24/7 Hotlines: Call or text 988 or text 741741
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.
Suicidality is often portrayed as an individual problem, rather than a valid response to systemic ones. The internal and external conditions of living can feel insurmountable for some folks and it is so important to recognize and validate those feelings. For many who experience thoughts of wanting to die, those thoughts often result from a lack of choice. Much of the time, this lack of choice is related to systemic issues like healthcare, housing, employment, access to resources, exposure to violence, and more.
In addition to my role as a peer support specialist, I also facilitate groups called Alternatives to Suicide. In these groups, participants and facilitators co-create space for conversations around suicide and despair. During Alt2Su groups, participants can talk openly and honestly about their relationship to suicide without fear of clinical or carceral interventions. All facilitators and participants have lived experience with suicidality. Alternatives to Suicide groups are free to attend, voluntary, and confidential. I treasure these spaces, the conversations I’ve had with folks, and the connections I’ve made.
For folks who do not experience suicidality, learning that someone close to them is suicidal can feel really scary. It’s natural to react from a place of fear. However, fearful reactions can lead to more trauma or break down trust in a relationship. If at all possible, I encourage folks to take a beat and try to respond from a place of care and curiosity. What in their life has to die in order for someone to want to live? What would make that possible?
For folks looking for free, non-clinical supports, there is a wide variety of resources both in CT and nationally. Toivo and Positive Directions offer Alternatives to Suicide groups in CT and online. RIPPLE offers late night drop-in peer support groups online. For young adults, Join Rise Be has a warmline that folks can call to get support. Trans Lifeline is another warmline option that is specifically for transgender individuals seeking support. New Life II just opened Connecticut’s first peer run respite, where folks can stay for free and receive support during an emotional crisis. NAMI CT offers Out of the Abyss and an online group for young adults that incorporates D&D style role play. Kids in Crisis offers a 24/7 helpline for youth as well as a temporary shelter. Connecticut also has four urgent crisis centers that provide walk-in access for children in an emotional crisis.
These are just some of the resources that are available for individuals who are feeling suicidal. If you or someone you know is in need of additional resources, please reach out to Quinn at qjannetty@positivedirections.org or (475) 999-2605.
August 31st is International Overdose Awareness Day. This year, there are several events throughout Connecticut to remember without stigma those who have died, to acknowledge the grief of family and friends left behind, and to offer resources and support. This year’s theme is “Together We Can” to highlight the power of community connection and collaboration in preventing and ending overdose.
Overdose deaths are preventable. We know that criminalizing drug use hasn’t worked. More compassionate alternatives are necessary – including harm reduction approaches, more access to recovery support and recovery coaching, and more widely available access to and education for overdose reversal medications like Naloxone.
Danbury, CT Overdose Awareness Day Saturday August 31 from 6-9pm at Kennedy Park
Glastonbury, CT Memorial Walk and Gathering Thursday August 29th at 4pm on Academy Lawn
Meriden, CT Overdose Awareness Day Concert Saturday August 31 from 9am-2pm on the Meriden Green
New Haven, CT Overdose Awareness Day Friday August 30th 12-3pm on the New Haven Green
If you or someone you know is looking for support, reach out to our Peer Support Specialist, Quinn at qjannetty@positivedirections.org. They are available to offer 1:1 peer support, answer questions about resources, and connect folks to communities and support groups.
Connecticut’s First Peer-Run Respite, The Gloria House
Connecticut’s first Peer Run Respite is now officially open and accepting guests! I was able to attend the grand opening of The Gloria House last week and take a tour of the house. After spending a year advocating with folks in the peer community to bring peer respites to our state, this was really exciting.
New Life II, a Black-owned, peer-led recovery community organization, operates the peer-run respite. The Gloria House’s mission is to create a brave space in which Respite Guests can find the connection and support needed to navigate emotional distress and turn a difficult time into an opportunity to learn, heal, and grow.
A peer-run respite is a voluntary, short-term program that provides 24/7 community-based, non-clinical (non-medical) mental health crisis support as an alternative to inpatient hospitalization. Peer run respites are staffed by peer support specialists. These individuals have lived experience of mental distress, crisis, and life altering challenges. They used their lived experience to relate to and support folks who are experiencing distress.
Several states have peer run respite programs. The peer community in Connecticut advocated to open and fund eight respites during this last legislative session, and though the bill ultimately didn’t pass, the opening of The Gloria House is a tremendous step towards realizing that goal.
