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Hey Faljak! I cannot believe your last doctor said that to you… how ignorant. You do NOT need to look a certain way to struggle with an eating disorder.
It sounds like this is causing you a lot of anxiety, as someone who has struggled with disordered eating for most of my life I sympathize with the difficulty surrounding food, body image, and aversions to eating (whether it be intentional or subconscious). I’d like to tell you that these problems can get better, and I’m sorry that you have been having such a hard time finding some validation and help from your providers.
What part of CT do you live in? Maybe I can help you find some treatment centers to call and get some information from.
There are also support groups for eating disorders- I used to go to ABA meetings (anorexics bulimics anonymous) although if you feel like that might not be helpful you can check out NEDA (national eating disorder awareness) they have a website.
As for avoiding food, do you have a couple of “go-to” foods that you know you can stomach? Even when your not feeling hungry? I find that when my stomach is bothering me, I drink a lot and that helps. I get in a ton of water, and something like a smoothie- so I at least know I’ve gotten some nutrients for the day.