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Back In Therapy

At the end of last year, I mentioned that I was looking to start therapy again. As of this month, I’ve officially gotten back in with a therapist. It’s been a long time coming.

The Search For A Therapist

Last year, I reached out to in-network therapists around me that specialized in things that were important to me. I wanted someone that had experience with trauma and anxiety. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear back from a single one.

At the end of March, I got an email from Yale New Haven Health about this program they have that helps you find care. I decided to check out the website. I filtered it for mental health providers and I happened to find one that was up the road from my house. They specialize in all of the things that I wanted, but they don’t work with insurance at all. However, they provide a super bill so I can put a claim in with my insurance to hopefully get some money back.

What was even better was I could start the process of getting an intake appointment online. I spent a lot of time filling out the paperwork they have potential clients fill out. I wanted to make sure it was clear what my intentions were when it came to therapy as well as my expectations. Honestly, I read through every bit of information they gave me, and it really seemed like this would be a great fit. The next day they got back to me and said based on what I filled out, I would be a great fit and that I could skip the intake and schedule an appointment.

I was honestly shocked that it was SO EASY. I did not expect to fill out everything and then have an appointment within days. Not a single phone call in the process. They texted me to set everything up. I would have had no issue talking on the phone to get an appointment, but it was just such a breeze.

Beginning Therapy Sessions

I had my first therapy appointment a couple days before my 27th birthday. I’ve had bad therapists in the past and I’m always worried that I might have someone who doesn’t vibe with me. However, I got SO LUCKY with my therapist, she’s great.

In my intake appointment I literally said “I just rawdog life” and she totally got the reference and laughed. It’s important to me that I don’t have to filter myself and my personality in therapy. I’ve had therapists in the past who have had judgement written all over their face as I’ve talked. It’s a horrible feeling.

Hunches Confirmed

I go once a week, and so far all of my sessions have been great. She has given me some really great things to try to help ground myself when my anxiety gets to be unbearable. She also confirmed my hunch that I probably have sensory processing disorder and Misophonia. I didn’t even bring up that I thought I might have them, she offered it up based on something I was telling her.

Misophonia is when you have a really strong emotional reaction to sounds. These reactions usually seem really unreasonable to people. For example, there’s a girl at work who kicks her chair repeatedly all day and it makes me irrationally angry. Sometimes I have to put in my headphones with music and take a walk. Otherwise, I lose my mind. But, I don’t feel like I could tell my job that I don’t want to work in-office because of this. I don’t think they’d take me seriously.

Other times it’s the sound of the washing machine/dryer. I’ll have to put in noise cancelling headphones to escape the sounds. Sometimes my boyfriend will be playing some video game and the gun sounds or repetitive noises of the characters will completely enrage me.

As much as it’s like “agh, another disorder to tack on to the list” it’s also comforting to know that there is an explanation for the things that I deal with on a daily basis. Having a therapist helps with learning these things as well as learning coping skills to live with these things I know I struggle with.

Happy To Be Back In Therapy

I’m looking forward to continuing working with a therapist again. It’s nice to have someone who I don’t feel like I have to defend myself and my brain to. It’s part of their job to understand these disorders that are a part of me. I have supportive friends and family, but it’s just different having someone who not only gets it, but can give you HELPFUL advice. It’s so worth the investment.

– Kailey