When I’m feeling stressed and struggling to stay grounded and present, spending time in nature is one of the most potent antidotes. Luckily, I’ve been able to get outside and spend time exploring new hiking spots and enjoying old favorites! I compiled some clips of my most recent outdoor adventures as a reminder to myself that being in nature and seeing all kinds of plants and animals always brings me back to my center.
I’ve been able to spend this Pride Month at small pop up markets and local events and I’ve felt more connected to my community than I have in years past. The commercialization and cooptation of pride by corporations has really squashed my desire to go to big parades and events. Pride didn’t start out this way. The first pride was a riot. And sometimes, it feels like the history of queer and trans liberation gets lost in favor of rainbow capitalism.
For me, pride has never been about rainbow products or big parties and parades. June revolves around my community. It’s about supporting queer and trans artists and creatives. It’s about honoring the queer and trans folks who took enormous risks to propel our community towards liberation. With the barrage of anti-trans bills being introduced around the country, it feels more important than ever for queer and trans folks to have spaces to just be with each other.
I’m fortunate to have found and curated these spaces. I also know that there are so many queer and trans folks that are in places and situations that make it difficult or unsafe for them to come out or to express themselves fully. Knowing this fuels my desire and willingness to be open and visible. I will continue to share my journey. I will continue to educate folks with compassion and patience. And I will absolutely continue to make this world safer for us in all of the ways I possibly can. And not just during pride month.
I’m still learning how to show up for my community, but the learning journey has been so rewarding. It is such a gift to love my chosen family so fiercely and so on purpose. This is what pride month is about to me.
Are you a teen or young adult in Connecticut looking for support from a peer? Our Peer Support Specialist, Quinn, is available to meet virtually and in person to talk about what you’re going through. To learn more about them and the work they do, click here and read their bio!
Rather than asking what’s wrong or focusing on helping, peer support is about growing and learning together through conversation. Peer support specialists draw from their own experiences to connect with and support folks in moving towards their self-defined goals. There is no right way to receive peer support. Every meeting is unique, and participants get to choose what they’d like to talk about. Quinn is able to offer resources and connection to different communities around Connecticut for teens and young adults who are interested.
If you’re interested in meeting with Quinn or you’d like to learn more about peer support, email qjannetty@positivedirections.org or text (475) 999-2605.
Back in January, I was asked to be a keynote speaker at a Young Adult Leadership Summit. I wanted to impart some wisdom as I shared my journey. Knowing that so much of my journey is wrapped up in my community, I decided to run with that idea. Here’s some of what I shared about community building and the journey that got me to where I am now!
I am a trans person. – One of the many stops on my gender journey was changing my name to one that felt more like home. I knew that I wanted the meaning of my name to be both qualities I embody and qualities I aspire to. After several visits to cafes to try on names – it became so clear that my name is Quinn Atlas. It checked every single box. Quinn means wise or counsel – and though I’m still in my 20’s, I think I’ve both acquired and shared lots of wisdom. The best part is that I get to continue becoming wiser and offering guidance to those who seek it from me. How cool!
Funnily enough, I knew that Atlas was going to be my middle name before I decided on Quinn as my first name. The meaning of the name Atlas is support – and though Atlas was condemned to hold up the sky for eternity, I chose this name as a reminder that I don’t have to do that. That I get to choose the kind of support I want to offer, how much I want to offer it, when I want to offer it, and, of course, why I want to offer support. Let me put this in context.
To understand why having autonomy over the ways I offer support is so important, let me take you back a bit to where I’ve been. Trust the process, this will all make sense soon.
I am glass child, an invisible child, the “other child”, or the child who lives in the shadow of a sibling whose needs take up a lot of their parents’ and caregivers’ time, energy, resources, attention, and protection. This is usually because of a disability or illness, but this dynamic can arise for a variety of reasons.
As a result, my teenhood and young adulthood looked really different from my peers. I was often left to my own devices, and expected to grow up really fast. I was expected to be needless, boundaryless, and helpful to my parents and my sibling, and that took a tremendous toll on me.
As a glass child, I’ve found it really difficult to find resources and stories from other glass children. When this experience is talked about, it’s typically in ways that sterilize the reality of glass children.
