today was a really hard day for me. my anxiety makes it difficult to be at peace with my future, and with the unknown. right now so much is unknown that it seems like it is constantly lurking in the back of my mind. days like this, I have very low energy and low motivation, and taking care of myself doesn’t seem to be worth the trouble. days like this, depression gets into my head and convinces me that i am not someone worth taking care of.
this morning i was scrolling through some older blogs on the forum when i came across an entry from Luca’s blog, Heavy Metal Recovery, from two years ago. he was talking about how he had had a bad day, but he was inspired by something he heard at his NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting. i changed it a little to fit my own diagnosis, but i really liked what he said.
JUST FOR TODAY my thoughts will be on my recovery.
JUST FOR TODAY i will have faith in someone in the mental health community who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.
JUST FOR TODAY i will have a program. i will try to follow it to the best of my ability.
JUST FOR TODAY i will try to get a better perspective on my life.
JUST FOR TODAY i will be unafraid. my thoughts will be on people in recovery, and who have found a new way of life. so long as i follow that way, i have nothing to fear.
this was really powerful to me. my anxiety makes it hard not to focus on the future, and all its uncertainties and implications, but it’s so damaging to your mental health to grow up before you need to because you are looking too far into the future. sometimes i try to tell myself, “three days till therapy. you’ll feel better in three days” but it feels like three years. this inspired me to just take it one day at a time. and i know a day can seem like a mountainous forever (that’s certainly how i felt when i woke up today) so it doesn’t have to be a day. maybe it’s an hour, a minute, or just ten seconds.
you may not know me, but i believe in you. i know that you can survive whatever you are going through for the next ten seconds. take a deep breath. no, actually do it. there. that was ten seconds. see? you can do it!
mental illness reduces you until you feel like there’s no way you are going to be able to keep going. but do me a favor, take a breath, and defy it. the more you do this, the easier it will become. breathing through your days, even if that’s all you are doing, will help you prove to yourself that it is not as difficult as your brain is telling you it is. recovery is hard. but take a deep breath, you can do it.
reply below what you are doing just for today!
just for today, drink some water, eat something, and be kind to yourself. have a good day guys 🙂
I loved this blog posted and how open you were about your struggle with anxiety. It really helped me to see how you coped with your anxiety when you where struggling by breathing. This certainly helped me and I know that it will help other people out there. Thanks for sharing!
– Colby Dineen.
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