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Holiday Blues (and Reds and Greens)

I am dreading the holiday season.
Something that is supposed to be so joyous and warm, yet it sucks the life right out of me.
Today you will find me sitting at my desk on November 10th, wishing I could fast forward to January 2nd.
I am a Pisces, a Winter baby. I have always loved the holiday season.
The smell of a fresh Christmas tree. Cookies in the oven. Fuzzy socks.
Those are my warm memories.

But this year is different. This is the first year that my family won’t be waking up on Christmas morning in the same house. I was lucky enough to wake up on Christmas morning in the same house, with my family, 23 times.
This year is different.This year, Sophia won’t jump on my bed in the morning, yelling, “Merry FREAKING Christmas!” in my eardrums.

This year, my mom won’t put little mouse toys in a stocking for Sunny.

 
This year, I will cook breakfast on Christmas morning, rather than enjoying the casserole that my mom made.
This year, we will be two separate entities, celebrating Christmas across town.

I don’t love admitting that I am sad. It actually makes me rather uncomfortable. But I am sad. I’m sad that I have to create new traditions.

On a more positive note, I want to help myself by helping you to cope with the holidays. How do you deal with the stress of the holiday season? What are your experiences? What advice do you have to offer someone who is starting over?


2 Replies to “Holiday Blues (and Reds and Greens)”

  1. torry22 says:

    Olivia,

    Thanks for sharing this post. I don’t like to admit that sometimes I don’t like creating new traditions. I think this year is going to be harder than I expected.

    When I was younger my family had traditions, But then somehow every Holiday will get ruined by my parents fighting. I always had a hard time on Thanksgiving because my mom had slaved over the oven all day, made this beautiful meal and then my dad grabbed the turkey, through it out the door and said we have nothing to be thankful for this year. This has been stuck in my head for years, even when I got into foster care and these families tried to make it easier on me, it never worked.

    A few years ago I started dating my boyfriend, and for the first time in years I was ready to start new traditions and not think about that awful experience. This would have been the fourth year that him and I spent time with our families together and did our own thing, but this year him and I have taken a break and won’t be spending holidays together.

    I think traditions can be comforting, wonderful and a great thing for people. But I also think it’s hard because we get so use to them, and then if it doesn’t go the way we thought it would.. it can take a toll on us.

    I have come to realize that I have my own traditions for the holidays.. and I wanted to share some of them!

    -I watch football all day on thanksgiving day where ever I am!
    -I watch the Grinch usually on thanksgiving night
    -Christmas eve even if I am not with my little sister, I call her and I read her Twas the Night Before Christmas
    -I volunteer
    -I buy Christmas presents for a random family each year

  2. OliviaM27 says:

    Thanks for sharing these traditions with me Torry! I love that you read Twas the Night Before Christmas to your sister on Christmas Eve- that is so special. Be on the lookout for a flyer we created here at TurningPointCT that lists some helpful tips for coping with the holidays!


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