I felt like I always had to have everything figured out, and I got stuck in perfectionism really quickly. This, coupled with the immense pressure I felt to never say no, created the perfect environment for a crash and burn. When I felt like I couldn’t live up to mine and my family’s expectations, I lost my sense of self. I did not know who I was outside of being helpful and taking on responsibilities that never should have belonged to me, especially at 17 years old.
When I got to college, I started drinking heavily to numb my feelings of inadequacy. I felt like being away from home meant that I wasn’t showing up for my family – whenever my sibling was struggling, I told myself that it was my fault for not answering my phone during a lecture or for picking up an extra shift at work and not visiting that weekend.
My grades slipped, I lost my spot in the Honors Program, I found out I wasn’t going to graduate on time, I lost a lot of friends, and I eventually didn’t even recognize myself. I was stuck in a metaphorical revolving door of going to work, going to class, going to my second job, drinking to stop feeling, sleeping for a few hours, then waking up and doing it all over again.
It took more than I’d like to admit for me to stop self destructing. I was lucky; there were people in my life who saw what was happening. And they showed up. They were firm, but patient and understanding. I couldn’t get away with saying “I’m fine” anymore. Fine is the suckiest word anyways.
Now, my life looks a lot different. In 2020, I wrote and facilitated workshops about queer and trans identities, history, and allyship – which gave me the opportunity to lean into my desire to share my story and use it to educate folks. I started working as a peer support specialist for TurningPointCT a year ago, and it’s been one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had. Not only am I doing work that’s meaningful and purposeful, but I’ve also gotten to connect with some of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. This work has led me to advocacy in ways that feel so affirming. I’m growing into the adult that my younger self didn’t get to see – a queer, trans person who is not just surviving.
As I continue to learn and grow and change – I am moving towards cultivating more care in my community. I am stepping into fully showing up. More often, my yes’s no longer have silent no’s attached to them. I’m finding ways to make time for fun – to play and create and explore without pressure or expectation. I’m learning to take more breaks and more deep breaths. Curiosity is now my starting place on every map – because I know that if I can get to curious, I can get to possibilities. When I start from fear, resentment, frustration, and judgment – there’s no room for those possibilities to exist.
Gratitude and grief are two staples of my journey thus far. I know that I will have both in my life. Sometimes they’ll ebb and flow, sometimes they’ll come at the same time. I’m learning how to make space for both to exist both within myself and others.
It took time to re-orient my outlook on empathy, sharing, and generosity. I’d gotten so used to ignoring my needs and self sacrificing that it prevented me from understanding that practicing these skills did not have to come at the expense of myself. I truly believed that I existed for the purpose of making other peoples’ lives easier – and I grew more and more resentful each time I ignored my own capacity in order to help someone else. I didn’t realize that this resentment wasn’t actually anger at the people I was helping – it was a deep sadness that nobody was doing that for me. That understanding unlocked so much for me. It was like an invitation to listen to myself and honor what my mind and body were saying. I could be helpful and generous in ways that felt authentic. Why hadn’t anyone told me?!
Vulnerability was, and sometimes still is, a really hard sell. How could I be vulnerable when I had to have everything figured out? When I had to be responsible and resourceful and independent and needless? Yeah, I would sometimes tell my friends that I was having a hard time – but I wouldn’t let them show up for me in those moments. I was so afraid for people to see what was truly happening that I clammed up and shut down and changed the subject anytime someone got anywhere close to uncovering a piece of the truth. I couldn’t even be honest with myself – how could I be honest with other people?
Well the thing about the truth is, I could only run away from it for so long. My favorite professor caught on real quick – and he was not going to let me weasel my way out of a conversation during office hours. I sat down absolutely determined to say as little as possible and get out of there as fast as possible. He asked me “What’s going on?” followed by “tell me the truth, so we can figure this out together”.
What followed was vulnerability and radical honesty that I hadn’t been able to access before. He gave me a place to put it all down – all of the guilt and shame and fear I had been carrying. It felt like I took my first full breath in months – maybe years. I was finally able to let go of some of the perfectionism I had been clinging to so tightly. Suddenly I was a human being, not a human doing. Wild, I know. It made room for something else… making mistakes, messing up, and taking accountability.
