is to inform others that one of the hardest things that I faced when I was going through my period of long-term treatment for my mental health issues was isolation and feelings of being alone. I lost all of my friends and felt essentially disconnected to the world around me because along with the fact that I was away from my home for years, no one reached out to me.
This song means a lot to me now that I look back on those times when I really struggled. I don’t know if things would have been easier for me once I tried transitioning back into the community, or if I would even have more friends now. Nevertheless, I do know that it would have definitely made my time “locked up” way easier because I would’ve known I had people who cared about me besides my mom and dad. Although I am definitely grateful, I was a teenager back then and for me, having your mom and dad by your side all the time wasn’t cool- I wanted friends.
I am grateful to know that if I lost it all today, I know I would have people who would still love me and have my back no matter what. But there are people out there who don’t have that, who will have their friends and even family members turn their backs on them if they ever get “labeled” or put into an institution. But why? Providing support and assuring our loved ones that they will be supported no matter what is one of the most essential things we can do. I know this, because the feeling of having everyone turn their back on you because all of a sudden your “sick” is one of the worst feelings in the world.