First pic: 90 pounds because my diet was snickers bars and whatever food I could steal from my supervisors home (I was a nanny!). A flip phone because iPhones were worth money and anything I could sell I would. The tank top and shorts? Stole those from a 10 year old because I had nothing clean or could fit. Hair never cut because again, money. Where was my money going? Heroin. My addiction was brutal at that time and little did that 19 year old know just one month after this picture I was going to lose everything I still had, wind up in prison, and experience traumas I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Oh sweet girl if you only knew the healing that would come after.
2nd pic: celebrating my cousins wedding with my family and Eric. 6 years heroin free, 4 years out of church (for me, this is healing), 6 years of trauma therapy, a career, a degree, a homeowner, a savings account, a soul sister best friend, a team of women in my corner, my family repaired, my body back, 8 years arrest free (despite the 85% chance of recidivism), a cat and doggo, and a business owner. You see, I needed that strong yet broken 19 year old in order to become the strong and healed 29 year old. This last year of my 20s showed me that I’m a warrior and resilient AF! I would do anything to be able to tell that girl just how precious and valuable she really is. That the love she thought she had was nothing compared to what she has now. I would tell her that she’s not just a junkie, and that when it comes to survival, there is no choice. So for anyone thinking I chose that life, we should have coffee and share our stories. I would tell this girl that she is brave and that even though her rock bottom had a trap door, she would be the one to find the way out. You go, girl.