This was a tough one. My perfectionism created one heck of a shame gremlin, and that shame gremlin could get real mean real quick. When the shame gremlin was loud, my outward defensiveness and justification of my actions followed in short order. I made excuses and explained myself to the point where I couldn’t hear what others were telling me – that I had hurt their feelings or broken their trust. I didn’t know how else to respond when I had caused harm. Nobody had ever shown me what taking accountability looks like. I had gotten so used to being blamed and shamed for making mistakes – and told that it was a reflection of me as a person – that I didn’t know anything other than defending myself.
When I started loosening my grip on perfectionism – it created space for me to listen to what others were saying to me. “You haven’t been answering my texts and I’m feeling like you don’t value our friendship” “You said you’d come to my concert, but you didn’t show and it hurt my feelings”
Now I can see that those were invitations to show up to my relationships – not criticisms of my character. Huh. Wild concept.
I’m no longer afraid to have those conversations. I understand that Accountability is the practice that allows us to move through the world knowing that if we make a mistake that causes harm, we have the tools and skills to repair that harm and restore trust in the relationship. And that feels a lot better than, well, whatever I was doing before.
There’s no right way to build community. But since my name means wisdom, I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to impart some. These are some of the things I’ve done to grow and sustain my community.
Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.
Reflecting on where I was at the beginning of this story, I can honestly say that I felt so disconnected from hope. I really didn’t believe that I could ever feel differently. Hope was for people with purpose – not boundaries doormats afraid of ever messing up.
Well – obviously something changed. Actually, a lot of things changed. A lot of old parts of me had to step back so I could nurture new parts – my vulnerable part, my accountable part, my curious part, my grateful part… they all wanted a seat at the table.
So I made room. I thanked the old parts of me for keeping me safe, for getting me this far – and I excused them from the table. I’d like to think they all went to take naps. I mean, what perfectionist/overachiever doesn’t need rest?
Doing this allowed me to connect more deeply with the people in my life and the people I had yet to meet. And in these deeper connections, a chosen family, a community, a network of mutual care, a sense of belonging grew in ways I never thought possible.
And it’s because of my community, my chosen family, my people – that I’m here.
This little life…
We all need a break sometimes, even when it’s hard to admit. After weeks of working on a project (updates coming soon!), preparing for public hearings, and apartment hunting, I was starting to feel pretty burnt out. It’s hard for me to accept when that happens. I’m so quick to jump to blaming and shaming myself, rather than giving myself the grace and understanding I would offer anyone else.
Instead of continuing the cycle of blame and shame and continuing to push myself, I made a spur of the moment decision to accompany my partner on a business trip to the Pacific Northwest. It’s not like me to make last minute travel plans, especially big ones, but something told me I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. I’m so glad I decided to go! Exploring a new city and taking a day trip up the coast were just what my brain needed to interrupt the loop of negative self-talk. It’s astounding what a change of scenery can do!
The views, the shops, the vegan food, and the queer community we found in the city all brought me back to myself. To the parts of me that know, in fact, I like this little life. – Q
As some of you may know, our Peer Support Specialist, Quinn (they/them), runs a virtual peer support group for LGBTQ+ high schoolers in Connecticut called Queers & Peers every Friday at 6:30 PM. Get to know some cool facts about them in their video below. And spread the word for their support group!
Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Quinn, our Peer Support Specialist, and Emily Stainton continue their conversation about living with ADHD. Topics include late diagnosis, tools and systems, medication, and advocacy. This is part two of a two part episode; listen to Living With ADHD Part 1 here!
Music by Oleksii Kaplunskyi from Pixabay
Want to be featured on an upcoming episode? DM us on Instagram or send an e-mail to turningpointct@positivedirections.org
Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Our peer support specialist, Quinn, is joined by Emily Stainton to talk about living with ADHD. Topics include late diagnosis, tools and systems, medication, and advocacy. This is part one of a two part episode, so stay tuned for part two, coming next week!
Music by Oleksii Kaplunskyi from Pixabay
Want to be featured on an upcoming episode? DM us on Instagram or send an e-mail to turningpointct@positivedirections.org
Check out our other podcast episodes here!
TurningPointCT’s Peer Support Specialist, Quinn, is hosting a virtual weekly peer support group for LGBTQ+ high schoolers in Connecticut. The group is held Friday evenings from 6:30-8pm on Zoom. Participation is free, voluntary, and confidential. Participants will have the opportunity to talk openly with their peers about mental health, identity, stress, joy, community, and more. To register, click here. Once you’ve registered, you’ll receive the Zoom link via e-mail.
