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Self-Love 2k19!

I found this posted on the work dashboard and figured to share it with you all!

“Advice for my followers: self love addition
You do not have to think every part of yourself is perfect, you can want to change something. But if you find yourself wanting to change it so bad you would starve, hurt, or do something unhealthy, I want you to know that it is not healthy and you should seek help. Those feelings are irrational and can go away with care.

In addition, if your reason to change something is “because people will think it’s ugly.” Or “my s/o wouldn’t like the way I look.” Then yet again it is not healthy and not a good reason to change yourself. They should appreciate you, and if you ever feel degraded or ugly because of them leave.
Everyone is cringy. Every part of your life will be cringy in a different way, that’s just the way it is. You know what that is? Growth. So wear a ridiculous shirt, dye your hair neon yellow because it speaks to you, do your make up like everyday is your big concert. Enjoy life.

Take time every week for a little self love and self care. I don’t mean take a day and go to the spa. I mean do a cheap drugstore face mask, paint your nails, read a book, go on a walk, draw even for just 10 minutes. Or just take a couple dishes out of your room, sweep, take a nap, study for ten minutes, go on a walk even for just a minute or two.

Recovery isn’t gorgeous. It won’t just be eating non fat vegan foods. It won’t always look beautiful, it won’t always feel good. But in the end it’s worth it. Recovery can be eating a salad every day with one meal, or it can be eating three pieces of pizza and freaking out a bit but you still did it and hot damn are you proud.

The truth? Not everyone you meet will love you, someone people are just bad, and some people will just never be drawn to you. Neither of those makes you any less worthy of love and affection.

Self deprecating humor will never get you anywhere. Saying “I’m literal trash.” And “I hope I die lol.” May be a joke at first, but it becomes a real train of though that you are teaching your self, and someday, a little kid will here you say something like that and think it’s okay to do the same thing.
Replace self deprecating humor with overly confident behavior. “I AM THE BEST PERSON EVER!” Is okay to say, it’s funny, it builds confidence and honestly it’s fun.

And last but not least. Every time you start to say something hateful to yourself “I’m so fat, and ugly and worthless.” Or “I deserve to die.” Please take a minute and imagine that you are saying that, you just said that to a little kid. How would you feel? If that little kid was you, when you were younger, what would you tell them? I know I would start with telling him he’s good enough.

Learning to let go.

Today at breakfast, before work, an old family friend had a sit-down with me and asked me how I was sincerely doing. Automatically I wanted to lie, I had the innate urge to tell her there was nothing I wanted to share… But then she brought up that my late mother’s birthday was this passed Saturday, the 26th.

She asked if I went to the cemetery to see her, to talk to her, and I told her I had. But then she frowns and asked me if I felt any better after or if I was just doing it because that made things seem normal. The more I steeped in the question the more I recognized I never liked going to my mother’s grave and I explained this to her. To which she simply said, “Then forget about going at all.” And I didn’t understand; aren’t you supposed to go see someone’s grave when they die? Aren’t you supposed to mourn them?

“Your mom did a lot of bad things, selfish things. So I want you to be selfish, I want you to take care of yourself and not someone who’s been dead almost eight years.”

Still, I didn’t quite understand… She was my mom. I found it right to go ‘see’ her. But then again… It never did anything to sate my emotions, it wouldn’t make me happier, it wouldn’t help me forgive her any sooner.

“After eight years, Fallyn, maybe it’s time you should live for yourself.”

A bold suggestion, if ever I’d heard one. So as I sipped my coffee and considered this woman I rarely got to chat with, I realized:
I had to let it go. One way or another, in forgiving my mother I would therein forgive myself. Or so I’d heard. And after all this time I’d been clinging to the essence that all of this was MY doing, MY burden… When in reality she’d afflicted more people than I care to admit.

The one thing Paulette made me understand today over breakfast is that I don’t have to support a dead woman anymore, mother or no. I can focus on myself, on those around me. But primarily, I should always be selfish and love who I am becoming.

Quote of the day

Isn’t this the truth?! When I finally started to love who I am, I felt bad for those who could not simply be happy for me or with me. Hate is such a useless emotion or trait to have in my opinion. I think we should be lifting each other more, rather than putting others down.

<3 Torry