This year we are making more time to care for ourselves and letting go of what we don’t need. We have to set boundaries and make expectations for ourselves and others. I know you’re probably looking at this and wondering what resolves even are. Well, resolves are a solution a problem you are having. I often struggle with putting myself first and taking care of my own needs so these are some of the resolves I’ve made that I’d like to share with you.
This year I want you to…
Give yourself the same love that you have always given to others.
I wanted to start off with one that’s really big for me because it’s something that took me a long time to learn. I love loving people but sometimes that can mean neglecting to love yourself. You deserve that love, care and kindness before anyone else gets to experience it. Put yourself first and watch how much you grow. Self-love is the most important kind of love. RuPaul once said, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else?” and she’s right.
Make decisions for yourself and don’t feel bad about it.
This is one I have always struggled with but now I know I have to do what’s best for me. Before, I often wondered how the decisions I make would affect others even if it’s something that could be good for me. I missed out on a lot of opportunities for growth and I’ll never do that again. Sometimes, we have to put everyone else’s feelings aside and worry about how we feel first. At the end of the day, the decisions we make are meant to benefit us, not anyone else.
Make a big deal out of your accomplishments and the things you’re proud of.
Don’t downplay your accomplishments. You deserve to be proud of everything you’re doing. Make a big deal out of the things that are important to you! I am so proud of everything I’m doing and where I am in life so I’m going to make sure I show it off and make a big deal because I deserve it. Even the little things are should be a big deal. Honestly, even if it isn’t a big deal to anyone else, why does that matter? It’s a big deal to you and I think that’s what is most important.
Prioritize your mental health over your desire to please others.
People pleasing can be a really hard habit to break because trust me, I know. I’ve spent most of my life up until now bending over backwards to please the people around me. It is incredibly exhausting and can really drain you mentally. Put your needs first and stop worrying about what other people have to say about it because they aren’t the ones dealing with the consequences of that worry, you are. Try putting yourself first for once and see what that does for you (you won’t regret it)!
Allow yourself to outgrow things and people that are no longer good for you.
I know it’s hard to let people or things go but unfortunately, we’ve outgrown them and we have to let go. My mom used to tell me that if you’re not losing friends then you’re not growing. I know it sounds harsh but she was right because I couldn’t let go of the people who were holding me back and they were keeping me from growing. So, eventually, I learned that it is okay to lose friends because we do outgrow people and that’s not a bad thing. Life is like a book, it has chapters and not every character makes it through all of them.
Initiate conversations about how we feel and expect the same honesty in return.
Finally, this is definitely a big one. Start conversations about how you’re feeling and expect people to reciprocate that with the same honesty. No more bottling up your feelings and keeping them to yourself. If someone has hurt your feelings or upset you in anyway, tell them that and if they can’t reciprocate that or explain why they did then move on. You deserve the same honesty that you give to everyone else and no less.
I hope my resolves have been helpful. What are some you hope to have this year?
Check out Ally’s post Recovery Travels: Austin, Texas to read about what traveling in recovery is like for her!