It is for a pop-up window for people to sign-up for our emails!

NEED HELP? 1-800-273-8255 TXT "CTL" to 741741

A Love Letter.

This is a love letter to the abused,
For my friends who’ve dug fault lines so deep into their soul
They don’t understand when a compliment bounces off their armored skin with a hollow t h u n k
And stare blankly ahead with confusion when even the closest of people try to lift them higher
They think to themselves, ‘What’s wrong with me?’
When there’s nothing wrong at all

This is a love letter to the abused,
For the wise and the meek to realize that they can take off their armor
That they can shed their tears without hesitation or fear
Allow yourself to rise from your soot and ash,
You are worthy of more than limitations you’ve set
Unburden your soul and unclench your fists for you deserve to smile for yourself

… This is a love letter to the abused,
From one kindred spirit to you.

 

Submitted by: Faljak

Talk with the creator of this expression and join the conversation here

“Who Am I?”

There are a lot of people who will ask, in most any plethora of scenarios:

“Tell me a list of traits you’re proud of.”

“What are some positives?”

“Give me a reason why you’re a good person.”

We always sit there listening to nothing but that off-beat clock on the wall, avoiding awkward looks that seem to give the gist of, ‘well I tried I’ll see you next week I guess’, as we attempt rather poorly to come up with just one pitiful answer.

One.

You know how disgusting it is? To not look yourself in the mirror? To see not glass, but broken shards? The past? The scars and fears? The demons lurking over your shoulders in every corner of those four walls?

All it ever took, was that one answer to get going. To get anyone going.

So who am I? Not by definition of one fucked up stigmata so screwed into my core, blaring like a goddamn police siren every time someone asks, “What’s wrong?”

My answer? What else but, “Fine.”

It’s not fine. But I can tell you what is.

Who am I but talented. You know that one professor you have that kicks your ass with work? Makes you think outside of the realm of reason? I had one. She made me think, made me understand things… And even then I was presented with a new word to my arsenal: ‘Polymath’. In layman’s terms it means having the ability to be good a great many tasks but still being shit to yourself. I was always my worst critic, and still continue to be to this day.

Who am I but selfless. I have always emphasized that the ability to make someone smile would be greater than anything. So I cultivated that. I grew with that in my heart, and with that came another greater term: empathy. The ability to know and understand, to learn and guide… Where someone falls, you should know I will have my hand right there for you to help you back to your feet. Compassion, in its more pure form and reality, comes from the most deplorable of lifelines.

Who am I but resilient. Know where you come from, but why let it drown out who you are now? It’s useless to continue to lick those wounds, pick at scabs that continue to bleed and blind you day in and out. It took me years to realize it, yes, but once you let go and live. You’re actually alive. Abuse, night terrors, addictions, starvation tactics, self-harm and mutilation… The list worsens from there, but it takes a real strong mind, body, and soul, one that is steadfast and vigil, to overcome, oversee, and make peace with it all.

Who am I?

I am someone who deserves not the toil and tremor of depression, the affliction and pitfalls of trauma, the snares and fears of anxiety. I can learn and expand beyond even those.

I am someone who does not need this wall that blockades me from the world; sheltering me from everyone and everything, surrounding me in my fear and degradation. By one foul brick and mortar at a time, I am greater than this and the masks I’ve put up to keep everyone at bay.

I am someone who knows she is limitless with potential, yet nowhere near some gross definition of perfection.

I am worthy. I am good. I am —

Fine!

 

-Submitted by: Faljak

Talk with the creator of this expression and join the conversation here

National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day!

Today I wear my rainbow colors and if you want to do the same, I encourage you to, because who could careless if someone is going to hate you? Quite frankly, “if they are going to hate you, they are going to hate you anyways.”

This is my way of coming out and its simply not giving two cents about what other people think.
By the way, its great to be in a school that strongly supports its LGBT students. Much credit to Norwalk Community college.

In my last post, I hinted at the thought: ‘Not all opportunities are to be taken” and I brought this up because I think about anyone who may be in uncertainty about coming out. I remember being in a situation where coming out was not a choice – there were no ‘ifs’ or ‘buts’ about it. It was practically not safe to say you were gay. That has somewhat changed for me but I know that there are many youth in the country that I was born who are living a life of misery simply because of who they are.

So there are times when its OK to risk coming out, but at other times, its just not.

October 11th is National Coming Out Day and the significance of this day is to encourage people to live authentically and to bring awareness to the challenges of coming out.

Practically many of us are caught between a movement and actual reality.

But on the bright side, the first day that you come out to someone, share your story – is probably the fist day of your life.
I remember the first day that I came out to someone, face to face. Its unforgettable. I immediately found the zest for life and it reminds me vividly of the burden that was lifted. I was set free, but I was yet to understand the context in which I was living and the real attributes of this new found freedom.

In my own mind: you come out, there are great people you get to invite in your life, there are probably people you would loose and more than ever, your happiness is in your hands. You made the choice – you face the consequences.

The truth is, not all coming out stories are the same, not everyone has the same experience after coming out and regardless of our intended feelings, it doesn’t always get better.

I’ve learnt to admit this and in the process realize that in as-much as I would want to believe, there is no definite result to any life. The only thing that holds true is that your life changes. Every decision from then on is accountable to you and only you. Who you choose to come out to, who you invite in your life, how you choose to live, are entirely personal choices.

There are still people who I choose not to have certain conversations with and there are people who you could careless about what they think about you. But then There is the question of your safety.

I can still hear the words of my very first counselor, “be yourself, but be careful.” Those words are still real and true. Its not meant to take away from being who you are and living your life as you please, because in all honesty, its no one’s business to ‘know’ and its not your business if they do.

I wish I could tell this to my 15 years old self… “Be whoever you are and just remember that not all opportunities are to be taken.” Because its simply true…

Today, the one question that you could ask yourself,

“What could possibly happen if I come out?” Be the commander of your day, its really up to you. Happy Coming Out day!