My life, my home, the inner me,
so filled with controversy.
On one hand an angel, on the other a brat.
Let’s see you contend with that.
Outbursts of joy, or even of pain…
like this no friends do I expect to gain.
The good and the evil fight on neutral ground.
My mind’s an arena in which I am bound.
These feelings of anxiety
bring actions of impropriety.
And when there is joy, I sing unto the Lord.
I give to others. I do not hoard.
Those who watch me shake their heads.
“Hasn’t the doctor given her any meds?”
I’m up one minute, and down the next.
I constantly leave people perplexed.
They wait for me to drop the other shoe.
There’s no telling what I’ll say or do.
I can’t control it, although I try.
The conflicting emotions make me cry.
Even with medicine, the mood swings come,
and afterward I feel so dumb.
So many amends I have to make,
and I’m grateful when people give me a break.
But the loneliness arrives when no one asks me out
to the dances or parties everyone talks about.
So I sit alone with my broken emotions,
pray to God, and read daily devotions.
My world may be full of strife,
but I’ll be set free in the afterlife.
Well I am bipolar too and I go through a lot of mood swings too I’m starting to learn how to ignore certain things and do not let them bother me , because you have to have control of your self . Learn how to let things go , and handle things in a mature way. Because of my history I don’t want to be in a hospital for being unsafe.
You will come across negative energy Jamie, but you are on the safe side. I like that you have remained positive.
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