Blog: Journal of Gay Afro-Caribbean Immigrant

I have been contemplating this subject.

On one hand, I have been trying to convince myself that being angry because of a particular situation where I may feel mistreated or bullied is never OK.

On the other hand, I have been thinking that the more you allow others to mistreat you while being passive all the time, the more likely that they will continue.

Being angry may have both internal and external repercussions.

For example, whenever I get angry, my anger feeds into negative thoughts and feelings that makes my depression worse. This is internal.
And If I respond to a situation negatively, because I am angry, it could make that situation worse… that negative energy will backfire and in some cases I could destroy relationships. This is external.

The answer, I have learnt is to be ‘assertive’…to use ‘I’ statements, express how I feel, suggests solutions and ask questions, instead of assuming everything.

Over the last few months, I have also learnt, first hand, that sense of humor is not the same for everyone. The sense of humor here in the United States, is often different from humor in other places. Which means that things that I find funny may offend others, and things that are offensive to me, may be of humor to others. It’s a very thin boundary, and in some cases if you do not know how to respond, if it’s that you respond by retaliating in anger, it can make matters worse.

At the same time, you can manage your anger, you can let people know how you feel – explain yourself, express how you feel and that will improve understandings.

By just being aggressive or passive, you either manage the situation the wrong way or you let the situation manage you.

How do you respond when someone does wrong to you?