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For a very long while I’ve been making due with –not really “coping with”– loneliness and the irritation, dissociation, and the other patterns it comes with. I’ve separated myself from everyone for the sole reason that I never was acquainted with anyone other than two close friends who gave almost 16 years of their life to me, watching me grow and continue to progress in recovery; from hell and back, really. However, while I don’t want to discredit them, I long for that same closeness to other people. I want to be social. I want to be around other communities.
I know what you’re thinking, “It’s as easy as going out and saying hello to stranger”, but in actuality it’s really not.
I’m heading to school in the fall, and while this should be an opportunity to grow and expand my social grounds, I am so fearful of the worse outcomes my mind comes up with. I guess the question would be:
How does one cope with loneliness? The isolation and the feelings of defeat it drags up?
I understand where you are coming from and I can understand the struggle behind not knowing how to cope with loneliness. From my college knowledge, I know that there are a LOT of programs offered to students all over campus that are used as a healthy and fun way to meet others. A suggestion: join your college’s facebook group, follow them on twitter, follow their instagram page. Often, the college will post events that are intended for their students to make friends and mingle with others.
Thank you, OliviaM27, for the advice!
Luckily, I’ll be on the same campus as one of my very close friends. She’ll be able to show me the ropes of how everything falls into place and such. Hopefully we’ll also be able to coordinate our schedules to meet up sometimes. But otherwise, I DO hope to expand my social circle and meet like-minded people through clubs. I’m super nervous. And getting into college wasn’t as simple as it was as when I tried going direct outta’ high school. It’s not fresh anymore.
Point being, I appreciate the knowledge. I’ll keep in mind that clubs are the thing to look out for and I’ll keep an eye on FB too! Thank you!
I was going to say the same thing as Olivia, social media is a great way to reach out. I understand your fear, when I first went to college I was really nervous that I wouldn’t be able to make friends. The first thing I did was join a group on campus that I related to and was interested in. (For me it was singing)
I can totally relate to this because I too only have like 2 or 3 friends that I can share my time with. Being as that I am currently in school, what has helped me get adjusted socially has been doing things and attending events that the college may offer. Things such as block parties, dances, cultural events, etc. Although I consider myself to have a VERY high level of anxiety when it comes to meeting new people, I tend to find this helps because I look for upcoming activities around the school and then see what people that are already in my classes would be interested in going. Within my classes, my professors have been doing a lot of things that have involved working in groups and having to work together in the classroom so this has allowed me to get to know some of my classmates better. From this, I can then see who I would be comfortable with spending the day outside of a classroom setting. I hope when you start in the fall all these tips help you out! 🙂
TurningPointCT.org was developed by young people in Connecticut who are in recovery from mental health and substance use issues. We know what it’s like to feel alone, stressed, worried, sad, and angry. We’ve lived through the ups and downs of self-harm, drugs and alcohol, and the struggle to find help.
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