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Mental Health video by young adults!

Guys, check out this awesome video!

“From award-winning documentary filmmaker Arthur Cauty, comes Faces of Mental Health, a short film which challenges stigma and encourages open conversation around mental illness and suicide in young people.

Students in Bristol were offered a space to open up and share their thoughts and personal experiences of mental illness and suicide, with a view to encouraging people of all ages and backgrounds across the country and around the World to step forward and speak out.”

It’s on vimeo, and definitely worth a watch and a share!!

Check out the video here on vimeo

Finding My Balancé

I am evolving. I am trying to find my balance.
I am learning how to be myself and how to love myself.
My personality is made of these puzzle pieces that I have developed over time. Some are rounded and fit perfectly together. Some are jagged and I can’t find room for them.
The piece I struggle with the most is the bit of me that’s obsessive.
How many times do I have to turn my car around to make sure I turned the stove off? Why do I have a need for constant reassurance? Why can’t I just turn my spiraling thoughts off for one moment of peace?

I can’t help it.

That is my security blanket. I can’t help it.
I was born this way.
I was born to worry about the entire world.
Sometimes I lose count of how many times I think the same thought.
I am so black and white. I am nothing in between. Summer or winter. Day or night. Screaming or silence.
I find my joy in surrounding myself with things I love.
Every time I add a new piece to my Harry Potter collection, my soul sits easy.
I listen to songs 34 times in one sitting.
I watch the same movie over and over again.
I eat the same breakfast, drink the same tea, order the same order.
I keep things in very specific places so I don’t lose them.
The magnets on my refrigerator are never out of place.
My life is a plethora of routines. That is where I find my comfort.
I am surrounded by things I love and care about.

Every so often that routine is disturbed. My world gets flipped. Sometimes when this happens, I feel like I am drowning. But other times, other very very rare times, my routine is interrupted by something or someone so wonderful that I forget to put my hairbrush back where it belongs.

When that happens, I take a deep breath and remind myself that sometimes life is better on the fly.

Not always. My routines are generally in place to keep me sane. But sometimes, that one tiny interruption changes me for the better.

So be patient with me. Reassure my brain that you aren’t mad at me. Let me show you I care about you in the only way I know how- by constantly telling you how much you mean to me. And also by memorizing your favorite drink from Dunkin’ Donuts so I can buy it for you once a week. I am learning how to tone down my obsessive behavior. It is not easy. It is something I struggle with every moment.

Be patient with the people in your world who balancé their struggles in a different way. Be kind to every person you meet. Some of us are battling an entire world inside our own heads.

So Long…

Its almost the end of National Poetry Month. I just want to share a final poem before the month ends. Of course, many more to come.

The theme of this poem is perseverance. It looks at the idea that each day might come to an end but our individual fight continues.



The Meaning of Fear

When faced with the harshest of situations, the decision is up to us. Will we rise to the occasion and prove to be better than anything outside of ourselves or will we continue to let life pass us by? Do not let negative circumstances define your abilities to persevere, or your internal strength. You are as great as you believe and state that you are!

What It Is Like To Have A Mental Illness

“For some recovery is the ability to live a fulfilling and productive life despite disability.”

“Daily Life as a College Student” blogger, Kelly recently she shared her story on Odyssey, which is a platform for millennials to share their voices on topical issues that impacts them.
“People with mental illness should feel like they can get the help they need and not be judged for it…”
READ HERE: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/what-it-is-like-to-have-mental-illness


My Day 4/12/16

First thing I heard this morning was someone throwing up in my bathroom. This really affected my anxiety, because I have OCD about cleanliness and germs. At home I don’t have control over my environment, so if the house is messy and unorganized I can’t do anything about it. Instead I have to keep my room at home unorganized so that I am less stressed about the mess around my house. But at school everything needs to be clean because I have control of my life here. I need everything to be clean, but when I wake up to someone throwing up it makes me really anxious and annoyed. today I had to get up at 7am and clean my bathroom.

The second thing I got to do today was deal with college loans. Loans are stressful, without having anxiety and depression, so having them makes it all so much worse. The reason I had to deal with loans unexpectedly was because I was behind on payments to my school, and I am scheduled to pick classes tomorrow at 8:30am. I would be unable to pick classes when my time arrived unless all my payments were in. Last year my registration day was the worst day I have ever had, and I had a panic attack to the point where I didn’t go to class for the next two days it was so intensely stressful. I had all of my classes picked out, but then none were open, the school I was at last year was huge! All my classes even second and third picks were taken. I never wanted to go through that again, so all I did was stress out about how this loan was not going to keep me from getting to them in time. The school was extremely helpful, and made sure everything was sorted out and I will be able to register tomorrow as planned.

The third thing that happened to me today day was that I came home and found my kitchen in a huge mess. As previously mentioned I have OCD. I feel dirty all over when my house is dirty, something which I just cleaned which made it all the more frustrating that it was already this gross again. So instead of writing a paper I needed to write for class I cleaned the whole kitchen. I also cleaned everything out of the dishwasher, and put it all away because once I start I can’t stop. After that I took everything from the sink, and put it in the dishwasher. It was now that I found that every piece of silverware we owned in the house was in the sink. It never occurred to anyone that they should wash any of it. Finally, once the entire kitchen has been purged, am I able to sit down. I just needed to write about my day, because sometimes it feels the world needs a few more OCD people to clean up for those who are not blessed with even just simple kitchen etiquette. I hope you have had a better day then mine went. Does anyone else have to deal with dirty roommate, whether they bother you because of OCD or just because it is gross? Anybody else want to open up they won’t know. I’m all ears!

Stay Safe <3

About Me

Hi my name is Kelly. My blog is going to be about daily life as college student with mental illness. I have anxiety, depression and OCD. I am a transfer student and transferring to the school I am at now as changed my life in incredible ways. Ways that makes it much easier to talk about my mental illnesses and help others who are suffering. I want to have you read my blog and understand that I go through the same things you all have at one time or another. I plan to blog about my week and how I got through a panic attack or when my OCD got really bad and I didn’t clean when I really wanted to. I want you to see that even though what you are doing seems very small it is a huge deal and I have no shame about sharing my daily life with you if I can help you in any way. I want you, who are reading my blog to understand you can always get help even when it seems impossible. College saved my life. Having help that was free to get changed everything it is amazing and works wonders for me and others.