A couple months ago, I wrote about how I was dealing with massive debt. It’s been about a year now since I officially started dealing with debt. I’m happy to report that all of the accounts have been settled.

The last settlement was made a couple months ago and I’ve since made two payments to that creditor. I’m paying like $700 a month towards debt, which sucks, but it’ll only be until the end of next year. At least my credit is already going up and I have being debt free to look forward to next year.

Issues Along The Way

I wish I could say it was an easy and smooth process. In my last post, I had mentioned that one creditor had been calling my family members and I had to explain my situation to my family, both immediate and extended family. I ended up calling that debt collector back and it actually was an easy and reasonable process to settle that account outside of my debt program. Made me wish I had just answered and heard them out the first time.

A Lawsuit

The other bump in the road was getting served by Discover. The worst part is they sent the summons to my parents’ old house that they moved from. The house hadn’t sold yet and the summons letter was just shoved in the front door. If my mom hadn’t gone to check on the house, I would have had no idea. When we found it, my lawyers had already negotiated a settlement with Discover. Naturally, I was furious. I spent a lot of time on the phone with the debt people and thought it was figured out.

Present day, as in like in the last few weeks, I got a letter from the court saying there was a decision made in the case. Once again, I was livid because I have already made two payments to Discover. It was settled outside of court and now the court is just wasting their time making decisions on something that has already been settled and requires no legal action. I have proof of payment AND a copy of the offer letter that was signed off on. The case should have been dismissed after that, but nope. That’s actually something I still need to deal with. I’ll have to call Discover’s lawyer and the courthouse.

Lessons

Since this whole ordeal, I don’t get embarrassed about being poor anymore. I’m just blatantly honest with people about where I stand financially. Like, I’ll literally screenshot my bank account and be like “listen, I don’t have the money to do that right now” and thankfully, everyone is understanding about it.

I’m able to have honest conversations about money and finances with my boyfriend, which was something I felt that I couldn’t do with my ex. If I can’t afford groceries, I let my boyfriend know. If he doesn’t have the time to go to the store, he’ll give me his card to take care of it. But mostly, we’ll go together and he’ll pay when I can’t afford to help with groceries.

I’m able to voice that I feel bad about not being able to help more financially and how paying off debt is running me a bit dry because I have to pay so much a month. Not once does my boyfriend make me feel bad about it. He literally said “You have a roof over your head and food in the fridge, do what you gotta do to take care of the debt.” I’m really lucky to have a boyfriend who is so understanding and safe. It’s nice not having financial stuff held over my head.

Looking For A New Job

I’ve accepted that my current job does not pay enough. It’s full time with benefits, but in this economy, what I currently make is not a livable wage. Add paying off debt to monthly bills and it’s even less sustainable. Up until I got my tax refund, I was going into the negatives every month. Thankfully, it wasn’t a huge deal because my bank account is with Chime. They spot me when I go negative.

I’ve decided to put myself out there again to try and find a new job. I looked into peer support work and the mental health field. But, I haven’t found anything in those fields worth quitting my job for. However, I have found some jobs that I resonated with and applied for in other fields, but they have really long application timelines so I won’t hear back for a while.

As much as I’d like to make more money, I’m trying to apply for things that won’t make me completely miserable. Working an awful job just for the paycheck is not worth having my mental health deteriorate.

Working On Finances

On top of looking for applying for new jobs, I’m also working on being more mindful of what I’m spending. I haven’t made a budget or anything, but I don’t just constantly get myself little treats like I used to (cough cough, Starbucks). They were just bandaids for my poor mental health lol. I’ve started to do other forms of self-care that are cost effective.

I’m also actually putting money away into a savings now that I can afford to do that (thanks tax refund). On top of that, I do little things for extra cash to put away in my savings like returning bottles, surveys, scanning receipts, etc. Those used to be necessary for me to get by, but now I’m able to put them in my savings. Every little bit adds up.

It’s been an emotionally draining process, but by the end of next year I’ll be debt free! It’s all been worth it. I wish I started dealing with my debt sooner, but better late than never.

-Kailey

Last year, I sat down and talked about struggling financially in a podcast here on TurningPointCT. While I was pretty honest about some of my struggles, I didn’t share how much debt I was in. Honestly, I might not have known back then because I was too anxious to even sit down and deal with it.

Earlier this year as I was preparing to leave my partner of five years, I was forced to sit down and take a look at my finances. I knew I didn’t make much. I knew I had been spending more than I made for quite some time, knowing I was paying for things I could not afford to. But, I was expected to pay for things. In an effort to not be a that person who doesn’t contribute their share, I threw everything on my credit cards. I was so afraid of admitting I was poor to my partner that I ended up with $20k of credit card debt.

I was throwing the minimum payments on my four credit cards every month, never having a late payment. But, the interest caught up to me and I found myself not able to keep my head above water. The interest was shooting me above my credit limit on every single one of my cards. It got to the point where I couldn’t keep up. My entire paychecks were going towards my debt, leaving no money for anything else. I quite literally could not feed myself.

Damage Control

After months of not being able to feed myself, I realized I had no choice but to do something about it. After some researching, I contacted a group that does debt consolidation. I qualified for the program and started my journey towards tackling my debt.

I didn’t tell my family. They knew I was poor. I made jokes about it all the time, but I didn’t want them knowing it was more than just being poor and the absolute mess I made of my finances. I quite literally put myself into financial ruins because I was so embarrassed that I was so poor at 25 years old. Nobody thinks they’ll be 25 and not able to afford to keep themselves alive.

I now put money towards my debt every two weeks when I get paid. I also have a team working to lower my debt with creditors. A part of the process is literally not paying your credit card bills. This obviously results in calls from creditors and debt collectors you’re not supposed to answer, which can be really uncomfortable.

I didn’t care much, until a debt collector contacted my entire family looking for me. Like I’m not just talking my parents and siblings, but my cousins, aunts, and uncles. Not a fun thing to explain when you didn’t tell your parents or even your brother that you were dealing with this. Then having to explain to my cousins and uncles…awful.

Reflections

The journey has been rough. I hate that I waited so long before I dealt with what was happening. I cannot believe I did not start this process sooner, before I had racked up $20k in debt. But, I think what’s worse is that my shame around not having money and not just being honest with those close to me who could have helped is worse. But, that stems from other issues like not feeling worthy and feeling like a burden. I did not feel worthy and I felt like a failure because I couldn’t afford to contribute to household things.

This is a really vulnerable thing for me to be sharing. But, I know a lot of other young people might be facing similar struggles financially. If you’re struggling with debt or feeling like you just cannot afford to be alive, I see you and I feel you. I’ve lived it. I want you to know that you’re not less than or unworthy of others because you’re not financially well off. I also want you to know that there are programs that can help you with your situation. It sucks, but you’re not trapped and destined to be stuck in the situation you’re in.

-Kailey

I’ve written an update on my debt situation, which you can read here.