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Our Stories

Being Sexually Abused – LMB, Age: 24

I found a church that helped me to cope with my anger and sadness without asking so many questions. It helped me to forgive him and move on.

What have you struggled with? When did it become too much?

I was sexually abused by my step father for 9 years. Starting from when I was 11 years old and continued until I was 20 years old. My biggest struggle was that because he took me in, I had to do what he said. Nothing is free in this world, and you have to pay a price to eat, buy clothes, go out and have fun. So I started working at age 14, but even then he would find a way to make me do what he wanted. He was two different people. In the day he was a father, to my brothers and sisters and me. But at night he was this person that would tell me, he is a man and I am a woman and that’s what adults do . I started paying rent and buying my own things just so it could stop and it did for a few months but then one night he got drunk and came into my room, I was 20 years old. That night I left his house. He was my father and my own father hurt me…. There was no turning back, I was to afraid to tell my brothers and sisters. And when I was leaving he said he would kill himself if I told them…. I never said a word to my family.

What kind of support did you get at first? Did it work?

I didn’t have support I turned my back on all my family. Shortly after that I found a church that helped me to cope with my anger and sadness without asking so many questions. It helped me to forgive him and move on. I went back to my family, and my step dad asked me to forgive him.

Were there any turning points where things really started to change for the better?

After I reconnected with my family, I felt less lost and I felt a sense of peace. I knew I was stronger and I felt stronger. I found a person that accepted me and worked with me through my issues . At that point I felt like things were looking up.

What’s your life like now? What have you been able to accomplish, and what are you working towards?

I am happily married and I am pregnant. I couldn’t be happier to start my new family with a man that loves me and I him. I graduated Cal State Fullerton with my BA in Criminology. I work with at risks students and I love it. I am working towards being a great mother to my kid and raise him with what I never had.

What would you say to people who are having a tough time? What’s helped you that you wish you had known earlier

I would tell them to never give up. You choose your future, And no one deserves to take away your happiness. What helped me was to forgive. I wish I knew that what was happening to me and what I was doing with my Step dad was wrong and that I didn’t have to do it or stay quiet. I wish I told someone, Even if they wouldn’t have believed me. As a child you don’t owe anything to anyone and no one has the right to take your child hood that way. Speak out!