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This is really touching to me personally because I had a similar experience in high school which leads me to the answer for your question, Luz!
I was at a dark and low point in my life and I’m telling you it was the works; I was treating myself and everyone around me terribly. I was in and out of the hospital and drowning myself in alcohol to numb the pain and cancel out the fact I was letting everything fall apart.
All that said, I was called into the counselor’s office and told that because of my behavior and truancy I would be at risk to not graduate with my senior class. It was arranged, with the principal and with all my current teachers, to pull me from my current courses and put me into remedial courses. I was floored. I knew I was intelligent, I knew I didn’t belong in these rooms with people who snored and drooled all over their desks and didn’t give a lick about anything. But the more I looked around, the more I’d come to terms with the fact I’d fallen into that stereotype. I was one of them.
For the next month, maybe longer, I stayed that way and I continued to isolate, continued to get worse. Until finally one teacher approached me and offered sympathy. She offered to help me bring my grades up under the stipulation I do it on MY terms. I didn’t get it then, why she was helping me when I wrote my essays and when I did my extra homework for just that bit more credit to skirt by… But I GET IT NOW. She saw something in me that she didn’t take pity on, but she thought deserved that chance to continue forward. And unfortunately I only remember her voice and her words and little else. But I am grateful.
When finals came around I took them in her room, with no guidance, and passed them with flying colors, to the shock of everyone else. In the end, I walked with my classmates, I was congratulated by my friends who I wasn’t able to face after months of solitude. It was probably the most moving and also the most stressful time of my life. But I never stopped and I got through it, and I don’t remind myself of that willpower as often as I should!
TurningPointCT.org was developed by young people in Connecticut who are in recovery from mental health and substance use issues. We know what it’s like to feel alone, stressed, worried, sad, and angry. We’ve lived through the ups and downs of self-harm, drugs and alcohol, and the struggle to find help.
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