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So I couldn’t decide if I should put this in coping with life or social-stuff.. But what this really comes down to is being in a relationship with another addict. When your both in recovery the assumption is that you will both stay sober. But that simply isn’t what happened. He is struggling right now and it is painful to watch. It was two weeks of wondering if he was going to die and hoping each day that he was ready to surrender again. He is currently detoxing now, which I am grateful for, but I am drained. Now I am sitting here with the question, where do we go from here? My heart and my brain are saying very different things. My mom always says you accept the love you think you deserve and after all the stuff I’ve been through with him I’m wondering what that means for me.
Addiction is so incredibly strong, and almost two years away from when I was out there I almost forgot. The disease has been staring me in the face and I’ve been so consumed with his disease I have forgotten to my the treatment of my own a priority. I am so grateful to be sober. And I need to hold onto that.
Taking care of your own stuff and putting yourself first can be hard sometimes, which I really realized in the last few weeks. A relationship was me overcoming the fear to let someone truly in and now I have some other fears I need to overcome to get back to that happiness I have been gifted with since getting sober.
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