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When I turned 19 years old, I started smoking marijuana with my friends almost everyday. I was also drinking every night after work. and partying every weekend. I thought there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. I just kept telling myself I need to continue on this path, It is my fate to keep using till I die. Then when I turned 21, I experience cocaine for the first time. Once I tried coke I loved it instantly. I felt like I was superman. I I always had non stop energy. I thought this was a positive effect, but what I didn’t realize is that I was also in a manic state of mind. I thought I was invincible. I used to go to the club every weekend and drank till I blacked out. Afterwards, I would walk down the streets of New Haven looking for drugs and just talking to random people. there were times when I used to sleep in my car because I was too intoxicated to drive. Luckily, I would make it back home safe the next day. I knew something could’ve happened to me but I just didn’t care. Then before my 22nd birthday I was introduced to crack-cocaine, and this is when my life really went down hill. Once I took my first hit and felt my first high that was it. I was instantly addicted. Everyday of my life; every hour, I spent chasing my next high. I eventually lost my job because I wasn’t showing up. I even spent all my money; even my savings, on another crack rock. This went on for about a year and six months. It got to a point where I was actually over the bridge in Ansonia CT, ready to jump. Surprisingly, someone I knew stopped as soon as I was about to jump and stopped me. Till this day, I believe in miracles. I knew that was my higher power looking out for me. I wasn’t my time to go yet. I was then taken to the hospital and spent about a week in the psych-ward. After I was discharged, I began praying to god every day that I would never touch drugs again. After about a week I was able to find help. I found a mental health and addiction clinic in my area that helped council me through my struggle. I even attended Narcotics Anonymous meeting three days a week. Eventually I was able to kick the habit and I have been clean now for over a year and 5 months. Ever since I stopped life has been much more enjoyable for me. I found another job, I eat right and take care of my mental and physical health and I rebuilt my relationships with my friends and family. My advise to everyone is to never touch drugs because if you become addicted, it will take you down hard. To the point where you will have nothing.
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TurningPointCT.org was developed by young people in Connecticut who are in recovery from mental health and substance use issues. We know what it’s like to feel alone, stressed, worried, sad, and angry. We’ve lived through the ups and downs of self-harm, drugs and alcohol, and the struggle to find help.
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