Queers & Peers is a space for teens to build connections, to learn together through mutuality, to receive validation and understanding, and to support each other in moving towards their goals. Together, participants will create a set of group agreements to ensure the space is safe, supportive, and meets their needs.
This group is absolutely free and open to all CT high schoolers who belong to the LGBTQ+ community. For more information, contact Quinn at qjannetty@positivedirections.org or call/text (475) 999-2605.
Happy Mental Health Awareness Month, y’all! One of the ways I take care of my mental health is by using an app called Finch. I use this app to track progress on goals, see changes in my mood over time, reflect on my day, and to send uplifting messages to my friends who also use the app. The Finch app is the brainchild of two friends (Nino and Steph) who both struggle with anxiety and depression. They wanted to make self care accessible after noticing that many other folks shared similar struggles.
Every morning while I drink my coffee and start my daily routine, I power up my finch, Pluto, to go out on their adventure. When Pluto returns, they share what they discovered for the day. Sometimes it’s a new food or a song, other times they share a joke they heard. Each day is different, and each discovery helps to shape Pluto’s personality and likes and dislikes. So far, Pluto loves Yesterday by The Beatles, Finding Nemo, pineapple cake, Over the Garden Wall, and snorkeling in Maui.
Tracking my progress on goals like staying in touch with friends, nourishing my body, taking time for personal joys, and building my confidence as I navigate a new chapter of my life is incredibly easy. More importantly, I have so much fun interacting with Pluto. Incentivizing progress towards my goals has not only motivated me, but has also encouraged me to get out of my own way. Using Finch has helped me give myself permission to pursue the life I envision for myself. Historically, that’s been difficult for me. But I’ve noticed quite a difference in the way that I show up for myself and for others since I started this journey.
There are so many things that I love about the app. As someone who struggles with ADHD, I love that it allows me to gamify my day by rewarding me with rainbow stones for completing goals and sending good vibes to friends. I can use these rainbow stones to “buy” cute outfits and home decor for my finch. During moments of high stress or anxiety, I use the in app breathing exercises to help regulate my nervous system. When I need to focus, I use the soundscapes as timers to remind me when I need to switch tasks. There are so many useful features, including quizzes, reflections, journal prompts, goal progress reports, mood tracking, and more.
For folks who would like access to the paid version of the app but don’t have the means to purchase a subscription, the Finch team hosts a raffle every month for a free month subscription sponsored by one of Finch’s guardians. Every month, over 1000 Finch plus subscriptions are awarded to raffle winners!
Hi everyone! I’m Quinn and I recently joined the Turning Point CT team. I’m a queer, trans non-binary, astrology enthusiast with a degree in psychological science. My interest in mental health and wellness started when I was a teen. During that time, my younger sibling started experiencing symptoms of mental illness. This motivated me to enter the field of mental health as an agent of change and as an advocate for community care.
I spent a few years working in direct care for individuals with schizophrenia, eating disorders, Alzheimer’s and dementia, depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, and more. I noticed that many of the folks I worked with were struggling to get their needs met, even in settings that aimed to provide comprehensive care. This motivated me to continue researching and learning about the various approaches to mental wellness. When the opportunity to join the Turning Point CT team arose, I knew that I wanted to jump on it.
Over the course of the pandemic, the need for peer support and community care became increasingly obvious to me. In a time of such widespread isolation and fear, I found myself yearning for spaces to be in community. I subscribed to the Patreon of my favorite podcast and attended weekly Zoom calls with the hosts. In these weekly meetings, I ended up meeting some of my very best friends to this day. I also hosted virtual game nights and educational workshops as the Advocacy Director of a local organization called The Reflection Zone. In these spaces, I was fortunate enough to find the connection and collective care that I was seeking. I hope to facilitate similar spaces through my work with TurningPointCT.
In my free time, you’ll probably find me on local hiking trails keeping an eye out for new plants and fungi with my partner, Jackie. When I’m not on the trails, I’m usually in the kitchen cooking for friends and family and measuring spices with my heart. Who needs measuring spoons anyways? I’m also a lifelong musician. I love improvising on the piano and trying to keep up with my favorite songs on the guitar.
I’m already so proud to be a member of the Turning Point CT team, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my journey and to use my experiences to connect with young folks across CT.
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