Our Stories

Rhoda’s Story of Overcoming Feelings of Failure

What have you struggled with? When did it become too much?

When I first entered YAS at the age of 20, I found myself struggling with numerous tasks. From setting up appointments and utilities for my home to navigating grocery shopping and paying rent, bills, and taxes, I felt overwhelmed by the responsibilities of adulthood. Lacking the ability to drive further compounded my challenges, leaving me without access to personal transportation. Advocating for myself during doctor appointments and exercising patience during lengthy phone calls were additional hurdles I faced. Planning for the future seemed daunting, and I lived with a constant fear of failure, convinced that each day could be my last. Learning to be patient with myself as I tackled new tasks and committing to long-term endeavors like work or school were ongoing challenges. Overcoming the deeply ingrained belief that failure was inevitable took considerable time and effort, but eventually, I was able to free myself from its grip.

What kind of support did you get at first? Did it work?

Receiving assistance with my first apartment, including furnishings, was incredibly appreciated and helpful. It encouraged me to take steps towards employment and increased independence. However, having been conditioned for failure by my adoptive parents at the age of 20, and suddenly finding myself thrust into adulthood, I was overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty. This led to numerous poor decisions and a struggle to trust others. Yet, I've come to understand that making mistakes and learning from them is an essential part of the journey toward adulthood for many people.

Were there any turning points where things really started to change for the better?

I recall the decision being made for my then-boyfriend and me to move in together, attempting to embrace the concept of adult living. Initially, I held optimism, but unfortunately, it swiftly spiraled into chaos. He abruptly departed, leaving me stranded and unable to cover the rent. Consequently, I found myself moving in with others to navigate the situation.

What’s your life like now? What have you been able to accomplish, and what are you working towards?

I currently reside outside of CT! I got married in 2011, and happily, we're still together. Last year marked a significant milestone as we purchased our first home. In 2011, I also obtained my driver's license. Just before our marriage, I attempted to reconnect with my adoptive mother, posing some questions. As expected, her response was dismissive and critical, affirming my decision to sever ties with that family. My mental well-being takes precedence over engaging with a narcissist.

Throughout the years, my husband and I have owned a total of four cars, the latest being a 2016 Nissan Altima, a trade-in for our previous one. We welcomed our dog, Clover, into our lives in October 2023, affectionately calling her our "fur baby."

I've dedicated three years to full-time employment at Walmart and continue to do so. Concurrently, I am pursuing online college classes with Southern New Hampshire University. Anticipated in August 2025, I will graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Healthcare Administration. A conversation with a career counselor revealed that social work could be a great fit for me.

What would you say to people who are having a tough time? What’s helped you that you wish you had known earlier

Although things may seem challenging right now, remember that you have the resilience to overcome any obstacles that come your way. When it comes to building relationships with others in the program, it's essential to trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right or seems off, listen to your intuition. Not everyone you meet will have your best interests or mental well-being at heart, so be cautious about whom you trust.

The world can be filled with ignorance and cruelty, but you don't have to let it define you. Your current circumstances do not determine your future. People evolve over time, and you have the power to choose who you want to surround yourself with. Surround yourself with those who uplift and support you, not those who bring negativity into your life.

It's important to recognize that the staff at YAS genuinely care about your well-being, even if it may not always seem that way. They are dedicated to helping you navigate through challenges and emerge stronger on the other side. Trust in their support and guidance as you work towards a brighter future.